I have seen a variety of victims be hurt by a variety of ruthless people, but with a similar pattern to the behavior. This is presented from the perspective of the one looking to feel powerful at the expense of another soul:
First, I choose the right victim. Typical people are quite boring. I either prey on someone I perceive to be quite beneath me and/or I go to the other extreme and prey on someone others perceive to be quite powerful. Either way, I puff up their ego, show a nearly-excessive-but-not-quite level of enthusiasm for the goings on in their lives, ingratiate myself to them at prime opportunities, and then when they least suspect it I use my words and/or nonverbal behaviors to express disgust that they would think I would ever associate with the likes of them.
Also, I feel a tremendous amount of internal pain but I prefer to deny that so to feel powerful I try to inflict as much pain as I can on others. I hurt! I will make you hurt, you will come to down to my level, you will choose the same coping behaviors as me, and you will learn that I am the true victim. I will have successfully educated you on what it is like to be me and why no rules apply to me anymore. I may ultimately feel small on the inside, but you will know my power and how capable I am of inflicting that smallness on you. You had better put me on the pedestal where I belong no matter how I treat you.
Next, I always play the victim when my victim acts like a victim. When someone calls me out on my behavior or blames me for the pain they feel, excuse me, I am the victim. You are ungrateful for not recognizing the privilege of me associating with someone so beneath me and my superior intelligence. Instead of being upset that I rejected you, you should be grateful you had me around as long as you did.
Furthermore, in certain circles I use “God” to cover for myself. People of faith who others may view as “good” are always letting each other know they are praying for each other and that God loves them so in order to appear as one of these people, some blessings and encouraging quotes are used. I am smart enough to know that you had better be good AND evil to survive. Using God’s name to manipulate people is just how it is.
Finally, somewhere within myself I know that I am not doing the right thing. As much as I get a high off of being cruel to others, somewhere within me I am paranoid that I will be found out. I constantly teeter between superiority and frailty and I dread anyone having any insight into that frailty. You are the one who is frail. If you were so strong and so smart you would not have gotten played by me and it would not have hurt you so much. I deflect and I survive by whatever means suits me in the moment. That is how I’ve got this.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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