I have always been the romantic type, growing up with a mother that loved to watch such classics as “You’ve Got Mail” or “An Affair to Remember.” So let’s just say when it came to dating, I had high expectations. I tried to do the “online thing,” but that fell short as I only ever met very odd men. So it was when I decided at 25 to give up dating all together that I actually met the man of my dreams…
I was working at a medical office at the time, while he worked across the hall. We shared the same manager, so he would come over quite often to speak with her and that is how he started noticing me. I would brush him off most of the time, with the intention of not wanting to be bothered, but he persisted. After months of his persistence, I decided to give dating him a shot. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with his kindness, compassion, and his views on life. He was an amazing person that I felt lucky to have in my life, the only problem was…he was 20 years older than me.
I was terrified to tell my mother about our relationship in fear that she would shun it, but in reality, I got a very understanding and supportive response from her. I did try to hide our age gap from other family members, only to realize that they “stalked” him later on Facebook to find out his real age. My father even told me I couldn’t marry him because of this fact. I wasn’t going to listen to him, I was in love and this was my choice.
The family was not the only outside source trying to ruin our relationship, I also got it from friends and coworkers. You would tell them about the age difference only to get greeted with judgment. Then came the comments like… “Do you have father issues,” “What if he dies and leaves you widowed at a young age?” “What if you want to have kids?” Honestly, I was just happy to find someone that I enjoyed spending my time with and that treated me right. I didn’t care about anything else, well except the kids. That was something I was not willing to compromise on, but he told me that he wanted to make my dreams come true and give me a child one day.
After he proposed though, our love story took another unexpected turn. I ended up having to have surgery to remove one of my ovaries due to a cyst the size of a grapefruit. I was informed later how devastated he was about how this may affect my ability to have a child. He knew how much I wanted to have children and he loved me so much that this news really affected him. I knew right then whatever was meant to be would be, I needed him in my life and I couldn’t imagine life without him.
Fast forward 3 years, now married and currently expecting our first child. This is the life I have always dreamed of and no matter how many people criticize or look down on me for our relationship, I will always know that age is just a number, and love is actually about finding someone you can’t live without.
This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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Photo credit: Burst