—
The way I measure a successful year has always been less about material accumulation and financial success than about trying new things, having quality experiences, and feeling that I actually enjoyed my time. As we head toward the end of the year, I decided that I needed to catalog my accomplishments in this year that seemed filled with more losses than gains and more struggle than ease. I took out my trusty pen and handy dandy notebook and got started.
◊♦◊
I wasn’t just disappointed in love; I was devastated. I was in love with someone I couldn’t actually be with because he had absolutely destroyed my trust in ways that couldn’t be repaired. My heart was broken, but I survived it. I MacGyvered it together with grit, perseverance, adult beverages, and distractions. I got through it, and even if there are still days that are far from easy, I’m still surviving them.
I completed my first half-marathon.
I had trained for and completed my first half marathon—on Valentine’s Day weekend, no less. It was a great distraction that provided me with a physical outlet as well as an achievement I could be proud of on a weekend that might have been difficult otherwise.
I took a swimming lesson.
I really wanted to compete in a triathlon, and I’ve never been a strong swimmer. I took a swimming lesson, and then I spent the summer working to get stronger. I still have a hard time swimming in chlorine, but I’m much improved. But I had to let go of the triathlon idea. It turns out that I enjoy swimming, but I kind of hate riding a bike.
I started kayaking regularly.
I just can’t run in the summer heat. I hate it. But I also hate not being active. If hiking and running were out of reach, I would find something else to do. And so I did. I started kayaking a couple of times a month. I found that the time on the lake was soothing, and it also gave me a cross-training experience. Mostly, I found that it gave me a sense of peace.
I went on a personal retreat.
My kids’ father wanted to take them to Universal for a week, and I was left at loose ends over spring break. I barely had two dimes to rub together, but I decided that I desperately needed a retreat. I rented a teepee at a campsite and spent the weekend ferrying over to Cumberland Island to soak in nature. It was exactly what I needed, and I came back from my solitary trip renewed.
I joined a writer’s group & went on a writer’s retreat.
This is far and away the best thing I’ve ever done for my career. I went to a literary event and met someone who invited me to a writing group. Some days, we just get together and write. Other days, we critique each other’s work. Not only do I get to hear beautiful writing from a variety of genres, but I can also take my work to a group of people I respect and get honest feedback on what changes I might need to make. I was even able to attend a writer’s retreat to get some work done on the book I was writing.
I finished writing a book and started a new one.
I managed to complete the third book in the series I’m writing and started on a fourth. I even took some time to go back and revise the others I’d written. There’s still so much work to be done, but this has been an incredibly productive year.
I read a lot of books.
This can’t be overstated. I read so many spectacular books this year. I got recommendations from friends and read some new releases that seemed intriguing. I dove into romance and mysteries and such incredibly beautiful writing. I spent time reading a little self-help in the mix, enjoying humorous titles as well as more serious tomes.
I started a daily yoga practice.
I’ve been doing yoga off and on since college but only weekly. I started a daily yoga practice over the summer that I enjoy. It helps keep me centered, and it reminds me that self-care should be something we do every day and not just when we’re stressed.
I survived a devastating financial setback.
Let’s just say that I trusted the wrong person and ended up broke. I survived a devastating financial setback by writing professionally, giving plasma, participating in paid research, signing up for focus groups, taking on freelance work, couponing, and by going to court to make sure that money I am owed would be paid back. It has been an incredibly difficult year, but it was one where I got to see the full powers of my own resourcefulness.
◊♦◊
The year isn’t even over. I’ve signed up for a swing dancing weekend that will take place soon. I joined a book club recently, although we haven’t had the first official meeting since the book was assigned. I’m setting goals for myself and reaching them. I’ve also spent a lot of quality time with my children, something that will always top my list.
It seemed like this last year was the kind that I’d want to avoid looking back on. After all, I started it absolutely drenched in tears. I’ve spent the year healing, and when I look back, I don’t just see the process of patching up my broken heart. I also see that I did incredible things for myself and gave myself amazing experiences to remember. I spent a difficult year living my dreams, even if those dreams had to change a little when my romance fell apart.
Sometimes it takes giving ourselves a little more perspective when we’re feeling like the year has just been garbage. Parts of it certainly were. But I’ve found that there are also things that have mattered to me this year. I may have MacGyvered this whole year—patching it up and building a new life with whatever was handy at the time. There’s not a thing in the world wrong with that. But it would have been a shame if I’d thrown the whole year away as a loss simply because something didn’t work out the way I once wanted. I might have missed out on so many beautiful things.
—
This post was originally published on medium.com, and is republished here with the author’s permission.
—
◊♦◊
What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
◊♦◊
Are you a first-time contributor to The Good Men Project? Submit here:
◊♦◊
Have you contributed before and have a Submittable account? Use our Quick Submit link here:
◊♦◊
Do you have previously published work that you would like to syndicate on The Good Men Project? Click here:
◊♦◊
Got Writer’s Block?
Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.
♦◊♦
We are a participatory media company. Join us.
Participate with the rest of the world, with the things you write and the things you say, and help co-create the world you want to live in.
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all-access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class, and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group, and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Pixabay