Not beating your woman, but wish you could?
If you’d like to avoid the stigma that goes with abusing your family members, while still reaping the benefits of being king of your domain, check out this modern approach to manhood. Here, we borrow some tips from the power and control wheel of domestic violence, and skipping the outright felonious steps, you, too, can skirt the law, look like a badass, and dish it out like the men of old. Like James Bond! What’s more, it doesn’t matter if you’re whiny and unattractive: men who abuse their wives and girlfriends get the respect and favor that goes along with being a man, automatically, and so can you.
This is domestic abuse for the 21st century, in nine easy steps. Little effort required! No more swinging a thumb’s thickness of hickory for you! We’re modern men, with traditional values. And no more pesky, telltale bruises to show how you whip your household into shape to serve you better. Take that, Double-Oh-Seven!
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Be insecure…. If you don’t take a stand for your right to be a traditional man in your own traditional home, there’ll be nothing sacred left.
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Step one. Be insecure. The world is changing: women are in the workforce, and Mr. Mom’s at home with the kids, making dinner. Where are you, tough guy? Are you ferreting security blankets from the bottom of the laundry hamper for small fry with attachment issues? Or are you banging secretaries, showing up for dinner whenever the hell you feel like it, and, generally, just being a man? If you don’t take a stand for your right to be a traditional man in your own traditional home, there’ll be nothing sacred left. Every man in the new world order will have to fend for himself: make his own sandwiches and learn for himself whether he’s horny or confused or sad—and what to do about it all. There is no alternative to this: liberated women won’t have anything to do with a man like you.
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Don’t wonder how the word “abuse” came to be applied both to people and drugs.
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Step two. Don’t wonder how the word “abuse” came to be applied both to people and drugs. Don’t think about how abusers are capable of using a drug that makes them feel better in the short-term, even while routinely handling their problems in a way that is damaging to themselves in the long-term. You should particularly not consider the ramifications when, instead of a drug, the abused is capable of being victimized, like a wife or a puppy. Instead, continue regarding all non-men as products available for your comfort and pleasure: unfeeling, practically unlimited resources to use as you like. After all, you’ve earned it, just by being you: a man.
If you feel bad, there’s no need to figure out why: all you need to know is what will feel better. If a pill or a smoke won’t help, maybe a woman will. If sex isn’t the answer, you could degrade her until she feels as bad as you do. Won’t that feel good? At least in the short-term! Or you could just throw some pots around or kick a puppy or whatever the heck you want. All I’m saying is, don’t think about it. You might imagine that your inclination to abuse yourself, drugs, women, or all three at once is fueled by a yawning hole in your interior life where your emotional maturity should be, rather than just a fun, macho way to pass the time. And that’s no fun.
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Marry a woman who feels the same way you do about gender roles…. Make sure your woman has been raised to know her place in the home.
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Step three. Marry a woman who feels the same way you do about gender roles. The last thing you need is some uppity woman who’s going to challenge your authority or threaten to leave and support herself. Make sure your woman has been raised to know her place in the home.
It used to be a given that marrying a very young woman would eviscerate any insidious feminist thought. Since there are fewer traditional women in our culture than ever, know where to find those who remain, as well as the men who defend traditional manhood. Seek out workplaces, religions, clubs, and politics that preserve and celebrate man as the head of the family. Consider buying a bride from a really impoverished country, who’ll appreciate everything you do for her. Bro-tip: Whether you’re courting her the old-fashioned way or ordering her from an Internet catalogue, spend extra for a pretty, young, and docile bride: this will practically guarantee the respect of other men.
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Be a loner…. In fact, it might be better if you make your wife a loner, too.
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Step four. Be a loner. Even though you use your wife or girlfriend to comfort you when you’re sad or down on yourself, don’t take her into your confidence. You’re not her friend: she probably has some women-friends to talk to, and you’d better hope they’re the right kind. In fact, it might be better if you make your wife a loner, too.
Don’t listen to anybody else about how to conduct your marriage. A real man would never try to advise you on your private life, unless he thought you were a pussy who couldn’t handle his own affairs. You know what you need to know, innately, the same way your wife knows how to soothe a crying infant. It’s lonely being the only one around who’s right, but that’s your burden as a man. Suck it up.
