An anonymous look into a secret life: “It’s not about paying for sex. It’s about a guaranteed good time coupled with professionalism and discretion.”
Editor’s note: The following is an interview conducted by Rachel Smith with an anonymous correspondent. Ms. Smith is not, for the sake of clarity, the woman hiring the escorts.
Please tell me a little bit about yourself, your age, who you are, what you do.
I am a professional woman in my late 30s.
What’s your relationship status and when did you first use a male escort?
I’m currently single. I’ve hired escorts, both male and female, when I had a partner – however I never hired an escort solo whilst I was in a relationship. I started using male escorts when my partner and I wanted to try a threesome with another man. We didn’t want to go out and pick up some guy in a bar so we decided to call a male escort. That way we could be guaranteed discretion as well as safe sex and good hygiene.
Describe a typical experience you’ve had hiring one.
The escorts are always gorgeous, fun and intelligent. The sex is always guaranteed and it’s totally discreet which is really important to me. They are there to please and it’s wonderful to be pleasured and pampered. One of my escorts even cooks me dinner sometimes and he’s a really fabulous cook.
Paying for sex / hiring sex workers / escorts has traditionally been a male pursuit…
It’s not about paying for sex. It’s about a guaranteed good time coupled with professionalism and discretion. I have a sexy man or woman come to me and spend fun intimate time together. Plus it’s refreshing to not be pressured into having sex without condoms; this was a real hassle when I used to meet new guys and they often complained about using a condom because they didn’t like them for one reason or another.
Escorts provide a service. When I hire an escort I am hiring the services of a professional man and I love the conversation and the company just as much as the intimacy. I’m not just hiring a walking penis, a penis couldn’t cook me dinner or give me a massage, but my hired companion can. I am disgusted by people who objectify others for any reason. Escorts choose to do this job and at least they’re out earning a living rather than leaching off society. I think it’s great that this service exists. I need a high level of discretion and I’m pretty time poor due to my work commitments but sometimes I still like to be pampered and spoiled. Just because I’m busy doesn’t mean I don’t have needs.
How often do you hire escorts? Is it a way of treating yourself? I hear it’s pretty pricey.
On average I would say I see an escort once or twice a month, sometimes more. Having intimate company can be many things to me. Sometimes it’s because I want to be pampered, somtimes work has been stressful and I just want some time to myself and some stress relief and sometimes I’m just plain horny. Sometimes it can be a combination of all these things. I guess I view it as a bit of a treat. That being said however, when life or work have been really stressful I consider having such company a necessity; my companion will come over, give me a sensuous massage and then we’ll have incredible sex. After this I’m relaxed, happy and ready to go back to work and face whatever it may throw at me. When it comes to the money, I’ve had the experience of using different services who charge different amounts. Let me tell you the cost is a big indicator of what you get. When you pay top dollar you get a well-groomed, articulate, intelligent escort and they’re worth every cent. I’ve made some less expensive choices in the past and most of the time I was sorely disappointed on one level or another. In this industry it’s true that you get what you pay for.
Are you in the minority among women you know?
Definitely, but I think that’s a real shame. I do think many women go without sex and that is so unnecessary. I think many women fear being judged or being told they just couldn’t get sex without paying for it, which is just mean. What they really want is someone intimate, discreet and amazing in bed with no strings attached. If they go out and pick up in a bar they’re considered easy, but if they pay for it they’re looked down on. It’s kind of a lose-lose situation in that regard which is so disappointing. That’s why those of us that I know who use escorts keep it pretty much to ourselves.
How memorable have your escort experiences been, sexually?
Sexual experiences are what you make of them and whether it’s with an escort or not. I have had some nights with my companions which were so fantastic I thought I might explode. It’s a good thing on those occasions I could extend my booking because I just wanted more and more. The difference with having sex with an escort compared to picking up, whether the partner is drunk or not, is that with an escort you’re guaranteed to be safe (i.e. if you pick up you just don’t know who you’re going home with which can be really dangerous), they’re definitely going to be able to perform and it’s guaranteed safe sex.
What if you’re not attracted to the escort? Is that something that’s happened to you and if so, how did you handle it?
If I really wasn’t attracted to the escort I wouldn’t sleep with them. We would just chat and I get them to give me a sensual, relaxing massage. There are some people you just don’t click with on a physical level and if that happens I just don’t hire that person again but I make sure the company knows it’s nothing the escort said or did, it was just personal preference. I think it’s only happened to me once or twice.
On the flip side do you ever worry about becoming attached? Have you hired the same escort more than once?
Yes, I have. When I was in a relationship it was great because he knew what we wanted and how our relationship dynamic worked so it was relaxed, easy and fun. Nowadays I may hire someone I’ve seen before but sometimes I want someone new. I don’t really want the complication of a relationship so I don’t worry about becoming attached. Escorts fulfill a physical need in me and although we can have lovely conversations as well I try to keep it pretty basic and not get too personal. It’s not the right environment for emotional attachments.
What kind of women do you think would really benefit from this service?
All types of women would benefit from this service no matter what their age or interests are. Hot guys, safe sex, no strings attached, willing and able, what more could you want? Of course if a woman is looking for a relationship then this service probably isn’t what they’re looking for. But for any woman looking to be treated like a princess and have fantastic discreet and personal sex then this is definitely for them. It’s one of the things I love about hiring an escort, that in this case it’s always all about me and my ‘date’ loves it just as much as I do.
Do you keep it a secret, or have you told friends? If so, what has been the response?
It’s not that I keep it a secret – it’s just that it’s no-one’s business. I don’t ask my friends who they’re sleeping with but I guess I’m not that kind of person. I have told a few of my friends when they were complaining about being horny so I suggested it to them but most of them think they would be too shy to try it. I just told them they don’t know what they’re missing.
The Q&A above is with a regular client of Melbourne, Australia-based male escort agency, Aphrodisiac Male Escorts.
This article originally appeared at Reality Chick.
photo: Susan Burke / Flickr