Your marriage is like a ship. You and your wife are the captains.
It is your responsibility to co-pilot the ship together.
And yet after years together, both of you let go of the wheel.
Have you captained the ship of your marriage?
If not, in time the ship hits a channel of rocks. And yes, that’s why we say, the marriage is on the rocks.
You struggle to get out of the channel. You crank the engine in reverse. You push off a giant pole. Nothing works. You feel stuck.
So then you do what most people do. You see a therapist.
Have you been to therapy for your marital challenges?
When we have marital struggles, the first place we often turn to is a therapist. It seems like the logical place to go.
You go on your own or with your partner. You talk about your challenges. You’re heard and listened to.
And yet do you get clarity on how to right the ship of your marriage?
The common complaint I hear from men regarding therapy is this. There’s a lack of direction.
“Therapy helped me understand what was going on in my marriage, but it didn’t give me any sense of how to change it,” a client of mine recently said.
Another client said, “There was no road map on how to make progress. And that’s what I wanted.”
Why does therapy feel so directionless to so many men?
Simply put, many therapists have a “problem” problem. They are more interested in the problem than a clear solution.
They don’t think in terms of roadmaps or strategies. In fact, they’re often suspicious of them.
And for many men, that leaves them feeling stranded without a raft.
Do you lack a clear action plan with your therapist?
Often we can ignore that. Because therapy can often feel good in the moment. Comforting even.
“Ah, I see what’s going on,” a man might say afterwards.
But twenty-four hours later, the thrill is gone, the insight fades, and his marriage stays stuck.
Is therapy keeping you stuck in your marriage?
Check out the video below to discover the ONE KEY reason why therapy keeps many men stuck in their marriage and what to do about it.
There’s one key thing that men know and trust. And this is particularly true of guys who have had success in their professional lives.
When the pay offs in an endeavor are clear and the blueprint is well-articulated, he’s much more motivated to stay in the game, be a part of the team, and go after what he wants.
And when he’s optimistic about the success he seeks, he gets inspired to step into action to change what is not happening in his life. And that’s doubly true of his marriage.
Do you want to get unstuck in your marriage?
Previously Published on stuartmotola.com and is republished on Medium.