Two distinct individuals marry and promise each other to be at each other’s side in sickness and health, to be each other’s vigor and love each other for the rest of the life. Needless to express verbally, two bodies become one soul entwined in each other’s love and inundated with the incipient phase of life. But to cerebrate is it genuinely possible to leave aside one’s own individuality and make your marriage or relationship the epicenter of your life? It is verbally expressed that intimacy is the base of the relationship, then why does the charm evanesce within a year of Marriage? Why are there so many cases of divorces or marriage counseling? Affirmative, being transparent is good for a relationship, but isn’t space also consequential?
The need of the hour says, in order to grow and flourish one needs room to breathe and think beyond a marriage or relationship. Having one’s own identity in the marriage is the pillar that will avail the partners to communicate openly and be comfortable in each other’s company. If intimacy requires trust, reverence and communication, then personal autonomy gives each partner time and space to miss the consequential other and value the relationship even more. So if you feel your relationship is juggling between intimacy and independence and it has become a constant struggle, then these tips will avail you to strike a balance:
Negotiating the need for personal space: The initial months of any relationship are magical and the love nest denotes the world, but the fact is two people from different backgrounds, different dreams and aspirations converge. They still have their dreams to consummate and need their personal space to brainstorm, meet their peers or friends and of course, simply have a life beyond the relationship. The key here is a felicitous negotiation between the couple. If the concept is limpidly communicated and a mutual decision has been taken after reassuring the partner that their independence will not harm the relationship then a moiety of the life is sorted.
Taking initiative to maintain intimacy: Where did all the magic go? This is the most prevalent question amongst couples, but it is consequential to understand that for men if intimacy betokens physical intimacy, then for women it is more of romance or affection. It is paramount for both the partners to ascertain that they consummate their partners needs for intimacy and women should actively initiate to keep the charm alive.
Undertaking responsibility: Be inclined to take the responsibility for the house or other chores and even your partners when he requires his personal space. When your man is in his cave, it should be his woman’s responsibility to be patient and understand his needs to be solitary and vice versa. Understand one thing, it takes two to tango, and no relationship can work if only one takes the responsibility.
Respond to overreaction: Your one positive response can preserve a cognation and your one negative reaction can scar it. It is important to control the emotional impulses and respond to your partner by listening to him or taking or his/her needs rather than justifying your reaction.
Marriage or relationship cannot work only on intimacy or liberation. It requires both the things to move ahead in a positive direction, so one should definitely have salubrious communication with their partner and find their way to a blissful marriage.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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