Once hopeful that the “post-feminist world” had arrived, Amy Vernon finds she still needs to be a feminist, even if she doesn’t want to be.
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When Sally Ride became the first female astronaut and Geraldine Ferraro the first woman vice presidential candidate for one of the Big Two parties, I was pretty sure I was living in the world that the 1960s’ feminists had fought so hard to achieve: The post-feminist world.
One story keeps coming back to me as emblematic of all this: The Time I Didn’t Get the Same Vacation Allotment as the Dude Hired After Me.
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The Equal Rights Amendment had failed to pass, but it didn’t matter; we were on equal footing as men. Sure, salaries hadn’t caught up quite yet, but that would take time. You couldn’t, overnight, put a bunch of women in top-salary positions. By the time I reached the workforce, all this would be behind us.
Except, it wasn’t.
I’ve had a lot of conversations lately with other women, about rape culture and harassment; about the pay gap; about why “feminist” isn’t a four-letter word (and it’s not just because it’s eight letters, either). One story keeps coming back to me as emblematic of all this: The Time I Didn’t Get the Same Vacation Allotment as the Dude Hired After Me.
Women often are blamed for being paid less. We don’t ask, we’re told. We don’t “lean in.” We don’t celebrate our accomplishments enough.
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I was blamed for this in the aforementioned case, in fact, despite the fact that it simply wasn’t true.
After all, if this was the rule, and there were no exceptions, then everyone was in the same boat. Fine.
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I was done at The Miami Herald. After years of leaning in, and pushing my own accomplishments and being an overall pain in the ass, I’d reached a point where the politics of the situation were untenable. I do blame myself for some of this, because I hadn’t learned to pick my battles. I constantly battled. That gets annoying. So whatever. I was moving on. I got a job at The East Valley Tribune, outside of Phoenix – a smaller, scrappier paper, up against the 400 pound gorilla of The Arizona Republic.
I’d always had three weeks’ vacation and asked for the same at my new paper (before I accepted the job offer, mind you). I was told that no exceptions were made to the rule that you needed to be with the newspaper company (different from the Herald’s parent company) for a certain number of years to be eligible. I was still young, I really liked the newsroom attitude and was willing to make the sacrifice. After all, if this was the rule, and there were no exceptions, then everyone was in the same boat. Fine.
Except, that wasn’t true. A couple months after I joined the paper, another reporter my age was hired. We had about the same amount of experience, more or less. The paper he came from also had a different parent company. But, as it turns out, he asked for and was given — with no argument — three weeks’ vacation. I found this out in conversation with him several months later. I should have asked for three weeks, he told me.
Uh, I did. Now, mind you, this was not his fault. He asked for three weeks and was given it. What was he supposed to do? Ask if women hired around the same time as him had been given the same consideration? Of course not.
So I marched my fanny into the managing editor’s office and confronted him with this information.
I should have asked for three weeks, he told me.
Uh, I did. I then looked him in the eyes and suggested that I found it odd that a man hired right about the same time as me was given the vacation time with no argument, while I was told there were no exceptions and wouldn’t get it. Not to mention that I’d been put on the weekend shift while he had not (same thing happened after we were both made editors – despite my being made editor before him).
Needless to say, I was given the extra week of vacation on the spot.
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But you know what? The entire situation sucked.
I don’t even think any of this was done purposefully. That kind of makes it worse.
I don’t want to be a feminist. I want to live in that post-feminist world I was promised.
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It shows an innate bias toward men that isn’t even thought about. Or, at least, an innate bias against women. Either way, ugh.
I don’t want to be a feminist. I want to live in that post-feminist world I was promised.
But I don’t live in that world.
And I am a feminist. And damned proud to be.
Originally published on AmyVernon.net
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Photo: Flickr/NASA Goddard Space Flight Center
I see the mod squad removed my responses ….. very disappointing.
Tom, I’ve found that I’d rather just not post versus having my part of the dialog edited. My story just becomes someone else’s story when I allow that to happen.
PursuitAce, I understand what you’re saying but it’s frustrating when what I/we post is’t abrasive. My point was simply that I was disappointing that a women’s accomplishments have to have a label rather then her owning those accomplishments as a strong “women.” More then likely will find that this response will disappear as well …. simply a test in futility.
Ah yes, that supposed wage gap! It’s no where near what you think it is.
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/2073804
FWIW, at no point in the entire post do I mention the words “wage gap”.
you do, however, mention the words “pay gap” which is the same thing. So what I’m wondering is why any of us should take your anecdotal evidence as gospel when, like others commenting here, I also have stories of women being paid more than I am even though I’ve worked at a place longer, women being softballed on discipline, women getting preferential treatment- from both male and female supervisors?
8ball, I have experienced the same.
I’ve seen that go the other way too. At my job our male boss allowed us to trade scheduled work days. This went for men and women. One guy wanted to work weekends so he could take a class. The weekend guy wanted off weekends so he could spend more time with his kids. Our boss’ female boss found out and the rule was changed to no switching. The next day I was called into her office and she asked if I’d change with a female employee, so she could take a class she wanted to take. She never told… Read more »
Nowhere do I say that there’s never bias practiced in the opposite direction. It is true, however, that it happens far more to women than to men. This was one example out of many, just emblematic of what I experienced over 20 years.
@ Amy Vernon I don’t think it happens to women more at least not now. It happens to women in different ways. For example, my nephew worked as a cashier / carryout for a department store. He made as much as the female cashiers who were not designated carry out. Only men were designated carry out. Carryout required you to be able to lift 50+ pound items. He also had to retrieve carts and process returns, which were sometimes the heavy items he had to deliver to the customer’s vehicle. Would this be an unequal working condition? I’m certain it… Read more »