Katelyn Cohen tackles some of the most widely-held myths about sex.
Old-fashioned ideas have left sex shrouded in mystery. Many of us have heard the following myths and repeated them at one time or another and much of them have been accepted as truths. We’ve heard them on the school yard and we’ve read them on the internet. It’s important for our continuous and progressive sex education to debunk them. GetLusty’s Katelyn Cohen breaks down 5 super-dumb sex myths.
#1 Men and women have different sexual peaks
Who hasn’t heard this at some point? Men reach their sexual peak at 18, or so, while women do not until their 30s—so the story goes. And although there is little evidence to support this statement, it continues to perpetuate. Yes, it is true sex hormones change drastically for men and women during these ages, but that does not necessarily indicate a change in the desire for frequent sex. In fact, women are most fertile in their early 20s.
Rather, this myth is an attempt to explain why teenage boys are so horny and why the cougar phenomenon exists. It’s possible that women in their 30s and 40s are more confident in their sexuality and express it more freely. And young women, due in large part to societal pressure, may hide their sexual urges more so than young men. Ultimately, changes in personal attitude seem to affect sexuality more than changes in age.
#2 Vaginal orgasms are the best orgasms
This myth was spread by none other than Freud himself. He argued that clitoral orgasms were immature and that real women only had vaginal orgasms through sexual intercourse. Scientific research has shown women can have different types of orgasms through various means of stimulation, and it’s all perfectly normal!
That has not stopped women, however, from feeling inadequate about their orgasms. Many women feel they’re doing something wrong if they’re not able to climax during sex. The documentary, Orgasm Inc., examines the lengths women will go to have the “right” kind of orgasm. Everything from creams, pills and surgeries are being marketed to women as a cure to a non-problem.
#3 Great sex just happens
Pop culture dictates that when two people are very attracted to one another, sparks fly and amazing sex ensues – unless you are just bad at sex. In that case, there is no hope for you. This all-or-nothing view to sex is categorically false! All lovers need practice to become good lovers. Firstly, communication about sex is paramount in beginning to satisfy your partner. Open-mindedness will lead to trying techniques and positions. Add a little time and practice, and any couple can have fantastic sex.
#4 Planned sex is bad sex
The myth here is that if you aren’t having spontaneous sex, it’s just not worth it. When long-term couples become busy, sex is one of the first things to slip. You may then begin to worry your partner does not find you attractive or that your desire is gone. In this case, it helps to make a schedule. Select a day (or days) the two of you will commit to having sex. The idea that this denotes routine and boring sex could not be further from the truth. Actually, the anticipation of the special day can make planned sex especially exciting.
#5 Chocolate will up your libido
Chocolate has long been touted as an aphrodisiac that increases libido. Chocolate, in fact, does contain tryptophan and phenylethylamine, which can give you lovey-dovey feelings. However, you would have to eat tons of M&Ms to feel the effects. According to a study, though, there is no difference in sexual satisfaction or arousal in people who’ve eaten chocolate. The sexy effects of a candy bar are most likely psychological instead.
Originally appeared at Get Lusty For Couples
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Katelyn Cohen holds an MA in Sexuality Studies from Dublin City University. Her specific areas of interest include sexual health and social trends. In addition to writing and music, Katelyn enjoys crossword puzzles, trivia, and knitting. Katelyn is a staff writer at GetLusty among many other amazing feats. She is also a cellist and singer-songwriter who plays with several Chicago bands. Want to know more? Follow Katelyn on Twitter @katelyncohen or email her here.