What a 57-year-old man learned about love by celebrating his birthday.
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Yesterday culminated the ending of my long weekend birthday celebration. It was incredible, and I’ll tell you why. My wife Rachael does not believe in celebrating just one day for your birthday, she turns the birthday celebration into celebrating the individual birthday and celebrating a long birthday weekend.
Just from her I received eight birthday cards. No one has ever gotten me a birthday cards before. Each card hit home; carefully hand selected to reflect something she wanted to say to me. She’d obviously spend hours finding them, because they were so personal that each could have been written by her. She took me to three birthday dinners, we went shopping, and visited several historic sites in the area of Pennsylvania where we live.
How often do we celebrate our victories, and the fact that we are fortunate enough to find someone who truly loves us? Shouldn’t we celebrate the people that mean the most to us of all?
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We have only been married for 19 months, but since we have been together we have made it our priority to totally and completely celebrate each other’s birthdays every year. She always takes off work on the day of my birthday and I do for hers as well because it is the most important thing we can do for one another. Those days off are sacred and non-negotiable. So why do I mention these personal experiences about my birthday? I think there are some valuable lessons to learn in celebrating the one you love.
Lesson #1– We should celebrate. When I say we should celebrate, here’s what I mean. My wife and I have often talked about the fact that many times people face adversity throughout their life. We all face life’s disappointments, ups and downs, we trip and fall and things don’t always go the way we want them to go. We fail. However, how often do we truly celebrate each other, love and life? How often do we celebrate our victories, and the fact that we are fortunate enough to find someone who truly loves us? Shouldn’t we celebrate the people that mean the most to us of all? So why don’t we?
Lesson #2- Life is too short. I was once a widower. I lost my wife after 32 years of marriage so I’m someone who knows that life is short because I lived it. I learned that a life can change overnight in a completely unexpected and tragic way. That was a very poignant and valuable life lesson to learn. Life is not guaranteed and time with the one you loved is not guaranteed either.
I am 57 years old, and to be completely blunt I don’t know whether I’ll live to be 80 or 100. I hope so, but I don’t know so. So if life is truly short than it is important to celebrate the one you love and to celebrate the life that you have with them every single day, every single hour, and every single minute. And on special days make a special point to show them how much you love them.
Lesson #3-Imagine how it makes your loved one feel. I can tell you that this weekend I felt like the most loved man on the planet, most celebrated man on the planet, the most blessed man on the planet, and I truly felt how much my wife loves and appreciates me, because she was celebrating me. She made sure that I knew that each day was up to me and what I wanted to do. On occasion I would ask her if she always likes to go to this restaurant? She would then say, “Oh no this is your special birthday celebration you must decide.” Just so you know he goes in both directions — on her birthday we also do a long weekend and I celebrate her.
Sit down and think about what you can do to celebrate the one that you love, it may be a birthday, an anniversary, a special commemoration of a certain date that means a lot to them.
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The reality is that when she celebrates me and I celebrate her we are also truly celebrating us. Think of what would happen if you decided to celebrate your loved one’s birthday in the biggest way possible? Giving your all, giving your best, giving your heart, giving your time, giving your love, giving gifts that you lovingly collected especially for them and only for them — imagine how that would make them feel. I know how it feels and it is impossible to describe.
Lesson #4- I don’t want to live with regret. I often think about the later years of my life. In those golden later years of life, I imagine myself sitting in a rocking chair somewhere on the porch looking over a valley watching the sun go down. The breeze is fluttering gently across the tops of trees and birds are gliding on the blue sky. Here is what I know; I know that at that moment I don’t want to say that I didn’t celebrate the one that I love, in the way that they should have been celebrated, when I had the time and the place to do so, when they were still able to hear me and see me. I will not have regret in my heart and my mind, my soul will be filled with joy to know that I loved and I loved fully.
So as I write these words there’s something I want you to do, it would mean a lot if you do it for me. It would mean even more if you do it for yourself and for the one that you love. Sit down and think about what you can do to celebrate the one that you love, it may be a birthday, an anniversary, a special commemoration of a certain date that means a lot to them. It may be a celebration of something they’ve accomplished recently that you just never seem to find the time to acknowledge or celebrate in the way that it should have been celebrated. When you are man enough to take that action you will find love unbound and fountain of joy that will fill your heart.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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