Have you ever noticed how ‘naturals’ never want to settle down with one woman? Playboys. Chads. Studs. Casanovas. Whatever you want to call them. They all love the single life.
Singledom is portrayed as amazing fun for these attractive men — and miserable for everyone else. But it doesn’t have to be like that. You can learn to enjoy being single even if you’re not getting any action — and this guide explains how to do it.
Better yet, it’ll explain how this mindset shift will help you to land more dates than ever before. So, let’s dive in.
Why Is Enjoying The Single Life So Attractive?
Women chase ‘players’. We hear it all the time. But why is that? It’s not always because of some physical or financial advantage, nor because they’re more charming. Their ability to enjoy the single life is a big part of what makes them so desirable.
When a man enjoys being single, he’s not nervous around women. He feels free to tease them, make jokes and have a great time. Women feel that and have a great time with him. Moreover, he doesn’t bombard them with messages. He doesn’t pressure them to hang out with him or become his girlfriend. Often, it’s difficult to get his attention because he’s out doing other things. Maybe he’s even dating other women. These are all honest signals of a high-value man. That’s why women will chase this guy. It plays to their hypergamy. After all, women only want to date men they see as on their level or above them.
When a man doesn’t enjoy being single, he treats dating like a big deal. He smothers women with attention they haven’t earned. Maybe he’s a little nervous around them. Often, he’s the one pushing them for commitment. The thing is: he’s kind of predictable. Usually, he’s too scared to stand up for himself, make bold moves and allow her to feel a rollercoaster of emotions. These are honest signals that he thinks he’s trying to bat ‘out of his league’. And he’s batting like his happiness depends on it.
Most single men act like this, because most men are deprived of female attention. That’s a tragedy, which has worrying consequences for society. The good news is: by learning to enjoy the single life, you can stand out as one of your city’s most eligible bachelors.
How I Learned To Enjoy Being Single
You can’t say: “don’t be needy” to a single man. It’s like telling a starving hobo to not be hungry.
Sex and intimacy are among the basic human needs. Men will act a little strange without them. It’s not just the shortage of physical pleasure. It’s loneliness. It’s the loss of self-esteem. For some guys, it’s the fear of never having their own family. It’s tough!
That’s why I wanted to share this list of actions that helped me to enjoy the single life. Consider this your to-do list for the new year.
Create a life that’s fun without a woman in it
A lot of lonely single guys believe a girlfriend will fix all their problems. That mindset fuels neediness.
It’s better to create a life that you love with or without a woman in it. Spend time with friends. Develop hobbies. Travel. Start an exciting side-hustle. Find a purpose that makes you excited to wake up in the morning.
Now, you’re creating a life that a woman would want to be a part of! More importantly though, you’ll stop yourself from wanting one so badly.
Improve your flirting
In the past, I thought seduction only worked if a woman thought you were good-looking. Then, I discovered the men’s dating advice community.
It may have some controversial advice, but the underlying message changed my life. That lesson is: any man can become a great seducer.
Flirting is like any other skill. By learning how to approach a woman respectfully and create sexual tension, you can captivate women who would have left-swiped your Tinder profile. By practicing a lot, you can learn from your mistakes and do better next time.
Stop taking rejection personally
Fear of rejection is the main hurdle stopping men from approaching a lot of women. For so many guys, failing at this skill feels personal.
The higher your self-esteem, the easier it is to brush off a “no”. That’s why a lot of men’s dating advice surrounds their mindset. Here are a few facts that’ll help you get over romantic rejection.
- Women can’t reject you, only what you show them. They’re rejecting your ‘audition’. Often, that’s only a few seconds worth of your personality.
Most rejections are because of her, not you. Maybe she has a boyfriend. Perhaps you look like her ex-boyfriend. Maybe she was in a hurry or having a bad day. - The more rejections you take, the more you realize they’re not a big deal.
- Most romantic rejections won’t matter in one year, one month or even one minute’s time. Once you find a ‘yes’, the ‘nos’ become irrelevant.
By trying, you’re doing what most men are too scared to do. - If you don’t try, you’ll never know what could have happened. That generally feels a lot worse.
- Rejection means you’re trying to improve. If you keep trying and keep learning from your mistakes, there’s no way you can fail.
I’ve probably racked up thousands of rejections since discovering the men’s dating advice community. Many of these women expressed their gratitude for the compliment. The worst thing that has happened is they said no.
My coaching partner once had a woman say: “Why would I want to talk to you?”. That’s as bad as it’s likely to get.
I’ve also enjoyed hundreds of successes. These range from to phone numbers that led nowhere, all the way to dates, hook-ups and long-term relationships. The rewards are worth the supposed ‘risks’.
Focus on the magic
Once you overcome your anxiety and stop taking rejection personally, the world becomes your playground. You can see women anywhere and create a magical experience from nothing.
I met my ex-girlfriend in a queue for ramen noodles. My coaching partner met his ex at the pet store. I have tons of stories like this — and the spontaneity of these adventures make me feel ALIVE. I go to the club sober expecting to have fun with a ton of new people. My excitement rubs off on them and most people are happy to meet me. This is a stark contrast from hoping someone would like me, so I could stop being miserable.
Being single is magical because you never know who you might meet and what experience you could have. Perhaps it’s time you focus on this potential upside too.
When You Enjoy Being Single, You’ll Attract An Amazing Partner
When you enjoy being single, you feel less pressure to impress women. You’ll feel more free to ‘be yourself’ no matter what they think. You’ll be less worried to leave a woman who isn’t exactly right for you.
On top of that, you’ll feel more sociable, charismatic and inspired to go after what you want. These are all qualities that’ll help you choose the perfect partner.
Rather than settling for the first woman who’ll have you, you’ll hold on and choose the best partner from a wider range of options. What’s more, your woman is more likely to treat you like a king throughout the relationship, knowing you’re surely not afraid to replace a sub-par partner. Hopefully, you’ll choose to treat her like your queen. This is the way to build relationships that last.
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My book The Thrill Of The Chase details the entire story of how I overcame heartbreak to learn how to enjoy being single and ultimately attract the perfect girlfriend. You can learn more by clicking here or watching the video below.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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