Question: Husband and wife happily married (well thought we were) for 20 years. Husband announces at FAMILY DINNER that he can’t do this anymore and walks out. Wife stuck at the table with his family and mine, left speechless, mortified, humiliated, and destroyed. Fast forward to a week later and husband has called to apologize and wants to come home. What should I do??? I can’t forgive this!
Answer: I have no idea what this must feel like, so humiliating and so shocked and then so confused that he wants to come back!
When I get questions, I answer them at face value but I also check into the energy and read between the lines… Blended with my 17 almost 18 years of experience.
I am sensing whether your husband made this up or it’s actually accurate… that he FELT the only way to be heard was to do so in a public forum in a way that he could somehow get back at you or hurt you for not listening.
Now that could be because indeed you require expanding your capacity to listen without judgment… Or it could be that he needs to expand his capacity to speak his truth even if he scared… or a little of both.
If I find it super hard to believe that everything was hunky-dory for 20 years until boom at dinner with family he drops the bomb. There had to be signs, there had to be misalignments, there had to be a lack of fulfillment going on… Or there were simply too many elephants in the living room and he blew!
100% definitely absolutely the solution is to apply for a complementary strategy session immediately at www.allanapratt.com/connect. This is not the time to dillydally reading books or doing affirmations… This is the time to invest in support to talk about what’s real, talk about what’s true, ultimately honor both of you and either consciously uncouple if indeed the relationship is complete yet neither one of you have the courage and capacity to speak the truth to one another…
Or it’s time to heal this dramatic humiliating experience and complete Phase 1 of your marriage and enter into Phase 2 where courage and vulnerability and intimacy are a priority and where we develop fantastic communication skills so that both people feel seen, heard, acknowledged and cherished.
I may not be the worlds best cook ;-), yet I’m an extraordinary coach and healer. I don’t work with people as long as therapists generally do because I don’t mess around. I go right to the core and teach you to fish, I don’t give you a fish. I don’t think you’re broken and I support you in connecting to your wisdom and knowing what you know.
The main reason I encourage you both to engage in a series of private and couples sessions with me is that frankly, if you don’t, you’re both going to walk into exactly the same relationship with another person because you won’t have done the work, you won’t have evolved, you won’t have grown plus you’ll be carrying a shit load of baggage, resentment and a closed heart into your next relationship which is a recipe for disaster.
I hope that’s not too straight of coaching but I honestly think it’s what you require. It’s my commitment to be transparent, honest, loving and supportive to all in my family of clients, and I’m sending you great compassion as well as excitement to hear from you. What a privilege to support you both getting through this to a better place, looking back and saying It Was All Worth It. 🙂 All my love XO XO Allana
p.s. Gentlemen…End the Fear of Rejection.
Enjoy your “How To Be A Noble Badass” Complementary Training at www.GetHerToSayYes.com
Ladies…Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now.
Enjoy your “Vulnerability is the New Sexy” Complementary Training at www.AllanaPratt.com