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Tom. 56. Birthplace: Greenwich, Connecticut. Currently: Brooklyn, New York. Not Religious. Piano/Sailing/Squash. Commodity Trader.
What does the concept/word “feminism” mean to you? What does the concept of equality mean to you?
Well I was surprised that my daughter thought of me as a feminist but when I thought it over I agreed with her. The word to me means seeking to empower women. I was using it in a more general sense to imply that there’s no reason to stop at equal, equal is not anything particularly important. Just to empower women. I actually feel that all people are equal.
What do you think is the most pressing struggle for women today? What is the most crucial aspect in your eyes?
I guess it would have to be traditions. As much as women can feel equal in the workplace and in social settings, traditions still dictate that men lead them and that women need to attach themselves to a man. Certainly I don’t feel that this applies to many or even a large segment of the female population, but I do think that too many women feel that they need a man to be successful.
Is feminism a subject you think about? Have you ever read a book or seen a documentary about feminist issues?
No, which is why I said it surprised me that my daughter considered me a feminist but when I thought about it I realized I deeply believe that everybody has great potential. And from my personal point of view, my Mom was very self-empowered and felt that she could do anything. She always told me that I could do anything, so I was never brought up thinking that women are subservient to men. That’s my mother’s doing.
Why do you identify as a feminist and how/when did you learn about it? What were you taught about women growing up?
Well my mother taught me by example. We really didn’t discuss it much at home and I was brought up with four brothers. I was more of a “He Man Woman Hater” as a little kid. I mean, I didn’t care about feminism but it was just always understood that women have every ability and right as men do. I just learned from growing up, which is where your strongest lessons always wind up coming from whether you like it or not.
Is feminism empowering for men? If so, how? How does feminism differ for you?
I would say yes because I view it the same as civil rights and any kind of bigotry. Only an insecure person wants to be bigoted against another sector because you in so doing, you feel that you’re elevating yourself by joining a class you think is superior to another class, even though you may not feel that you alone are superior to anybody. It’s generally the social misfits and the non-achievers in life who join the skinheads and the Ku Klux Klan because they know they’re nobodies but they join a group that says somebody else is even worse than they are so that makes them feel empowered. I hope that’s an answer. To try and clarify what I said; I think that I would be very embarrassed to be a bigot because it would make me feel like I’m a nobody and therefore I have to join some gang or something to prop me up.
Why do you think the word “feminist” is associated with a negative stigma? What do you think it connotes? How do you think it could change?
Well it depends on in whose eyes. I think there are a lot of people who are averse to change of any sort and historically we’ve been a male-dominated society so there’s one reason not to like feminists. I would like to think that we’re above prejudices of any type – either sexist or racist prejudices and I’d like to think that it’s unnecessary to push the struggle for feminism or civil rights although I know it’s not. That’s not really an answer but I don’t have a negative view of feminism. I think it’s a really great cause.
What issues/reservations do you have with feminism today? What do you personally think needs change?
I guess I’m not really enough of an expert on feminism to critique the movement today. I think it’s a good movement with the exception of affirmative action; in many guises I think it does more harm than good. And I’m not a big fan of government intervention in the marketplace. I’d like to hope that people who discriminate on any basis wind up with poor organizations that wind up losing money and go out of business and that the fair people in the world will dominate. But I would have to say I feel good about the term feminism, I think it’s a good cause. I think you feminists of the world are doing a good thing, power to you.
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Photo credit: Deryne Keretic