An anonymous look into a secret life: “It’s not about paying for sex. It’s about a guaranteed good time coupled with professionalism and discretion.”
Editor’s note: The following is an interview conducted by Rachel Smith with an anonymous correspondent. Ms. Smith is not, for the sake of clarity, the woman hiring the escorts.
Please tell me a little bit about yourself, your age, who you are, what you do.
I am a professional woman in my late 30s.
What’s your relationship status and when did you first use a male escort?
I’m currently single. I’ve hired escorts, both male and female, when I had a partner – however I never hired an escort solo whilst I was in a relationship. I started using male escorts when my partner and I wanted to try a threesome with another man. We didn’t want to go out and pick up some guy in a bar so we decided to call a male escort. That way we could be guaranteed discretion as well as safe sex and good hygiene.
Describe a typical experience you’ve had hiring one.
The escorts are always gorgeous, fun and intelligent. The sex is always guaranteed and it’s totally discreet which is really important to me. They are there to please and it’s wonderful to be pleasured and pampered. One of my escorts even cooks me dinner sometimes and he’s a really fabulous cook.
Paying for sex / hiring sex workers / escorts has traditionally been a male pursuit…
It’s not about paying for sex. It’s about a guaranteed good time coupled with professionalism and discretion. I have a sexy man or woman come to me and spend fun intimate time together. Plus it’s refreshing to not be pressured into having sex without condoms; this was a real hassle when I used to meet new guys and they often complained about using a condom because they didn’t like them for one reason or another.
Escorts provide a service. When I hire an escort I am hiring the services of a professional man and I love the conversation and the company just as much as the intimacy. I’m not just hiring a walking penis, a penis couldn’t cook me dinner or give me a massage, but my hired companion can. I am disgusted by people who objectify others for any reason. Escorts choose to do this job and at least they’re out earning a living rather than leaching off society. I think it’s great that this service exists. I need a high level of discretion and I’m pretty time poor due to my work commitments but sometimes I still like to be pampered and spoiled. Just because I’m busy doesn’t mean I don’t have needs.
How often do you hire escorts? Is it a way of treating yourself? I hear it’s pretty pricey.
On average I would say I see an escort once or twice a month, sometimes more. Having intimate company can be many things to me. Sometimes it’s because I want to be pampered, somtimes work has been stressful and I just want some time to myself and some stress relief and sometimes I’m just plain horny. Sometimes it can be a combination of all these things. I guess I view it as a bit of a treat. That being said however, when life or work have been really stressful I consider having such company a necessity; my companion will come over, give me a sensuous massage and then we’ll have incredible sex. After this I’m relaxed, happy and ready to go back to work and face whatever it may throw at me. When it comes to the money, I’ve had the experience of using different services who charge different amounts. Let me tell you the cost is a big indicator of what you get. When you pay top dollar you get a well-groomed, articulate, intelligent escort and they’re worth every cent. I’ve made some less expensive choices in the past and most of the time I was sorely disappointed on one level or another. In this industry it’s true that you get what you pay for.
Are you in the minority among women you know?
Definitely, but I think that’s a real shame. I do think many women go without sex and that is so unnecessary. I think many women fear being judged or being told they just couldn’t get sex without paying for it, which is just mean. What they really want is someone intimate, discreet and amazing in bed with no strings attached. If they go out and pick up in a bar they’re considered easy, but if they pay for it they’re looked down on. It’s kind of a lose-lose situation in that regard which is so disappointing. That’s why those of us that I know who use escorts keep it pretty much to ourselves.
How memorable have your escort experiences been, sexually?
Sexual experiences are what you make of them and whether it’s with an escort or not. I have had some nights with my companions which were so fantastic I thought I might explode. It’s a good thing on those occasions I could extend my booking because I just wanted more and more. The difference with having sex with an escort compared to picking up, whether the partner is drunk or not, is that with an escort you’re guaranteed to be safe (i.e. if you pick up you just don’t know who you’re going home with which can be really dangerous), they’re definitely going to be able to perform and it’s guaranteed safe sex.
What if you’re not attracted to the escort? Is that something that’s happened to you and if so, how did you handle it?
If I really wasn’t attracted to the escort I wouldn’t sleep with them. We would just chat and I get them to give me a sensual, relaxing massage. There are some people you just don’t click with on a physical level and if that happens I just don’t hire that person again but I make sure the company knows it’s nothing the escort said or did, it was just personal preference. I think it’s only happened to me once or twice.
