Surviving Suicide Becomes A Life-Long Passion For Making Others Feel Wanted

Two successful businessmen get real about suicide and how much it helps to help others.

—

In the most recent episode of the You Leading You Podcast, I had the honor of having Mr. Carl David on the show. Carl is a third generation art dealer (and has brought a fourth generation on with him) writer of many articles and books, a huge practitioner of “Paying It Forward” and a suicide awareness advocate. You can learn more about him here www.carledavid.com

Suicide Awareness and Prevention is an area that Carl is passionate about because of his own personal story and its affect on his family.  Carl, at the young age of 16, lost his older brother to suicide. Worse yet he lost him without any warning, there was no note, no tell tale signs, and to lose him at such a young age left a mark on Carl for years to come.  Then, only eight years later Carl lost his father to a massive coronary which pushed young Carl to the front lines of the family art business. Carl persevered knowing that he must bring the love and family values that were taken from him at such an early age, and bestow them upon his own family.

​This is a man who is deeply affected by suicide within his own family and even within his own seeds of doubt. We connected very well in this interview, partly because I actually opened up about my recent bout with depression and suicidal thoughts. I understood his journey, having faced something similar over the last few years, I realized that people very easily can become wrapped up in the weeds that are depression. Those weeds wrap around us and continue to drag us down until we think we’re drowning, but it’s only when we start to relax and understand that those weeds themselves are only being strengthened by pulling on them that we have a chance at survival.

​In the hopes of helping others, we need to realize the ease in which depression slides into our lives and can start to consume and overtake our daily thoughts adding in seeds of doubt for everything we do. Carl recognizes those emotions very clearly, and became an advocate to ensure that those fighting depression and suicide know they are not alone. The understanding that we have someone by our side can truly cut through the anchor that depression sets in.

I know as a business person as well as entrepreneur I have doubts. Doubts of my own capabilities, focuses and journey, as I am sure that you do as well. Today the one thing that I don’t doubt is that I have the responsibility of the outcome.

During our talk I opened up to Carl that I had hit a point where I said to myself, “Huh, I’m worth more dead than alive, my wife and kids will get the insurance,” and all that kind of alternate universe thoughts that come into play.

What stopped my from moving forward?

I told my wife.

It sounds simple, but the same logic that Carl uses to help others, by being open to them, was also true in my case. Once I communicated my depression, and my fear of what may come after it, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I wasn’t cured, but it was a start back down the road to a positive mindset. I talked to a counselor, I recognized my worth.

I began realizing the true cost of suicide. No, I don’t just mean paying for the casket, and paying for the therapy for my kids for the rest of their lives … well, maybe I do. You look at things very narrowly and don’t have a thorough understanding of what this death means. Not only the finality of it for you and the easy way out for you, but also the questions that are left within the families that are left behind. What could I have done differently? If given half a chance, could I have said something that saved my husband, my father, my sister, or my wife?

Emotional costs far outweigh the financial gains we think a life less lived was worth.

Thank you for having this conversation with me Carl, I know I am not alone, and if anyone out there thinks they are, know your fellow man is here to help.

We had a wonderful conversation, which you can listen to HERE.

Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?  
Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.

—

Photo: Getty Images