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Do you frequently find yourself worrying what others think about you? Do these thoughts consume your life? The good news is that you aren’t alone. The bad news is that you need to get this under control before it becomes an even bigger part of who you are, what you say, and how you act.
How to Stop Being So Self-Conscious
Do you constantly put the needs of others ahead of your own? Do you think too much about what you say? Do your values morph depending on the social group you find yourself in? Do you feel guilty when things go wrong? Are you constantly trying to please everyone at the same time? Is it difficult for you to ask for help?
According to icliniq, if you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then it’s a sign that you worry too much about what others think.
Being self-conscious is what makes you human, but there’s a difference between possessing self-awareness and allowing it to control every little thought and decision you make. When external thoughts and opinions supersede your internal desires, convictions, and needs, life becomes less enjoyable.
But how can you step out of your mind and correct this broken way of thinking? It’s not easy, but with a few practical steps, you can reclaim control and spend more energy on what makes you happy. Here’s where to start:
1. Increase Self-Confidence
It’s almost impossible to be worried about what others think when you possess a high level of self-confidence. If you’re lacking in this area, there are several practical things you can do.
The first step is to affirm yourself. Tell yourself that you’re worthy, talented, attractive, etc. and you’ll eventually start to believe it.
“Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves,” entrepreneur Chris Dunn explains. “These are normally more effective if said out loud so that you can hear yourself say it. We tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly. For example, if you hate your own physical appearance, practice saying something that you appreciate or like about yourself when you next look in the mirror.”
As self-confidence increases, you’ll take the erroneous opinions of others far less seriously.
2. Surround Yourself With Positive People
Extremely self-conscious people are often surrounded by negative individuals who constantly point out flaws and shortcomings. If you have “friends” like this in your life, it’s time to replace them with positive people.
You don’t need people in your life who constantly tear you down. Honesty is good, but a true friend will encourage you and build you up. As such, you’ll be less worried about pleasing others and more focused on self-improvement.
3. Identify and Remove Triggers
Make a list of the top three to five things that trigger your self-consciousness the most. This could be something physical, like your weight, or something less tangible, like the lack of a particular social skill.
Once you identify the triggers in your life, do your best to remove or overcome them. By focusing more on the issue and less on the response of others, you’ll experience progress.
4. Develop Better Attention Control
To stop focusing on what others think of you, it’s important that you develop attentional control.
“Attentional control is what it sounds like: being able to control what you pay attention to,” psychologist Raj Raghunathan says. “It involves practicing the ability to direct your attention to those things on which you wish to focus, and away from those things on which you do not wish to focus.”
Attentional control takes time to develop, but it’s a practical skill that you can use to shift your mindset and block out the noise.
Live a Life of Freedom
Constantly worrying about what others think of you makes it feel like you’re living in shackles. You don’t have to live like this forever. It’ll be uncomfortable, and you’ll feel the friction, but choosing to remove these restraints will allow you to live a life of freedom.
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Photo credit: Getty Images