Raised in a masculine-obsessed world, taught to deny emotions and depreciate feminine ways of being, it’s no surprise many men struggle to love all of a woman.
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The deepest heart of a man wants a woman in her wild fullness.
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Assuming that women can’t by nature be abusive is simply inaccurate. Looks like a number of the men on this thread would agree with that. The pedestal you refer to has a cage on top of it where men keep “ideal feminine” women in mind. This is just the devaluing we would like to escape from, to be loved in our “wild fullness” the same as men want and deserve. Idealizing men is harmful to relationships; idealizing women is harmful to relationships. You can’t love all of a person if you love an ideal instead. Women don’t want to be… Read more »
I don’t assume that at all. In fact, I’ve witnessed a woman’s repeated abuse, and it’s awful. So that conclusion is not what I’m suggesting at all.
@ Terri “Assuming that women can’t by nature be abusive is simply inaccurate. Looks like a number of the men on this thread would agree with that. ” That’s true and I’m one of them, but we can often see abuse a lot clearer in another relationship than we can in our own. ““fine, if you want to be treated like a man, we’ll treat you in the worst ways we treat men” In most cases, that’s not true. What usually happens is that women are surprised on how crappy men are treated. They buy into the myth that it’s… Read more »
It was very entertaining, thanks. I know you mean well and I was a bit more gender balance in the presentation than some of the other commenters that doesn’t mean I think you’re right. I think you got one huge thing wrong. Men are taught to devalue the feminine IN THEMSELVES not in women. Men are taught to put the ideal feminine on a pedestal. I might put her bad behavior off on that time of the month or women being just irrational, but I do it because of an innate feeling that women can’t by nature be abusive. That’s… Read more »
Yes, absolutely. We were taught to deny the feminine in ourselves, whcih is why we can’t accept it outside ourselves. I believe my points about “don’t be a girl” “don’t cry” etc. … illustrate that. Nowhere do I make the conclusion that women can’t be abusive. I know they can. I’m not making excuses for them.
@ Bryan Reeves I don’t know that I disagree with your conclusions as much as I disagree with your assumptions. Misidentifying the problem. I think it’s less hatred of the feminine and more enforcement of strict gender roles. What’s the difference? Feminine is good and perceived as such if you’re a woman. Feminine is bad and perceived as such if you’re a man. I do admit though that I’m having difficulty qualifying the difference between loving a woman in her wildness and putting her on a pedestal and that night be where U’m getting lost. You mention fixing things and… Read more »
I definitely agree men would do well to learn how to deal with their own emotions better. However, I don’t agree that culturally we’ve decided “feminine is good if you’re a woman.” At best we sexualize the feminine in women and still do our best to shame “emotional instability” out of them (and obviously out of men, too).
Bryan this is good!
You are so right and many women know we are not loved.
@Silke,
“You are so right and many women know we are not loved.”
Yes, and there are even fewer men who are loved, desired, or even viewed as worthy of love and desire.
Because women have issues too.
Anyone who says they’re made of sugar and spice and everyhing nice are just full of it.
To make a point out of it, you could say that most men today grow up without a good masculine role model, because our fathers were raised by women, too. And we don’t want to live in your little box of perceptions, either.
we all have issues … indeed!
In the immortal words of Nelson Muntz: “Haha!”
I knew you would say that. 😉
Well said, Flying Kal!!!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom. This priceless wisdom seems has been perfected by many mistakes. And, while I know you’re not done growing and learning, it was awesomely refreshing to be a part of this moment by watching though the Internet. I would love to purchase all of your works, because you “get it.” You’ve said what I’ve tried to explain from a modern woman’s perspective. Instead of having to shout ” I don’t want to live in your box of perceptions,” I can continue to live free. And that freedom will attract the man that’s not interested in… Read more »
Hi Vivian : ) Thank you for your reflection. with love, Bryan