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Consider emotional skills “women’s work.” You work hard to cultivate a public image of yourself as powerful, self-controlled, and mature.
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Step five. Consider emotional skills “women’s work.” You work hard to cultivate a public image of yourself as powerful, self-controlled, and mature. That’s the real you. At home, in private, you can relax your control. Since your family is an extension of your flesh and ego—part of you, really—whenever you’re with them, you’re effectively by yourself. Express your discomfort as loudly as possible, as soon as you’re aware of it, so your family can rally around you and see to your needs. Don’t even consider that anyone but a woman could possibly comfort you.
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Don’t learn anything about the work women do. Cleaning, cooking, taking care of people around the clock: none of this is natural to you, so it must be a natural trait of women.
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Step six. Don’t learn anything about the work women do. Cleaning, cooking, taking care of people around the clock: none of this is natural to you, so it must be a natural trait of women. It couldn’t possibly be learned, either by women or by men. Go on taking for granted that women want to serve you, live to serve you, and are available to you for that purpose. Don’t think of women as people like you, or their work as work like yours. You’re so obviously, completely different from a woman, you can’t possibly feel the same way about your self-esteem, the regard of others for the job—women? jobs? Ha!—you do, or pride in doing important work well.
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Teach your kids by example…. Make sure little Bobby knows what a woman is for…. Make sure little Susie learns to take her brother Bobby’s shit, so she’ll grow up to be a good wife to her own domineering husband.
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Step seven. Teach your kids by example. Don’t confuse your sons with talk of emotions and relationships. Don’t comfort your little boy if he’s sad or frightened: that’s not your job. Send him to his mother or, if they’re just visiting, to your girlfriend. Make sure little Bobby knows what a woman is for. In addition to comforting you when you’re hurt, make sure your kids know that when you yell at the woman in your life, it’s because she signed up for this. Make sure little Susie learns to take her brother Bobby’s shit, so she’ll grow up to be a good wife to her own domineering husband. It’s important that both you and the mother of your children impose appropriate gender roles on the kids, so if you catch your her interceding on Susie’s behalf in an altercation with her brother, make sure you get right in there and yell at everybody to lay off Bobby already. He’ll thank you for it.
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Take up space. Men are big: bigger than women, and much bigger than children. Men are biggest! Take that, women!
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Step eight. Take up space. Men are big: bigger than women, and much bigger than children. Men are biggest! Take that, women! Sorry, where was I? Sometimes I get caught up in being such a big man. But it’s what makes us the protectors, and you the protected. Men, wherever you go, take the space you need to be a man. And this isn’t only in your home and car, which are both your private, impenetrable spaces for doing whatever you like. This is when you’re out in the world, because abuse only starts at home. Your masculinity, which is rooted in your privilege to abuse, goes wherever you go. Whether it’s to throw some shit, wave and honk at other drivers, or get drunk and make passes at wait staff, do whatever you need to do to express your masculinity. Involve as many people as possible, and take as much time and space to do it as you feel necessary. Remember: this is about you. Whether you’re on the road or at home, it’s up to others to get out of your way or please you better. If it looks like someone’s not going to jump when you say to jump, show them your fists. Let them know you’re not afraid to turn anything into a physical confrontation.
Be willing to hit a woman or even a child, but only if they’re asking for it. And if you go too far, and decide you would like to make amends, make your apology as big as you are. Be grandiose, so she doesn’t forget how much you meant it when you said it. Refer to it the next time she complains, or any time you need to remind her of your generosity of spirit.
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Be loyal to the brotherhood. Make the effort to avoid conflict with other real men…because how another man sees you is infinitely more important than how your wife or children see you.
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Step nine. Be loyal to the brotherhood. Make the effort to avoid conflict with other real men. You need one another’s company and self-regard, because how another man sees you is infinitely more important than how your wife or children see you. Other men, not our wives and children, are the key to our happiness and success, because only men hold power. Remember where the power lies the next time you hear another man say something that sounds bullying, selfish, emotionally immature, violent, or uncivilized toward his wife or girlfriend, and mind your own business. If he’s a real man, he already knows everything he needs to know about being a man, and he can deal with his family as he sees fit. You can safely assume that he’ll figure it out on his own. Don’t think of his family first: the important person in this scenario is the man. Once he figures things out, they’ll be fine. It’s a trickle-down theory of happiness and success, and it’s proven. Look at all of those eons of men subjugating women. Could they all have been wrong? No, they’re men! An even if they were wrong, it still looks pretty awesome for us, anyway. We’re going to have to hold down the fort of traditional marriage together, as brothers, if only so you can still subjugate your own woman while there’s still time.