On the flip side do you ever worry about becoming attached? Have you hired the same escort more than once?
Yes, I have. When I was in a relationship it was great because he knew what we wanted and how our relationship dynamic worked so it was relaxed, easy and fun. Nowadays I may hire someone I’ve seen before but sometimes I want someone new. I don’t really want the complication of a relationship so I don’t worry about becoming attached. Escorts fulfill a physical need in me and although we can have lovely conversations as well I try to keep it pretty basic and not get too personal. It’s not the right environment for emotional attachments.
What kind of women do you think would really benefit from this service?
All types of women would benefit from this service no matter what their age or interests are. Hot guys, safe sex, no strings attached, willing and able, what more could you want? Of course if a woman is looking for a relationship then this service probably isn’t what they’re looking for. But for any woman looking to be treated like a princess and have fantastic discreet and personal sex then this is definitely for them. It’s one of the things I love about hiring an escort, that in this case it’s always all about me and my ‘date’ loves it just as much as I do.
Do you keep it a secret, or have you told friends? If so, what has been the response?
It’s not that I keep it a secret – it’s just that it’s no-one’s business. I don’t ask my friends who they’re sleeping with but I guess I’m not that kind of person. I have told a few of my friends when they were complaining about being horny so I suggested it to them but most of them think they would be too shy to try it. I just told them they don’t know what they’re missing.
The Q&A above is with a regular client of Melbourne, Australia-based male escort agency, Aphrodisiac Male Escorts.
This article originally appeared at Reality Chick.
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photo: Susan Burke / Flickr
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And if a man came forward and talked all about how he loved visiting escorts, punting, visiting brothels, and so on, this would be a hate piece all about he normalizes male ownership and oppression of women, male entitlement to female bodies, perpetuation of rape and trafficking, and how men have unrealistic, pornified expectations of sex, sexuality, and women.
My name is Manny and I’m an independent companion and escort, based in Perth, available for today’s professional and modern women. I am well spoken with impeccable tastes and a great conversationalist. I pride myself on being polite, courteous, romantic and offering first class client satisfaction. Whether you are interested in male event companionship, or just want to be pampered, I will provide you with the right arrangement, tailored to your individual desires. Above all, I will be your charming Courtesan. My greatest passion is to pamper and indulge. Let’s share an evening of amorous pleasure, a harmonious interplay of… Read more »
Great article Rachel. My name is Manny and I’m an independent companion and escort, based in Perth, available for today’s professional and modern women.
Thank you for this courageous and honest interview. Greeting Noah D. from https://callboy-monaco.com
Love to read your post and thanks for sharing this great article.
The comments section here is nearly as interesting as the article itself. I believe the lady interviewed has booked me before now. Is it paying for a man to have sex with you or paying for complete devotion to your needs and desires? Maybe it depends on your view of sex and intimacy and which escort you book. Women are equally as sexual as men, they just express it in different ways or suppress it in fear of labeling. The discreet service of a male escort who knows his way around a woman is clearly more appealing than a drunk… Read more »
[…] from the tweets and Facebook likes on the article above (and the fact that it was reprinted at The Good Men Project) there is clearly a need for male escorts and I support any woman’s right to use male escorts […]
Finally a great article about the industry. Based on my personal experience, being an escort is so much more than just sex. It’s a mix out of being a lover, friend and counselor. Oh and yes I do cook as well 🙂
[…] are also services for the ladies, if you type “Gigolo” or “Male Escort”, blog posts on the women who use them, as well as what might be called “special interest groups” on […]
Hmmm…this article brings up a lot to think about.. I like the ideal of an escort when you’re single and have an important event to go to, that you don’t want to attend alone…but not sure about the sex part… Also, I’m an avid Tango Dancer and in Buenos Aires they have what’s called, Taxi Dancers. Tango dancers for hire (men and women) that will “escort” you out for a night of dancing and fun. You can even request height, age range and looks if you want. I haven’t tried this yet, (my boyfriend and I met Tango Dancing) but… Read more »
Yes, that is the type of escort she’s talking about. Here in Australia it is licensed and legal so we can talk openly without fear. We’re a little more forward thinking here.
Interesting read.
I can understand why certain types of women would rather hire an escort opposed to continuing the dating experience in such an unpredictable and sometimes fatal society.
