I’ve been writing this column for the Good Men Project for almost two years. I’ve written original pieces for this site every week since May of 2016. And recently, I’ve been writing more than one piece a week.
These peasants aren’t going to expose themselves.
Yeeeeeah, that above sentence didn’t read like I thought it’d read.
In other words, I’ve written many thousands of words for this site. And it has been a privilege to do so.
And the best pieces I have written for this site have been when I don’t overthink the material and subject.
I attempted another angle on this idea earlier today. And it wasn’t working.
I love to see people taking the new energy of the new year to make some changes in their lives. I really do. But I question the motivation.
|
I’ll be the first one to tell you, I was being a little too life-coachy.
I think it’s time to address you as not as Coach Ryan. But as Ryan the man.
So, I sat here writing about “setting intentions” for the new year. Making declarations and making commitments.
I’m no meditation teacher. I’m no yoga teacher. Hell, I’m the guy who farts in yoga class.
Who I am, is a guy who talks to people about their lives and supports them to make their lives better. You want to set your life on fire, I’ll hand you the lighter. You just have to light it.
Side note: what’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s very heavy and the other’s a little lighter.
Oh God, did I really just put a Fozzie Bear “Waka! Waka! Waka!” joke in this article?
I need to get complete.
◊♦◊
Now, where was I?
Oh yeah: new year, new me.
I’ve been a gym rat for many years. My favorite fitness enterprise is going in and lifting heavy weights over and over again.
I’m a sophisticated, transformed guy. But I go caveman in the gym. It’s a hell of a feeling.
If you walk into a gym in January, you may notice that a few more people are there. And for the veterans of the iron paradise, a few things may happen.
- You may not be able to find a locker.
- You may get a locker beside the octogenarian who doesn’t believe in towels.
- There may be a longer wait for benches and equipment.
- And you may be looking for barbell clips, but some $@#$@! January newbie put clips on a bloody SMITH MACHINE!
In other words – resolutioners are running wild.
I love to see people taking the new energy of the new year to make some changes in their lives. I really do.
But I question the motivation.
Are you going to the gym because you love and respect your body? You want to move your body in a healthy way and do so because you love yourself?
Or…
Are you crying yourself to sleep because you hate that you’re wearing bigger pants? You hate yourself that you can’t climb a flight of stairs without wheezing and grabbing your knees out of exhaustion.
I use the fitness analogy, but it’s not the only one.
- Do you want to stop smoking because you love yourself and want to live a healthier lifestyle? Or do you want to quit smoking because you’re sick of smelling like an ashtray all the time?
- Do you want to create a romantic relationship because you love yourself and want to share that love with another person? Or do you want to create that romantic relationship because you’re scared you’re going to turn into a crazy cat lady? And you’re a man? And you need someone to love you because you don’t love yourself?
There are many more I could list here, but do you see my point?
I want to re-frame the New Year’s Resolution. I’d like to re-frame resolutions as intentions.
What is your new year’s intention?
Let me lay out a couple ways that you can approach this. This isn’t an either/or but a both/and.
- Create a theme: you can create a theme for the year. Some people take a word or a concept and make that their theme for the year. For example, my themes for 2018 are magic and truth. Creating magic by tapping into my intuition and my heart more often. And owning and sharing my truth with the world.
- Who do you want to be? The keyword – BE. What type of person do you want to be in the new year? How do you want to show up? For me, I want to discover, own, and share my truth. I want to treat myself and my world with respect. And I want to be, share, and accept love wherever possible.
As I have mentioned in this space before – y’know, like, a lot – I have a complicated relationship with my body. It’s a rare time when I see myself I the mirror and think – yeah, he’s hot.
I don’t look like I want to look. If I looked like I wanted to look, I’d have a body like Ryan Reynolds, not Ryan Hall.
I never had hope that I was going to look like a Greek God. I never had the hope of standing on a bodybuilding or physique competition stage.
But I don’t work out for that reason. I work out because I enjoy it. I work out because I enjoy living a healthy lifestyle.
I do it because I love myself. And that’s why I keep going back day after day.
I also feel like a badass when I hit a personal record deadlift like a I did a couple weeks ago.
Who I am, is a guy who talks to people about their lives and supports them to make their lives better. You want to set your life on fire, I’ll hand you the lighter. You just have to light it.
|
My intention is to live a healthy lifestyle. And that’s what keeps me going back day after day.
When it comes to setting an intention for a new year, consider the words of blues guitar icon Duane Allman. On January 1, 1969, the man called Skydog pulled out his notebook and wrote down his resolutions. He was all of 22 when he wrote this. If I’d let my soulfulness shine like this when I was 22…
“This year I will be more thoughtful of my fellow man, exert more effort in each of my endeavors, professionally as well as personally. Take love wherever I find it, and offer it to everyone who will take it. In this coming year, I will seek knowledge from those wiser than me and try to teach those who wish to learn from me. I love being alive and I will be the best man I possibly can.”
Three months later, he calls his brother Gregg who is working in California to start rehearsals with a new band he’d put together in Florida. He needed a keyboardist and singer.
Whatever happened to that band?
Do you want to create a powerful 2018? Do you want to create lasting intention in the new year?
Email me at [email protected] and we can set up a free sample coaching session to see how I can support you to do just that.
◊♦◊
Two quick notes:
- Episode one of Be a King is available on iTunes and Google Play. Let’s start that conversation about how the world can start working again.
- Sign up for my Coach Ryan’s Corner newsletter. Text “teamryan” to 22828 and reply with your email address. For opting in, you get a 3-part video series outlining just how you can be a king in the world, what being a king means, and who a king is. Much more coming, so stay tuned.
Photo by Edgar Alfonseca