Remember these easy steps to being abusive, and no one will be able to challenge your God- given authority as a man again. Yes, it’s that easy!
—Photo pasukaru76/Flickr
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Oh wow. I get that you are trying to be satirical, that this was supposed to be a joke about patriarchy and the abuse of power and control…but I think it drastically misses the mark. Effective satire needs to offer an alternative, it needs to be very clear what message it is truly endorsing. This simply trots out awful stereotypes with wildy triggering abuse descriptions. You just said a whole bunch of horrible shit, and then that was it. There was no message, was no learning, was no alternative, there was no support given to how to exemplify true equality.… Read more »
I thought the article was very good. I move in progressive circles, but I still know quite a few men who are “that guy.”
I would like the author to write an article that showed more subtle forms of male chauvinism. The title would be something like “Nice guys who don’t mean to be male chauvinistic, but still make sexist remarks and get defensive when called out on them.”
Taylor wrote some very good posts, but I am so distressed by all the defensive, abusive, anti-feminist responses. Good men do not hate the feminist movement.
Wow. The guy who wrote this must be full of self loathing. I know lots of men and a few even validate some of the stereotypes here, but I can guarantee you none of them validate most of them. This is almost like a parody of an abuser, of “toxic masculinity” and it has about as much relevance to most men’s lives as Dancing With the Stars.
I read the article in hopes of learning something that might improve my (already very good) relationship with my wife. I thought the writer might have some interesting research or a new look at relationship dynamics that I could learn from. I was quite disappointed to find nothing insightful or remotely interesting. This article was insulting, angry and built off of stereotypes. The commentary is equally insulting. I especially like the people who tell me I must be an abuser if I didnt like the article- how charming. The author has no expertise or experience (from his bio) that gives… Read more »
Did you read the title: “How to Abuse your wife without really trying”? If you’re relationship is above that, read this for what it’s worth and move on…what’s the big deal? There is a lot of irony in the way you’re reacting. Let’s say this article was called “Learning to tie your shoes, in 3 easy steps”…but by golly you’re such a big man now, you scream “Hell, yeah I know how to do that already! I learned that 10 years ago. This stuff is child’s play…Mickey Mouse! Stop insulting my intelligence!!!”. CW, you’re relationship may be at a more… Read more »
CW says:
“I read the article in hopes of learning something that might improve my (already very good) relationship with my wife”
You read an article which was titled “How to Abuse your wife without really trying” to help improve your so called “already very good” relationship with you wife? LOL somethings not right there…..
The men who have issue with this article are probably *that guy*… They read the article about ‘abusers’ and then they thought it was man hating. *They* are the ones who equate abusive, boorish, violent, awful behavior with manhood. They have some stake in associating those things. If they didn’t display these characteristics themselves, they would not be offended. No where in the article does it say all men engage in this… NO WHERE. But they took it as an affront to all men? Why? Because they believe these things to be true about men, that it’s their right to… Read more »
Well, I read the article. I found it to be a poorly thought out, somewhat offensive, and childish rant against a stereotypical boogieman. In my opinion, this is a merely a polemic piece designed to whip up people who hold negatively biased views of men, The writer is a cheerleader. However, I do not, nor have I ever abused my wife. We’ve been married for 11 years, have 3 kids and have mutually supported each other through numerous tough times (death of a parent, mental illness of a parent, nearly lost a child, job loss etc…) We are partners. We… Read more »
I agree. I read the article and was stunned to find that I know quite a few men who are “that guy.”
It was a little disappointing, I will admit, to see how many people read this article and assumed I was talking about all men in this hyperbolic description of a traditional male who uses his masculine privileges to abuse. Even one of my close friends was unable to make that distinction.