Hats off to whatever woman is comfortable with allowing another woman in bed with her man.
I don’t feel any moral barriers to hiring an escort, just financial ones. But I’m guessing that if a person is working such long hours that they don’t have time for a relationship, and are so high-status that they need this level of discretion to carry on, the tradeoff is that they have a good bit of disposable income that I don’t. Costs aside, yeah, nothing really wrong with this, and I would consider it if I had a need and knew of a reputable service. And it seems really useful if you’re in a relationship and want to recruit… Read more »
Hi Rachel, thanks for your article. When I finished I saw that you are in Melbourne, Australia. One point i want to bring out. I am sure it’s simpler finding a safe escort service in Melbourne than in NYC. I know if I were to ever use one in NYC I would have someone in the sex industry that I trust refer a safe escort service to me in NYC. You also have to know what works for you. Although sometimes when I am minus a lover, I have thought about using a service, but it’s just not for me.… Read more »
Thanks Sheri. I’m actually based in Sydney, but the escort service who put me onto this client of theirs is Melbourne-based. These companies are few and far between in Australia – there are a couple in Melbourne and I think one in Sydney and one in Brisbane. The debate here has been really interesting. While obviously not for everyone, the co-owners of the company have a variety of women seek them out. Some are high-flyers with no time for a relationship (much like this case study above) while others may be IN a long-term relationship but their male partner has… Read more »
First of all, if you know a lot about human sexuality, you’d learn that’s at men do not connect sex with love anyway so although the female is completely genuinely making love, the man is only capable of that to a very low degree. You can argue it and its not what you want to hear maybe but it’s the truth. Look it up. So to accuse someone of not having a genuine sexual experience is inaccurate at the very least. Secondly, we all pay for many things that make us feel good. Everything from massages to therapy to make… Read more »
And women can’t reverse park or catch a ball.
Wow, broad unfounded stereot-yping is easy. No wonder so many resort to it.
@Amy,
You are just plain wrong.
There are multitudes of women who do one night stands for just sex. There is no love whatsoever. So, it is almost like men.
Hence, I must beg to differ.
Speak for yourself, if you always fall in love as soon as you have sex with someone, but don’t go claiming it’s true for all women. Look it up? Where? Did you write a book about your opinions?
I just hope more women start buying sex so it will become acceptable for men to pay for sex as well.
Currently sex work and paying for sex is illegal and considered ‘abnormal’ because it makes women and religious nuts uncomfortable. Just take a survey.
If prostituion is totally acceptable and if everyone is paying for sex, why have relationships at all? We’ll all just hire people to service us. Why would I date some schluppy guy if I can pay for a really gorgeous guy? Same for men I suppose.
I dunno, maybe that would be better. You can get exactly what you want that way.
The reason is, and I can speak from experience, is that relationships are distinct from sex. Sex is one thing and love (or relationships as you put it) is another. You’re wiser not to confuse the two. Of course, the question is, is it really about getting exactly what you want? I’ve had exactly what I wanted, but I wanted more. That more is not on the marketplace. It’s found in relationship. I’ve been fortunate to have found the satisfying relationship and no longer buy. See how simple it is? Sex with gorgeous people, or even just people who are… Read more »
@The Wet One… “The reason is, and I can speak from experience, is that relationships are distinct from sex. Sex is one thing and love (or relationships as you put it) is another.” Yes, I can agree with you here. You can get exactly what you want from either. They are separate and distinct. You have either great sex or a great relationship. It is rare in reality to have both. I have argued this on several occasions within the context of many women wanting a particular man for sex and another type of man for a relationship. That’w why,… Read more »
@Sarah:
Yes, maybe being upfront about the payment should be the better way to handle things.
But there’s still a limited supply of gorgeous people. Maybe you can’t get what you desire that way either, ’cause the gorgeous you require is out of stock 😉
@Sarah,,,,,
At least the men (or women) who just want sex would have an above ground, regulated, and safe way to go about it. Not that I am an advocate. But perhaps it time to seriously considered it here in the US.
I would never deal with a prostitute. I just think they are disgusting. Not as human beings, but for what they do……But that’s how I honestly feel.
I to this day cannot figure out why a man would want to be with a prostitute who has been with hundreds of men….
Just saying.
