Ken Griffin discovered that his wife was having an affair. Only by going through hell did he discover how strong he really was.
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I have always believed there is a good person inside of us all who guides our decision making and helps us down the path we should be on. Call it fate, divine intervention, your soul, or just the golden rule but something is there to push us where we need to be.
Less than a year ago I was married and believed things were looking up. I had completed couples counseling, had a decent job, health was improving, and then I found a diary. In this diary detailed my ex-wife’s affair, her love of this new man, her loathing for me, and a fun little passage about their sex couch.
It was only 24 hours before that I made her supper, kissed her goodnight, and was excited to go see a movie with her that weekend. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. To say I was a mess would be an understatement. I was resentful, hateful, self-loathing, and borderline suicidal all for a woman who did not want me.
Our divorce moved quickly and I moved out to an apartment in the same complex as hers. Tip for all out there…do not do this. It was a nightmare.
I feared being alone and saw the end of my relationship as the end of me.
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I was manic looking out the windows to see who was coming to pick her up (what I saw made it worse). I was out of control and losing my mind with anger and fear. I feared being alone and saw the end of my relationship as the end of me.
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After a month or so of wallowing in my own mess and living inside my head I decided to start trying to live again. I spent an hour a day on Thegoodmenproject.com website, watched countless hours of the Joe Rogan experience podcast and I took to good music to push me to find myself again.
I picked up my pen and started writing each day including a letter to her which I never sent. In the letter I accused, I screamed, I punished, and I forgave. The forgiveness felt right even though my heart had been shattered. I knew that I could not make her love me again so why keep allowing her to hinder my progress.
I look back at the man I was a year ago and I can honestly say finding that diary was the best thing that ever happened to me. Her painful words allowed me to find mine…
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I took to the gym and started eating better than I ever had in my life. The routine saved me. The daily grind of work, workout, eat right, became my routine and I was able to establish a pattern of success. Writing was my outlet and by finding solace in my new clear thoughts I found a new career as a writer.
Since my reclaiming of my destiny I have become married again, I have a baby on the way, and I look forward to opening my eyes each day. The ability to stay focused has been my biggest challenge, but I have my own back now. Only by going through hell did I find out just how strong I really am.
I look back at the man I was a year ago and I can honestly say finding that diary was the best thing that ever happened to me. Her painful words allowed me to find mine, and thank you to The Good Men Project for allowing me to put mine out in the universe.
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Photo by Yuri Samoilov
You had me cheering at working out, eating well, focusing on work and writing
Its the best way out of lies deceit and the infidelity of the marriage widget
I would have added travel