One essay and one author are insufficient to the task of eradicating domestic abuse, or the patriarchy. It will take many different kinds of messages and epiphanies for all of us as individuals to change our world.
Ron Says: “Rene, don’t do that We have a lot of black males in the mens movement that are quite annoyed by privileged white feminist women that use black people and slavery as a rhetorical trick and to score points. Comparing white girl feminism and the civil rights movement is a blatant false equivalence. Most women chose gender roles, nobody chooses slavery.” Hi Ron, I am actually a black female and just like Taylor I am not from America; I am actually from Australia, so spare me the privileged white women stuff. I think you make up things as you… Read more »
This article was mildly amusing but ridiculously heavy-handed. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t know any men like this. I’m sure a lot of it was hyperbole to prove a point, but I just don’t think this is a huge problem because I truly only a microscopic number of men actually fall into the category described in the piece.
And really, honking at other drivers and swearing in traffic is bad? I don’t think that’s something specific to men. As I said, this was a little much.
Maybe you should look in the mirror?
I’ve read your posts before, and you seriously have a case of the ‘I am man; hear me and obey’ mentality. You act as though what you proclaim is ‘truth’… when in fact it’s just your opinion. And you do all you can to minimize other’s experiences or automatically discredit what they say if it doesn’t jive with your POV. You are very egotistical and often dismiss other’s posts without thought or concern.
You might *be* this guy.
So, if any critics arise it has to be the critic that’s f’d up and not the author’s ridiculous baiting article?
I’ll remember that next time I see a feminist criticising an article that puts down women.
The traits I point out in this article are not exclusive to men, and women can also be abusers: even rapists and murderers. Bu this article is directed at men, and is about the traits that our society nurtures in men that stunt their development and block their access to the tools they need for self-actualization.
Sorry to butt in, but hopefully you can clarify something for me. On the one hand, you state that this article “…Is about the traits that our society nurtures in men.” At the same time, in point three, you suggest that one these traits is the the desire to “Marry a woman who feels the same way you do about gender roles.” Am I correct in thinking that you are implying that seeking a partner with an agreeable outlook on gender roles is undesirable? Only that rather strikes me as – irrespective of what the outlook in question actually is… Read more »
Since this advice is given (satirically) to would-be abusers, I include the advice to seek a woman who will agree with you on a woman’s place and a man’s place. Having the same values reduces friction: this is not an unalloyed “good thing.” I would not go out of my way to advise a more egalitarian person to seek similar beliefs about gender, on the grounds that difference of opinion may positively broaden one or both people involved. Regarding the hickory stick: Since the core of my argument is that the masculine values I put forth here are sustained by… Read more »
Justin,
Many thanks for the swift reply, and for clarifying matters. As a small point, I suggest that it may be in your interest to add a footnote to the original article regarding the rule of thumb; while I understand your intent, I think others may also be confused on account of the province (or lack thereof) of said rule.
Thanks again,
~ DTE
can you maybe give me some pointers to those cases of spousal abuse? they are very relevant to a paper i am writing at the mo. much thx
Eric, Not to quibble, but: “The 15th amendment in 1870 gave black men the right to vote first. Women got the right to vote in 1919, a half century later. Even though former female, white abolitionists had organized and fought diligently alongside black male and black female abolitionists, several famous black male abolitionists abandoned the suffragettes in order to achieve their vote first. This caused a falling out between the two groups. Ultimately, black women, white women, and all women including those who had fought for abolition all had to wait a half century before getting the right to vote.… Read more »
Wow! I can’t believe how well this article described some men (and I use the term ‘men’ loosely). In a damn funny way too! What makes me laugh is the responses of some of the guys on here, its quite obvious one or more of the nine points have hit home and are clearly embarrassed that a MAN who is obviously secure of himself had the balls to openly state it. To the person who said female on male crimes of rape and abuse are higher than of males on women – You’re an idiot, and not fooling anyone but… Read more »
There will always be a backlash, remember. Don’t discredit them entirely, though. Though sometimes misguided, opponents can often become the best allies. Whether it be through finding out what most bothers them (and strengthening your point as to why they’re incorrect) or helping them dig deeper into their own standing. I view every info-slinging ‘MRA soldier’ as someone with high potential – if tempered – to be an agent of change for good. They’re simply not on the best path yet. I’m male, and a novice into feminism. I hope to someday be able to offer more insight on topics… Read more »
Rene, don’t do that
We have a lot of black males in the mens movement that are quite annoyed by privileged white feminist women that use black people and slavery as a rhetorical trick and to score points.