Personally, I kind of feel the same way about soldiers. Being committed to killing people and dying on behalf of a state with moral or immoral purposes at heart. It’s very gross to me. But hey, sex can be gross to some just as killing is to others. Vive la difference! Non? 😉
@The Wet One…
I respect your opinion.
But, I find the comparison of a prostitute to a patriotic duty to be just absurd. If you do not like being in wars or the military, so be it. You have the right to be a pacifist.
But, that is entirely different than electing to be a prostitute for $$$$.
You may find it absurd, but if you take the stricture against killing people seriously, well, it’s not so absurd. Failing to see how “patriotic duties” (namely killing others for whatever reason the state deems legitimate, say like the Iraq war, or WWII on the part of Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan) is at least if not more morally compromised than prostitution, is quite beyond me, but it is pretty the same all over and not very special. It’s a very common form of blindness, seen worldwide. Rather like prostitution…
Anyways…
And to support my foregoing point, here is a man who lived by the sword, and ironically died by it. http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/02/03/chris_kyle_shot_american_sniper_author_murdered_at_gun_range.html
He went to a foreign country four times, at the behest of his governmentment and killed between 150 – 250 people who were arguably defending the soil on which they’ve lived for generations. This is a laudable thing? As opposed to bringing some small pleasure to one’s fellow human being?
Really? And the prostitute’s the disgusting one? As opposed to the professional killer?
Hmmm….
As I say, it’s a weird world out there.
So it goes…
@The Wet One….
Funny. Reads like “The Laches”, a Socratic dialogue written by Plato.
In stead of “What is courage?” I guess it is, “What is disgusting?”
Oh well.
I often disagree with you Jules but I agree with you on this. I think sex work is disgusting ,that’s my personal feeling). I don’t want to judge the people who do it though. They have their reasons and who am I to judge. But the thought of having sex with a sex worker is disgusting to me. I’m not sure I’d even want to have sex with a guy who admitted to me that he’d had sex with a sex worker.
What about a guy who had a one night stand, or several?
A few I can understand. If it was a frequent thing or part of his lifestyle, I’d be concerned. I do not want to be involved with a player or a pickup artist. When I was in my 20’s, I started dating an older guy who had been in a mildly successful rock band for a few years in his youth. After the rock band broke up, he started an executive recruiting firm and made a lot of money. I knew he’d had a wild kind of life but then one night he told me that he’d had sex with… Read more »
Well, different strokes for different folks. I suspect you and Jules (is Jules on this thread, I don’t recall), have similar views on these matters. There’s someone for everyone out there.
Don’t undermine the cartel and you will be fine 🙂
@Keith… You know I have a different view. I think if we were to legalize prostitution in America, even more men would use the services of sex workers. This would cause men to totally eschew, in large numbers, long term relationships and marriage. Why? Because, probably the minimal sex they actually get (and the quality) in these relationships would not justify entering them. So, this would leave an even greater number of women having to finally consider marrying the bad boys they want to have sex with anyway. Wow. Wouldn’t that be an interesting dynamic? Maybe then, a lot of… Read more »
Does this happen in other countries where prostitution is legal? E.g. Canada? The U.K., France, Germany (holy crap, Germany is like wild!), Thailand, most countries on earth?
You might want to think through what you believe on this a little bit because you don’t have very much evidence or reason to back up your, eh, decidedly odd beliefs…
@The Wet One…. I have no idea. It is a purely speculative scenario. All I do know is that sex is very dysfunctional in America (for whatever reason). As for just putting a rubber on to have sex with a prostitute, how does that change just what she is: a whore? What about the ones who give bjs without condoms and have the guy cum in her mouth? Do you think I want to kiss her? No thanks. Hundreds of men. Gaping orifices,….I recently ready of WebMD that more and more women are suffering from torn sphincter muscles due to… Read more »
Jules, It’s really frustrating when people attach derogatory names to women that are paid to sleep with other people, where they make up no names for people that pay to sleep with people. Please don’t refer to women, who is paid to sleep with someone or not, a “whore”. You talk about how sex is dysfunctional in America. Stop using shaming derogatory words used specifically against women and maybe will be give a chance to feel more free to express their sexuality without condemnation. Do you think women want to kiss men that lick other women and have “girl cum”… Read more »
@Erin… Sorry to offend. I only used “w” word in the context of prostitutes. I do not believe most men (and women) would not use this word to shame a prostitute. The general consensus the world over is that prostitutes are regarded as w****s. Yes, I know the word is used to shame women who are not sex workers. Hence, I used it in the context of sex workers. Nevertheless, my apologies for offending you. I am not in the business of degrading women. Just because I find some of the behaviors of women a bit annoying and offensive does… Read more »
How many women have given you blow jobs, just to goose the gander here? Over 50? I’m asking somewhat rhetorically but I don’t see any difference.
