At the mention of Tinder, most people roll their eyes. Yet, the reality is that online dating works. Facts show that more than half of Americans (54%) report that relationships which start on dating apps and websites are just as successful as those that begin in person.
Great news for the single-and-searching folks!
But did you know that more men than women use online dating platforms? Clearly, there are more bees than flowers in the dating scene. What does this mean for a guy? You need to put on your A-game and polish up a few elements if you want to attract your ideal woman.
So how exactly do you set yourself apart from the hundreds of jokers?
Today, you’ll learn how to properly sell yourself charmingly and invitingly, making you stand out in the sea of guys. Even better? do so without revealing too much about yourself. Here we go.
How To Sell Yourself in a Way That Draws Her In.
Let’s face it; It’s an uphill climb to promote yourself properly when the woman you want can’t see you, much less decide she wants to be with you. Right? Here’s where marketing yourself comes in. Yes, marketing. You need to reveal your most attractive elements, strengths, and whatever sets you apart as an individual.
What do your friends compliment you on? This is what you want to put out there. You do this through your profile. This is where ladies scan to get an idea of how you look, who you are, what drives you, and how compatible you are with them.
It’s also the part where you let your ideal woman know what you have to offer. Because whether or not we admit it, relationships are steered by one big question, “What can you offer me?”
So, highlight your charming traits upfront. This isn’t the time to be modest; play on every strength you’ve got.
Are you a people person who enjoys making friends and offers fantastic company?
Are you a curious person who always tries new things and therefore never has any dull moments?
All these unique aspects draw your woman to you. She wants to know that her life will be thrilling and rewarding with you in it because two should be better than one.
Focus on What You Have To Offer Her, Not What You Want.
When dating, it’s easier to focus on what you want but if you want to attract your lady, focus on what you have to offer. Instead of saying:
“I’m looking for an attractive, fun-loving mature man ready to settle.” Say,
“I’m a hands-on, family-oriented gentleman with a knack for cleaning and organizing stuff.”
What this tells a woman is:
A) She doesn’t have to clean up after you. (Super attractive, Yaay!)
B) She can expect marriage somewhere down the line. (You’re serious)
C) She can expect a supportive partner. (Life will be awesome with you!)
Show me a woman who doesn’t want this.
But Also, State What You Want Upfront — It’s All About How You Say It.
When my pal Dennis signed up on Bumble — where he met his lady— he wrote:
If you enjoy snuggling with a furry friend, we might just have an awesome time rolling on the grass at the dog park!
Essentially, he stated three things: 1) He had a dog, 2) wanted a woman who loved dogs, and 3) spent some of his time taking his furry friend to the park. Most important: He wanted a woman who loved dogs.
It may not seem like much, but it was crucial to say this upfront because not everyone wants a dog! In the dating world, it’s incredibly vital to say what you want. Many men make the mistake of not stating their wants upfront only to wind up attracting women whose priorities aren’t aligned with theirs.
This is where things get sticky, and dudes end up back to square one.
The best thing about stating what you want on your profile is that it weeds out ladies who aren’t compatible with you.
It’s normal to think that attracting more women increases your chance of meeting The One. Not true. When your inbox is flooded with messages, it’s impossible to suss out the high-quality woman. So, the narrower your search criteria, the higher your chances of finding a quality lady.
The Best Way To Say What You Want.
When you’ve been hurt before, it’s easy to have your guard up. It’s why most people have phrases like, “No Jokers! Or “Serious seekers only.” Such statements do more harm than good.
One, they can reveal a lot about your history and not in a good way. If you’re saying, “No jokers,” she’ll be tempted to think you’ve got a history of attracting jokers. Is it something about you or a mere coincidence?
Two, not only is the tone condescending — no one wants to go near someone like that — but it isn’t attractive or inviting, and you might end up repelling potential lovers.
What can you do? Say the same thing differently.
“No jokers” can be: “Seeking a genuine, commitment-minded woman.”
When it comes to relationships, far more critical than what you say is how you say it.
Let Your Pictures Speak for You
Pictures speak more than words. In addition to your profile description, display photos that show your face and a sneak preview of your life. We’ll get to that in a moment. The first photo your potential woman wants to see is that of your entire face.
You can learn a lot about someone by looking at their face. A person’s eyes especially, tell a lot about their character. For example, a particular stare could mean one is a freak. For most women, studying a man’s face stirs their gut feeling, and they use this to deduce traits they need to know about you.
If the face matters so much, what’s a man to do?
As someone who loves taking photos, here are three tips to taking great pictures of your face:
- Lighting is everything. Natural light is best because it kills unnecessary shadows.
- To project your best image, never take a photo when tired. It makes you look older, stressed out, and unhappy. I’m yet to meet a lady who wants a man with a dull life. Have you?
- Photos taken mid-morning are best. You don’t look sleepy or tired. It’s the perfect face.
Next, be creative with your photos. Inject some action. Use your limbs to move or pose. Don’t just stand against a wall. Leave that for your passport photos. You can do better.
Also, since your potential special someone wants to know what they’ll be walking in by being with you, post pictures that align with who you say you are in your profile. It’s your golden chance to build trust. If you say you love nature and adventure, show a photo of you hiking. If you love making friends, add a picture of you and your mates having fun (if they’re okay with it)
Also, the type of pictures matter a great deal. You might be super proud of your abs, what sits between your legs, and might even love flaunting them, (Yup, people do this) but this is neither the place nor the time. You don’t know the other person yet, and sure, this display might draw her in, but it can also turn her off.
Why take that chance?
One more thing, you need to know the magic number: A single picture doesn’t do justice in revealing who you are. On the other hand, uploading too many is letting on too much too soon. A minimum of three pictures and a maximum of five is the magic number.
A little secret: Switch your pictures around once a week. You never know which one will capture the attention of your queen!
If you’ve been on the fence about online dating, it’s time to take the plunge. Sure, there are lots of weirdos online, but aren’t there enough of those in the real world too?
Many guys have met and their significant others online. And you can too. Here’s how to put on your A-game so that you stand out:
- Highlight your charming traits upfront.
- Focus on what you have to offer, not what you want. But also…
- State what you want upfront — it’s all in how you say it.
- Let your picture reveal who you are and a sneak preview of your life.
Good Luck. You got this!
This post was previously published on Medium.
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