Comparing white girl feminism and the civil rights movement is a blatant false equivalence. Most women chose gender roles, nobody chooses slavery.
I think you’re reading too much into the rhetoric Ron. She is simply pointing out labels placed on certain groups which are made derogatory for one’s own agenda, similar to calling females “slut” for example. By the way, the world is changing…gender roles are changing too.
Fighting for equal rights (which is the basis of feminism) and voice in this male-dominated world – why does that threaten some men? Likewise, fighting to be freed from slavery – why did that threatened some men? Is this world not big enough to be shared???
Taylor
Its routine rhetoric for privileged white feminists to ride on the victimhood coat tails of black people. And feminism is not about equal rights anymore, its about advocacy for women with no end point or upper limit.
Ron, I don’t understand the race card you keep bringing up about riding on coat-tails of blacks. As I mentioned already I did not grow up in America, nor did I live in the original feminist movement which you’ve been damning so much. I’m of a different generation, I was uninfluenced by any American History or Black History or so called Feminist movement – I grew up half way around the world. You need to understand and be smart enough to know that feminists are not inclusive to America…they exist wherever there is injustice…and people migrant and emigrant to and… Read more »
Ron, sorry you are annoyed by privileged white feminist women, but I disagree with your perspective. Comparing feminist issues to slavery is neither rhetorical or exploitive – some of us simply identify with (race-related) civil rights issues because we can identify with being disenfranchised and marginalized. (This also goes for LGBT and other social justice issues.) It’s not “a blatant false equivalence” because most women did NOT choose our gender roles – we had our roles forced upon us. For example, in high school I wanted to take a music program (play guitar) but my counselors insisted I take typing… Read more »
Lyn
Have a read of what some of the other feminists here are saying about men. Most feminists and feminist doctrinal hatred, is the enemy.
How to be a good man: 1. Earn more than your wife. Spend all your money, but only on what your wife demands and not at all when your wife demands not to. This is necessary as women have been oppressed for so many years. 2. Don’t retaliate when your wife hits you. 3. Don’t retaliate when your wife abuses you. 4. Be a man, pay for your child but don’t be involved in his/her upbringing because you didn’t go through the pain of pregnancy. 5. Your wife wants to have sex – be a man and ‘grow up’. 6.… Read more »
Why is it that if you stand up for women’s rights you are anti men’s rights? Is this really a zero sum game?
Jem (are you a guy?) Women only got the right to vote in 1926…that’s not too long ago. To think back that we actually as a human race required a feminist movement to virtually slap people’s heads and demand voting rights for women is mind boggling. That just shows how change is ever so slow and any progress to improve the lives of women is often ridiculed by the same minds that have put women under oppression for years. Strong and intelligent, humane people and men will instinctively help to lift and empower women to be the best they can… Read more »
Incorrect.
White women got the right to vote 91 years ago in 1920, as a result of the 19th Amendment.
By contrast, black men and women didn’t get the vote until 47 years ago, in 1964. Feminists like to ignore that fact to minimize the plight of black men.
Eric,
Feminists do not ignore anything…don’t be so quick to judge. thank you for enlightening us with the black history…my ignorance is due to lack of knowledge of black history and not because i’m bigoted. I presume that all American schools teach black history? Don’t assume all feminists grew up in the American school system. I for one, am not from there. Black history facts are lesser known to most people, and that’s not due to bigotry…that’s due to lack of information and education.
In the UK, universal female suffrage came and couple of decades after that of male and its a irrelevant talking point.
And you are bigot, just read through your posts and look at your solid belief that men in general can benefit from an article about sociopathic behavior.
Yes that’s right – learning and education all ALL MEN CAN BENEFIT FROM.
This article seems incomplete…GMP should install a quiz to assess whether some people on here are indeed sociopaths! Ron, need to take it first.
Yes that’s right – learning and education all ALL MEN CAN BENEFIT FROM.
