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With all the ways to deceive people while online dating, this is the latest one making its way through the internet as of late. Hat-fishing is defined as a guy who either wears baseball caps in his online profile and/or wears baseball caps on dates to conceal baldness. Yes, this is a thing.
As an online dating photographer here in San Francisco, this seems to be more prevalent than in other markets where people are less likely to get away with wearing baseball caps due to lack of sports teams in the area, lack of start-ups companies with lax dress codes and few places to spend so much of one’s time outdoors hiking, at the beach or in the sun. A guy can justify wearing a baseball cap often because of the culture here in San Francisco unless he is an investment banker, hates the outdoors, frequents fine dining establishments and wears his cap despite the thick layers of fog these days as evident in Fogust.
What can you do to find out if you are being hat-fished? Ask you match or date to take off his hat and show off his haircut. There is nothing wrong with asking. If you do not want to be direct, nudge him into joining you in the ocean for a dip, go to a restaurant that is a bit more upscale or has a dress code or better yet, ask him to a baseball game and see if he removes his hat during the National Anthem!
I am not advocating being shallow and dismissing a guy based on his hairline but at the same time there is something to be said for a guy hiding something like this from a date — lack of confidence or possibly a longer list of hiding things about himself.
Guys — If you lack photos without a hat then you need to address that. When working with men who are bald or are balding, I typically recommend taking a razor to their scalp or at least seriously consider some other hair growth alternatives. Guys look better bald and once he commits to it, he has no other alternative than to embrace the new look. Additionally, in an online dating world where women are swiping on dozens if not hundreds of men, she is less likely to swipe right on you if she cannot see how you look like and cannot tell if she is being hat-fished.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
Great advice. Can I as well ask my date to remove her shirt to verify she is not wearing a pushup bra to try and deceive me…?
What about high heels? Nylons? Different forms of slimming or enhancing clothing? Even make-up?
Heels – Once you are in front of the person, you can see if she is wearing heels.
Makeup – Same as above.
Pushup bra – This is different from the above two examples but in all honesty, many guys do not care about these things and in fact like when women wear makeup, wear heels and put on pushup bras. Additionally, those can be viewed as enhancements were hats are meant to cover up something completely.