It’s kinda weird…When my kids were born, it wasn’t like in the movies…
There wasn’t this instant rush of overwhelming love…Looking back at it, I think I was too preoccupied with making sure everything went smoothly. All of my children were born prematurely so I was more concerned with them being ok rather than being instantly taken over by love.
Having some medical training I understand how things can go wrong as well, which didn’t help.
But I definitely remember feeling like getting those bubs out into this world was an important task that needed to be accomplished…
The most important job I’ve ever had to do!
But the thing is it was sort of out of my hands…
So I was stressed the f*&k out!
Deep down I was worried but yet still trying to keep it calm on the surface to support the mother-to-be as much as possible. I was conflicted, and being young meant I didn’t know how to calm the nerves and to worry about the things I can control…Nevertheless, it’s still a hard thing to do when your child is about to be born…It really wasn’t until a few days later that I calmed down enough to be able to start appreciating them and coming to the realization that, yes, indeed they are mine.
So does this mean there is something wrong with me?
Am I a bad parent?
For me, love has been a process and has occurred over time. It has come as a result of being involved in their lives – in the trenches, changing nappies, waking up to feed them and cleaning up vomit.
And then seeing the little victories here and there along the way – crawling, walking, talking etc.
The journey of being a father is where it’s at! In fact, the journey of doing anything is where it’s at! So whatever your experience is with becoming a parent and whatever feelings you have, understand that sometimes love isn’t instantaneous. And that’s ok. Just don’t judge yourself as a bad parent or bad person…Just give yourself time, get involved and it will blossom!
In time, we will all boss. Tell me your experience with feelings of love for your kids below