This article seems incomplete…GMP should install a quiz to assess whether some people on here are indeed sociopaths! Ron, hint hint.
Ananda makes very excellent points! It is easy to see how the weak-minded take offense to this article so easily and reactions likewise so predictable. The truth is sometimes ugly people! Stop griping and do something about it. Look in the mirror and make a change!
Bravo Elizabeth C. You’ve summed up things nicely!
This is a great piece, long overdue…it is not for the weak of mind. Thanks Justin C…for not watering it down and sugar coating to cover up for the “brotherhood”. For that, I admire your integrity as a writer.
SEXUAL ASSAULT PREVENTION TIPS GUARANTEED TO WORK 1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior. 2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone! 3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them! 4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited. 5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM! 6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room. 7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If… Read more »
A fun read. I’m not emotionally wounded by it though, as the insult-laced responses would have me feel. Clever satire has a landslide response, though I’m sure you’re not surprised what this sort of topic attracts… The swarm is always so delightfully aggressive. <3
Maybe Justin should stick to writing about food, bikes and queers. His grasp on what constitutes masculinity is somewhat vague.
In Defense of TGMP they don’t star chamber the message boards like so many other sites. Their harts are in the right place and because of this I have made it a point to stop masculine shaming my friends and nephews.
But, they should know better then putting crap like this out there. It reeks of indoctrination.
I’ve done my best to come to this site and learn at least some other points of view, but this stuff is just getting to be too much. Anymore I come here and I spend the rest of the day flashing back to some early 90s version of feminism that exists only in the academic setting any longer. I don’t think I’ve read an article in the past few months that didn’t condemn white people and men whether in the text itself or among the sort of commenters who frequent this place. The site has an agenda, it’s a sad… Read more »
Nah, I think men should take personal, adult responsibility of not raping, rather than blaming it on their penises or other people. I mean really. If you can’t stop yourself from commiting a crime, you should probably go turn yourself in now. Oh wait! I forgot. Children are raped too! Diapers are WAY to sexy for men to avoid. Oh and men get raped too? Their jeans too tight for you? Did they take off their shirts in public? You poor thing. BTW, you need to read up on the pay gap. It takes into account time off, job type,… Read more »
Wow Liz, you haven’t seen a study on rape that includes envelopment by the female as a definition have you? If you had, you’d know that women rape men as often as men do women and you wouldn’t be half the bigot that you are now, possibly. And this “Framing rape as a pre-dominately male-on-female thing to the point that all other forms of rape is an statistical abberation very much stops men from recognizing what happened to them as rape – not necessarily pathologizing them as victims, but to give them understanding and tools to process what happened in… Read more »
I have never seen a single credible study that proves women are just as likely to rape men as visa versa. From what I can tell, MRA’s play with shady statistics on this issue just as badly as feminists have often done, usually relying on surveys of college that end up categorizing every possible kind of unwanted sexual contact as “rape.” I really do not think that most men have to worry about being sexually assaulted by a strange woman who breaks into their apartment, or stops to “help” them after their car breaks down, or ambushes them in a… Read more »
Jill: Let me ask you this: If a female rape victim does not put up any physical resistance is she then not raped? There are a number of reason why men might not resist physically when a woman decides to puts his penis in her vagina, put her mouth around his penis, penetrates his anus with fingers or objects and so on. He might be too drunk to effectively defend himself, he might’ve been passed out or sleeping when it happened, she might threaten him like James Landrith’s rapist, she might be armed with weapons like a knife. None of… Read more »
Yes, obviously things like that can happen. The question is whether women rape men as frequently as men rape women. I do not believe there is any evidence of that. Also, what I am saying is that men are usually capable of physically resisting a forcible rape by a woman whereas most women can easily be overpowered by most men. A man can easily push a woman off of him whereas a woman can be pinned down by a man and can’t move. Women may not resist because they fear being injured by a larger, stronger or violent man. For… Read more »
So, let me see if I understand you correctly: If a man rapes a woman who is physically stronger than him then she hasn’t been raped unless she’s totally physically incapacitated, threatened with a weapon or unconscious?
Such a belief, regardless of gender, puts one at risk for not recognizing and respecting one’s partner’s lack of consent.
“The question is whether women rape men as frequently as men rape women. I do not believe there is any evidence of that”.
