We are all born with love.
You may have come from a dysfunctional family that didn’t teach you the best ways, and then you changed your views about love.
Your family’s influence may have harmed you or hurt your growth along your young life’s journey. Or they may have showed you unconditional love, where you may have learned you don’t need others to complete you.
If you have love scars or emotional baggage holding you back, you may still need to re-learn how to love yourself to become functional, healed or whole in the love department. Or you may have turned out better from your possibly crushing past situations (living what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger).
In any case, the good news is you’re still here and trying!
Above that, you have the chance for your best life now, and ahead of you with a love far greater than you can imagine.
It’s good to check in now (and from time to time) to see if any of those old wound feelings have resurfaced in a recent hurt, such as a recent rejection or a conversation with an estranged family member that reminded you of those hurts that may never have received a proper internal burial service or formal apology.
Learning to forgive others will transform your life. If there is anyone you harbor resentment or unforgiveness, making a point to change that, frees you.
In most cases, the offender should’ve known better, but didn’t. Decide to believe that, even if that’s only partial truth. Your healing soul will appreciate your moving on.
You can stop receiving (and giving) uninterrupted love from happening, if you can’t fully love yourself. You don’t want to get in your own way.
3 Steps to Restore Love Back Into Your Life For Everyone
1. Make your daily intention love.
After you start your day (wake up, shower, coffee, etc.), in your self-talk or prayer time, state one of your intentions for your day to love and receive love. Be fully conscious and not half awake, so you can gauge your feelings and witness your intention for the day.
Even if you’re feeling down, state your loving intentions, so you can allow for any hidden love feelings, to make a come back.
Hidden feelings are like clouds that need to clear. Underneath the thick cloud, there’s a blue, sunny sky just waiting to burst through. Clear skies show up when you least expect, when you’re busy or when you happen to see the stars and moon.
If you set your intention for the day to find love, you can purposefully attract love. You may not see an immediate relationship if you’re single and that’s your desire, but you can see in another immediate way from a barista smiling handing over your coffee, or a coincidental text from a friend.
2. Love gets restored when you love yourself.
If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love others long-term. As just a matter of time, your feelings below your skin will surface one day.
Practicing self-care, feeling attractive, reminding yourself about your achievements, and having a happy outlook on your future and what you have, help bring back loving feeling.
Find ways to have a happy day. When you’re happy, serotonin and endorphins release. Joyful people are kind and show love to themselves. With your glow and smile on your face, you are open to the world, and attract love.
3. Find something in your life to show love, have compassion for, and be passionate about.
Having love, compassion or passion for an idol is unhealthy, blocking love that comes from the heart. Authentic love is real and never dies.
The word love is used too casually in the English language — and for everything. We love ice cream. We even love heart emoticons, and that we get to sleep in tomorrow. These are actually likes and enjoyments.
We use the same word to describe sentiments for our near and dear family or spouse/partner (where love has deep meaning).
Find places to apply your love.
Show love to one that has a heart. You could show love to a pet, friend or a family member if you’re single. If you’re in a relationship, find others besides your partner, to exhibit some form of friendship love.
When you are lovely/charming, practice good self-care, and your love attitude shows inside and out, you can attract love like a boomerang. You’re ready and waiting for a love to birth.
Show compassion — feel for others (a group) outside of your immediate world that have experienced a loss. Practice sympathy. Try not to label until you have empathy and know another’s story. An arbitrary label may not be accurate or one they hold themselves to.
Have a passion — feel for a cause and an activity that you participate in. Get immersed in a passion, to get loving feelings beyond a human being. You experience love in other capacities.
If you take the 3 doable actions above, you can manifest a partner relationship love into your life (the highest form of love).
If you believe you can activate karma experiences, a miracle or loving occurrence can manifest in your life.
You have the ability to bring love in your life, by your belief. You start by stating your intention (step 1 above), but your conviction makes it happen. When you deeply believe, you can manifest and attract love into your life.
If your goal is to meet your Soul Mate (The One), be careful what you ask for because you may one day. Like your destiny or purpose, you may not have come across this person yet at 30 years of age (so stay in belief).
Or you may have met this person already. The Soul Mate comes back to your heart and mind, is the One you (or they) let get away. The One can become the love of your life.
The One would be the most fulfilling person in your life and you would come together when your lives are aligned. Your union can be immediate after you meet, or you may take time to form (e.g. you met when you were younger and reunite).
They are spiritual growth partners for a life time. They can show up in a life turn and stick through the twists.
Spiritual Growth Partners
All spiritual growth partners are not all Soul Mates.
Spiritual growth partners are your life teachers. The relationship can last for a season, years, or a life time (if your Soul Mate). The deeper relationship purpose is to help heal you into a better person, so you can become a more evolved person by yourself, and as a couple.
When you say down, they may say up, and they may challenge you to figure out how to work through getting to their up. Your rising to the occasion may not be easy, but the most rewarding as you grow.
These partnerships show a mirror to you of all your deep wounds and places that haven’t healed. They make you show up and grow up, to stay in relationship existence.
Compatibility isn’t the reason for your couple hood. These partners can be opposites in many ways or your wounds clash with their personality or communication style. But life together gets easier as you learn each others’ differences, and don’t have to revisit.
For example, if one partner is always punctual and the other one is always late, the on-time one has learned to adjust plans to expect the partner’s tardiness. The couple doesn’t continue to butt heads on their differences, as they grow and accept the other person for who they are, and change their own perceptions to stay together. They meet somewhere in the middle.
Whether you choose to do life with a spiritual partner or another easier love companion, you can restore love in your life, when you give love.
Start today by giving love to yourself (if you have been feeling down). And feeling loving in other internal spaces and places (with passion and compassion).
And then when you least expect, a new love arrives from your loving actions you’ve been working on.
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Previously published on Medium.com.
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