Serve, protect, provide.
This is the mantra, conscious or not, that drives the behaviors of many married men.
Ultimately, most men want to make their wives happy. So in that effort, he’s willing to overlook a lot of challenging behaviors from her.
Do you seek to make your wife happy?
If so, that’s great. But ask yourself for a moment, can you really “make her happy?” And if so, at what cost? And do you abandon yourself in the process?
By abandoning yourself, I mean, you take on behaviors from your wife – yelling, complaining, criticizing, dumping, venting, withdrawing, retreating, or other – that could be considered abusive and you abandon yourself to that abuse.
And maybe you accept those behaviors because that’s what you think it means to be a good man. That’s what you think will create less conflict and make her happy.
Do you take on abusive behavior from your wife? And how would you know what’s abusive and what’s normal marital conflict?
Check out this video for a simple quick gauge to determine if your wife’s behavior is abusive and more importantly 3 things to do to change her behavior.
Inside of you, your gut, your heart, you feel and know abusive behavior. But you may be playing the tough guy and not be willing to admit it.
You’re a dude. You’re a strong man. You don’t have needs, right? Wrong. Of course, you have needs – for trust, emotional safety, and respect. We all do.
And it can feel vulnerable and super hard to admit that your needs aren’t being met and then speak those needs to your wife, the one who has her foot on your neck.
At the end of the day, all human behavior, abusive or not, is an attempt to get needs met.
And when you get clear on your unmet needs, you’ll be in a better position to see how your wife’s behavior is just a reflection of her unmet needs and how you can meet them.
Own your behaviors, kindly call her out on her behaviors, and create the marriage you want. She’ll feel safer with you and love you for it.
Are you ready to stop abuse and create the marriage you want?
READ MORE:
Stop Blaming Her & Start Empowering Yourself
Get Past the Burden of Feeling Like a Failure to Her
How to Deal With Her Rejection
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Previously Published on stuartmotola.com
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