Here you go Jill
Predictors of Sexual Coercion Against Women and Men: A Multilevel, Multinational Study of University Students
3% of men reported forced sex (of which 2.1% was forced vaginal sex… this is in fact men reporting victimization by women) 22% of men reported verbal sexual coercion
By comparison, in the same study it was found that: 2.3% of women reported forced sex (don’t ignore the decimal point) 25% of women reported verbal sexual coercion
http://feck-blog.blogspot.com/search/label/Raped%20males
Liz,
How about women like yourself talking adult responsibility for your domestic violence, child abuse, sex crimes and false allegations ….. ?
Let me guess, adult responsibility is for men as a group but not for women as group, right?
Ron, are you calling Liz an abuser? I have seen your many comments on this article, Ron, and there’s just a couple things I need to say to you. The first and most important is this: if you have been abused, there are people who will listen to you and believe you, and there is help available for you to heal from the trauma. I genuinely care about the abuse of any person and the damage that it does to them their whole lives. The second thing is that this article is not about violent women. It would be beyond… Read more »
“It takes into account time off, job type, etc. ”
Wrong. There is evidence that your statement is not even close to factual.
The evidence that the wage gap is not as you say is that fact that, were it true, there would consistently be tens of millions of lawsuits against corporations, and HR departments would do nothing but unsuccessfully deal with that issue. Obviously, that is not the case.
If men are really concerned about violence towards them, they should be addressing the huge problem of other men attacking them. THAT’s where the danger is, boys, amongst yourselves.
This article is a joke. Just look at who it’s written by.
More misandry.
As far as DV is concerned, women are just as or even more likely to abuse men; however, their abuse is often considered not DV at all, not taken seriously even by the police. I can cite evidence.
Elizabeth . . . I agree with you. I also assume you agree that if women are really concerned about the pay “gap” or rape then they should address the huge problem of women leaving the work force and taking time off to get pregnant, and that they should address the huge problem of making poor choices when out at night, such as dressing like a slut, getting wasted, and then going home with a strange guy they just met.
Another example of the son of a second wave feminist showcasing his childhood socialization/psychological abuse.
What an incredibly condescending piece self flagellating crap.
“For those who wish to live in denial of the 5,000-year-old tradition of male domination in this, and all cultures” 1% of the ruling population is NOT a pattern or tradition of male domination. It also doesn’t exist anymore. Even in our democracy, women control 51% of the vote. “suggestion that female DV of male partners is remotely equal to, or as dangerous as men’s violence against women is absurd.” The science proves otherwise, but since you’re just an ideologue then you don’t care about science or facts. “Anyone who needs to cite fabricated statistics” a la Johnson, Jaffe and… Read more »
This article is clearly satirical, and I believe it to be entirely successful for those of us who understand the insidious means by which some men dominate. For those who wish to live in denial of the 5,000-year-old tradition of male domination in this, and all cultures, I’m certain it seems “offensive.” The suggestion that female DV of male partners is remotely equal to, or as dangerous as men’s violence against women is absurd. It rings to these ears like a white person insisting that “racism works both ways” to a person of color. Anyone who needs to cite fabricated… Read more »
This is typical Indian response. Since all Indians learn from their childhood that their culture is the worst culture in the world, they will flatly refuse to believe mere facts – facts that all domestic violence is almost always initiated by women, or that married men commit suicide several times more than women. And all in the name of ‘5000’ years were shit I am the only greatness born. Pathetic.
Maybe its me but I’m getting the feeling that this piece was an attempt at satire but not quite cutting it. My hopes for this piece fell through the floor as soon I saw that link to the Duluth Model but I will say that thankfully you are at least using it properly to talk about in a piece specifically about male against female abuse whereas everyone else tries to pass it off as THE model for violence despite the language in the wheel being heavily gendered. I’ll see if I can dig up the gender neutral version of this… Read more »
Satirical bigoty…hahahahahahaha. Bigots are funny!
DV is a worthy subject and needs discussed but this piece is terrible. It is irrationally hateful toward men, the vast majority of which would never lay a hand on a woman, even if she initiates DV (which is often how abuse starts), and offers no objective, factual information of any value on the subject of DV.