My husband and I are soulmates. He is my true love; I knew it the very second I saw him. We were 14 years old when we first laid eyes upon each other, and the feeling we both got is not something that can be explained in words. We were two halves of the same soul that were so incredibly lucky to find each other at such a young age. I loved him the moment I saw him, and I will never stop loving him. I know how fortunate this makes us. We have four amazing, strong, kind, happy, beautiful daughters. We are everything to each other and often it feels like us against the world.
Just because we were meant to be, does not mean that marriage has always been easy. Marriage can take a lot of hard work and patience. We grew up together for the last 20 years, however we have had our own major issues stemming from childhood. We have helped each other as much as we can, and sometimes have had to accept giving the other space when we are unable to help. I know however after everything we have been through, we will always be together and we can make it through anything.
Four years ago, I made a really big mistake. I brought someone into our lives behind my husband’s back, and yes, he is still here.
It is something I feel very guilty about, although our children adore him and now after 4 years, even my husband loves him (although he still finds it hard to admit), I even find him sometimes showing him affection when no-one is looking . . .
I never intended to go behind my Husband’s back. At first I asked his permission. Over and over again. I practically begged him. He stood firm. He would not budge. There was no way. As time passed, I tried so hard to accept it. However, the more time went on the more convinced I was that it needed to happen. That in some kind of way, it would benefit us all, even him.
The fateful day arrived. Realistically, I took it into my own hands. I decided if I couldn’t convince my Husband I was going to have to go and do it anyway. I felt really bad going behind his back . . . all I can say was I was too driven by overwhelming emotions and a really strong belief, which I still don’t know to this day if it was right or wrong . . . But I will always feel guilty.
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
So off I went, and the moment I saw him I was in love. He was so beautiful, sweet and fragile, you could see he needed someone to love him. What is worse, I took my eldest daughter along with me the first time we met him. She was around 9 years old, and she was taken straight away . . . there was no going back.
I was told a price, he cost an absolute fortune. I never in a million years thought I would pay for it, never mind such a large amount, but I couldn’t walk away now.
Here is a picture of him –
Photo by iStockPhoto.com
Yes, he is a cat.
His name is James Zuko. James is my Husbands middle name (we thought this would soften the blow somehow) and Zuko is after Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender (if you haven’t watched this series — you must).
Leading up to this we had had a very hard year. Our eldest daughter was struggling with a number of sad events that had happened amongst outer family and she was anxious, angry and low. When you have a child who is begging you for months on end the only way she will be happy is if she has a cat, it is really, really hard to keep saying no. When you give in, and you go see the cat and it is this cute. . . It is even more hard to say no. I am not blaming my daughter; the decision was 100% me. I take full responsibility.
Do I regret it?
Yes and no. I do not regret getting James. I can’t, he is now a member of our family and our daughters love him. I honestly believed at the time that we needed him. He is a lovely cat. He has never once hissed at or scratched the kids. He knows his Mum is our eldest daughter and he follows her around and sleeps beside her in the bed. On the flip side, he has the most annoying miaow in the world with which he wakes us up in the mornings. He sometimes leaves the heart or liver of a mouse or rat in the hallway. He has a sensitive tummy and must eat expensive food — there have been times where my husband and I have had to wash and cut out the faeces from his long fur around his backside . . . When these moments happen, I know what my husband is thinking.
However, we love him. Even my Husband loves him. He now has another male in the house to talk to, as with four daughters and a wife he is outnumbered.
James now, dressed up for my daughters Harry Potter photo shoot.
The only thing I do regret is doing it behind my husband’s back. I have never done that before and I will never do it again. Obviously, he has forgiven me and doesn’t hold anything against me, however in the future should we disagree I know we can come to a solution, compromise or ultimate understanding together . . . Let’s just say we won’t be getting a dog anytime soon.
I hope you enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek article on our experience of getting James the cat. Thanks, Nyx
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Ruthson Zimmerman on Unsplash