@Julie Gillis,
“How many women have given you blow jobs, just to goose the gander here?’
Four. My ex wife did not do oral sex. But, I knew this before I married her. So, no big deal. Plus, I love intercourse. Getting BJs are really not my thing.
So, there is a difference between four and 50.
Is there a difference between intercourse and bjs? Is it the condom thing you are reacting to? I don’t get it. If a person tests clean for STDs and was respectful to their partners… what is the difference to you between (giving or getting) four and 50? It seems like people have this idea that the mouth or vagina gets somehow used up and that the worth of a person (woman) is in how few people have been “in” her. This seems regressive to me. Men seeking sexual encounters have to be getting them from someone, and thus the math… Read more »
@Jullie Gillis… “Is there a difference between intercourse and bjs?” Of course! They are two different sex acts. I am at a loss for that question. “what is the difference to you between (giving or getting) four and 50?” Your original question was how many women had given my bjs. Not how many bjs. Again, I have no desire to be with 50 women. Just as I have no desire to be with a woman who has been with 50 men. It about the number of partners. “I don’t think it does anyone any good to generalize…” Where was I… Read more »
What does number of partner mean to you? I guess that is my question.
@Jullie Gillis…
“It seems like people have this idea that the mouth or vagina gets somehow used up and that the worth of a person (woman) is in how few people have been “in” her.”
Well, there is some medical evidence that have lots of sex with lots of different partners does make the vagina loose and certain muscles stretched. Hence, the popularity of “vaginal rejuvenation” surgery.
Also, there is just this whole ideal of being out in public and running into an assortment of men who have slept with your wife.
Nothing I care to be bothered with.
I don’t think that vaginal rejuvenuation means what you think it does:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginoplasty
Jules, that is a myth. A woman’s vagina can get less toned with aging, just like any other muscle. That’s why doctors tell women to do kegel exercises. But having sex with a lot of men doesn’t stretch out the vagina. If it did then it wouldn’t matter if it was a lot of sex with one man or a lot of sex with different men. If this were true, then married women should avoid having sex in order to keep their vaginas tight. But again, the only thing that makes the vagina get less tight is the muscles getting… Read more »
Thank you Sarah! Correct and medically accurate.
Erin, for once, and this is rare thing, I agree with you completely. YOU GO GIRL!!!
What a horrible and offensive comment. If they are so gross, why on earth have sex with them. Don’t answer that I figure I know…there is a serious lack of empathy and recognition that the people you are casting in such a light are human beings. This is part of what’s wrong with sex in the US, this.
@Jullie Gillis… First, let me apologize to you as well for finding my comments offensive. They were not intended to be offensive. Second, I am not a proponent of prostitution. However, maybe the time has come to considered legalizing it to address some of the sexual dysfunction issues. I have never engaged a prostitute. I don’t even do strip clubs or bachelor parties. I just find the two things rather degrading to women. I am not Mr. Moral High Ground….but having good standards of decency and conduct is important to me. Finally, I do have empathy for SOME prostitutes but… Read more »
Because you are a human being capable of empathy. Showing and feeling empathy doesn’t mean that you are condoning behavior or even trusting them with your safety. It means you are capable of seeing them as a human being, offering the same respect you’d offer anyone.
I mean, it’s what I try to do, even when it’s difficult. Because to do otherwise means selling out what I believe is my humanity.
Sigh…. I’ll leave the task of talking to you to others…
@The Wet One,
Too bad. You are not the man of depth I thought.
Duly noted.
So, it’s only “human trafficking” when guys hire women?
Who mentioned human trafficking?
Yeah pretty much. No one cares about men. Didn’t you get the memo back in the 80’s? Jeez man! Keep up!
I have never paid for sex or for any sort of attention, but this is something that I would definitely consider. The problem is availability… I have a full schedule, and most men I date have one too. I turn down sex way too often merely because the timing or the duration of an encounter isn’t right even if it’s with someone who really wants to spend time with me.
