Will you pay the bill and risk being seen as sexist, or will you ask her to split the bill and risk being seen as cheap?
Just a few days ago I was on my way to a lunch. I was meeting some friends at a nice small restaurant in town.
After I parked my car in an underground parking garage, I walked up the stairs toward the exit and noticed a woman walking in front of me. She was about ten feet from the exit door. I also noticed a man who was already at the door. He was waiting for the woman, and kept the door open for her. As the woman passed him, something unexpected happened. She aggressively said, “Do you think I can’t open my own doors?” and she walked right by him. The poor man was in shock. I thought to myself, What a bitch!
So I go to the restaurant, meet my friends, and we have a great lunch. One hour later we’re having our espresso. Suddenly, to my surprise, the same woman enters the restaurant, accompanied by a man I assume is her boyfriend. When they come to their table, the guy pulls out her chair as she sits and slides her back in before seating himself. And she’s smiling and enjoying it!
I’ll be damned! What is going on here? Maybe she knew that other guy from the parking lot. Maybe he was a stalker. Maybe she was just in a bad mood at that time.
The point is, I will never know why she behaved like that. What I do know is that it made me confused.
And I’m not the only one. I can tell from personal experience.
For the past 20+ years I’ve been coaching introverted men to attract women naturally, without being someone they’re not.
I’ve noticed that today more than ever before, men are confused. They really have no clue how to behave with women anymore.
So I decided to write this post on The Good Men Project because good men are affected by this more than the bad guys are. It makes me sick to my stomach. Enough is enough!
Let’s set things straight once and for all.
The rules of attraction and dating have NOT changed.
They are still the same as before.
Women are still attracted to the same things they were attracted to before. And men are still attracted to the same things they were attracted to before. It’s not the case that millions of years of evolution-based attraction mechanisms have suddenly disappeared because we now live in the 21st century. They are still there, and the attraction triggers are still the same as before. We just have forgotten what they are.
There are several reasons for this.
1. Increased Divorce Rate
Because of the increased divorce rate, many men did not grow up with a father around and therefore lacked a male role model to teach them how to behave with women.
Women, on the other hand, still know how to behave with men.
That’s because even with divorce rates being up, women still had a mother to teach them how to behave with men.
2. Elderly People Not Living In The Home Anymore
Grandma and Grandpa don’t live in the home anymore like they used to.
Therefore, a lot of wisdom was lost between generations, including Grandpa’s wisdom about how to be a man and how to behave with women.
Religious programming has dulled our more primal basic instincts that know how to attract women. Think about it: since we were living in caves, we knew how to attract women. You are living proof of it. You wouldn’t be here if your ancestors didn’t have that skill.
4. Cultural Programming
Recent cultural programming is feeding the feminine imperative. Women are a big market. Advertising, media, and movies are empowering women, so they are spending more money. The side effect is that it’s simultaneously pushing men into a more feminine role.
But here’s the sad truth: both men and women are unhappy.
Men don’t know how to behave with women anymore.
But life for women isn’t better. They have another problem. They don’t know consciously what they want in a man anymore. But they still know it unconsciously.
Men, women…we are all confused these days.
Luckily, there’s one golden rule you can follow that will always tell you the truth.
I’m sorry to piss in your cornflakes like this, but I’m going to give it to you straight.
Here it is:
Never listen to what women say they want in a man. Look at who they’re sleeping with instead.
If you follow that advice, you’ll be successful at dating women, even in the 21st century.
No more confusion.
Here are three golden tips to be just macho enough in these turbulent gender role times:
1. Chivalry Still Works.
Opening doors for her, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, letting her walk in first if it’s a place she knows, etc.
Why does this still work to woo the ladies?
According to Wikipedia:
Chivalry, or the chivalric code, is the traditional code of conduct associated with the medieval institution of knighthood.
As you know, knights were part of higher-status elite circles. Women have always been attracted to high-status men, and for good evolutionary reasons.
By being chivalrous, you are high-status, which in turn triggers attraction within women.
2. Disagree With Her.
Most women want a strong man with his own opinions. Sadly, most men these days behave like wimps. The moment they meet a woman they like, they go into “agreement mode”. They agree with everything she says, and what’s worse, they even change their opinions to match hers!
Don’t do it. It’s a sign of low status, weakness, and a lack of options with women. After all, would a strong, high-status man with many options agree with everything a woman says? Of course not. He would have his own opinions and if he disagrees, he would tell her. Of course, he would always disagree with respect, but he would voice his opinion and stand his ground.
3. Touch Her and Physically Escalate.
If you think about what dating is at its core, you’ll realize that it’s just two people getting to know each other and physically escalating the relationship along the way.
So if you want to become a badass with women, you need to learn how touch a woman.
There are three kinds of touches:
- Social touch
- Seductive touch
- Sexual touch
It’s critical that you learn how to use all three of them, and it’s even more critical to know exactly when to use them.
If you want to know more about how and when to use escalating touch, or if
you want 100 more dating tips like the three you’ve just read, I’ve
included a killer bonus package for you in my bio below. Check it out now.
What are your thoughts on being just macho enough in the 21st century?
Share your feedback in the comment section below.
Photo: Getty Images