Is your tech obsession hurting your sexual connection with your partner?
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Technology can be either your relationship’s best friend, or its worst adversary. In its best use, everyday tech can help you stay connected to your partner in unique ways that were not possible before its advancement. However, the harsh reality for many couples is that excessive use puts a damper on their libidos.
To be more specific, 32.5% of Americans polled in a recent study said they would surrender their sex lives for a full six months in exchange for internet access. Although many critics say that the rise in popularity of internet pornography among men is to blame here, the fact that women in the same study were 28% more likely to choose the internet over sex shows that men aren’t the only ones to blame here.
So rather than point the finger of blame at yourself or your partner when your sexual connection seems to be falling a bit flat, why not try engaging in a tech detox together to reset your priorities and boost your chemistry? Here are four ways your sexual connection stands to benefit when you vow to drop the iPhone for a few hours after work in 2016.
- You feel more appreciated
A new study from Brigham Young University concluded that couples who reported that their interactions with their spouses were often interrupted by tech also reported significantly higher reports of relationship conflict and dissatisfaction. Additionally, the study found that greater levels of tech interference in relationships were tied to higher levels of depression.
It’s hard to get “in the mood” when you’re less than happy with your partner. Add on feeling unappreciated, and the chances of feeling up to getting frisky are slim to none. Taking some time away from your phones will help you and your partner lend one another the focus you both deserve and need in order to feel important and appreciated in the relationship.
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- You have more patience
The internet has given us the gift of instant access to information, entertainment, and gratification anytime and anywhere. Although this is a fantastic gift for work and studies, it’s made us all a bit impatient when it comes to real, human interaction.
Your partner may not always say the right things or have the most interesting points of discussion, but that doesn’t mean the time you spend in casual conversation one another isn’t important. By resisting the urge to take out your phone for instant entertainment, you can actually solidify your bond by gaining the ability to simply be with the person you love without needing to be constantly entertained. When you strengthen this bond, it transfers to all aspects of your relationship, including your sexual connection.
- Social pressures are lifted
In 2014, the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (AAFPRS) reported that plastic surgeons were seeing an increase in requests for cosmetic procedures as a result of social media sharing and the spotlight it places on how its users look. Even if you haven’t sought surgical solutions to restore broken confidence after scrolling through your feed, looking through the highlight reels of others could still be taking a larger toll on your self-esteem than you know.
If you think about it, seeing the hunky actor’s pictures your partner has “liked” on Instagram or Facebook probably won’t make you feel too confident as you hit the bed later. Constantly comparing your physical appearance to that of others is a sure-fire way to kill your potential for fantastic sex. Taking a few hours away from that highlight reel before bed will help you forget about the unrealistic expectations and remember that your partner is attracted to you as you are.
- Being present is possible
According to a study by the Mental Health Foundation, 40% of employee survey respondents are neglecting other aspects of their life because of work. A single text, email, or phone call from your boss could send your stress levels from completely calm to absolutely enraged in seconds. The worst part? There’s nothing you can do about it until the next day!
Rather than leave your line of communication open for work matters to interrupt the time you spend with your partner after hours, close it off. Your evening with your partner will be much more enjoyable for the both of you when you leave the possibility for professional drama out of it.
So what do you say? Are you ready to take a chance on a tech detox for the sake of your sex life? If so, there are multiple online resources and guides to help you out. One of the most useful guides I’ve found in my research is offered up by Shape. You can check it out here. If you’ve got a tip of your own you’d like to share, I’d love to hear it in the comments below!
Photo: Flickr/David VanDer Mark
Alternatively sex bots are set to hit wider production and become more affordable, soon you will not have to choose between sex and tech
Great article. I would argue that our generation’s addiction to our phones might be one of the most harmful things to intimacy in marriage.
Great article. My fiance is tied to her phone because of her job, so I understand it up to a point. I live for the moments when she puts it down or better yet turns it off so we can have some real “us” time. When we’re together I keep my phone down because with our kids and our schedules we don’t get much time alone to just be in our moments.