@Olive…
That’s the problem in America. People do not even make time for the simple pleasures of life anymore. No wonder we have so much social dysfunction in this country.
Sad and pathetic.
I’m actually in Canada, and I don’t know if things are the same in the U.S., but I find that people around here are genuinely busy most of the time, as in they have work to do, or some kind of commitment like taking extra work, updating skills through education, taking care of family, or even maintaining established friendships. So, it’s not that they don’t want to, but more that people can’t find the time. I’m sure this is even true for married couples, so you can imagine how it can be for singles over the age of, say 30.… Read more »
A co-worker of mine feels much the same way. Between work (2 jobs) and her 2 children, she doesn’t have time for a relationship. She only dates men on the weekends, and that works for her. They enjoy eachothers company and attention on the weekends that they can make time, but during the week, their focus is work and family. People have to think outside the status quo these days. Creative new ways to make relationships work. A “friend with benefits” situation like this can be just the right thing for certain people.
@Olive, “Sex may be in the script, but it’s not the central point.” If you’re paying a sex worker/male escort, I think you are paying him for sex. Let us not kid ourselves on this point. You don’t call a sex worker to paint your house! If you do not desire a relationship, I can full well understand that fact. Neither do I. So, I use FWB arrangements for sex. I will readily admit, in the name of full disclosure, I am not a proponent of prostitution. But, maybe the time has come to think about legalizing it in the… Read more »
Oh my… Are you trying to shame me, sir?
I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with hiring a male escort to paint my place… Kind of kinky in fact. Thanks for the suggestion!
And for the record, a FWB arrangement IS a relationship… It might not be as committed, but a relationship it is. Don’t kid yourself.
@Olive…
“Oh my… Are you trying to shame me, sir?”
No.
Olive – maybe we should split costs on one in the near future…..
THREESOME!!! WOO HOO!!!
I won’t ask if I can watch because that would just be rude…. 🙂
Surely it would be rude NOT to ask…..? At least if you are gonna watch anyway.
Interesting… 🙂
As a final point, can someone please explain to me how or why this belongs on the “Good Men Project”? I seriously don’t get it. This has nothing to do with men. There isn’t even an interview of with the male escort. Seriously, what’s the point of this? Career advertisement to young guys who can’t get a job but have a clue as to how to treat a woman and have the ability to get it up for any live woman who comes along?
Do tell…
Yes, I think GMP is trying to recruit young men into the prostitution business. You totally found them out! (((sarcasm))) I think most men are interested in learning about women on some level. Here is a woman that pays a man for an escorting service. It’s a unique perspective considering that it’s more common for men to purchase sex. Do we really need to hear another story from a female escort? Not that they aren’t interesting and insightful. But this offers something unique. I am left with the impression that if this was a story from the perspective of a… Read more »
I thought this site was about men. What does this have to do with men? I just don’t see it.
And yes, I’d be interested either way (prostitution is of interest to me). And while men do interact with women regularly…
Ehhh…. I suppose. It’s not like the discussion is about menses or lipstick which is pretty far removed from any concerns men might have. I suppose…
I would think it’s valuable to have some things from a woman’s perspective on a site like this. I mean, at some point a ‘Good Man’ is going to have to get along with other genders, no?
Well, I’d be curious to know whether she’d accept men hiring female escorts for much the same reasons as she hires male ones. That chance was unfortunately missed in the interview, it would seem.
@The Wet One….
Well, it is a different and rare perspective.
Also, it clearly demonstrates that the idea that sex is an emotional experience for women is a complete farce. All the guy need be to some women is attractive, can get it up (and keep it up), and safe.
The emotional stuff is reserved for men like I was once : a sucker for the romance narrative. As Tina Turner says, “What Love Got To Do With It!’
Peace.
What the heck is the difference between “personal sex” and, I suppose, “impersonal sex”?
BTW, this woman sounds so much like a man, it’s remarkable. Could have sworn this was off some escort review board somewhere and written by one of the more eloquent pooners.
So it goes…
This sounds incredibly icky to me — I don’t kniw how else to describe it. I can’t imagine paying a guy to have sex with me. But, to each his, or her, own, I guess.
I understand that it’s not for everyone, but why do you say it is icky?
Icky in what way?
A man who is faking interest in me and being paid for his services, who has no real attraction for me, probably fueled by Viagra, touching me and (to be blunt) putting his penis in me. It makes me feel nauseated to think about it!
@Sarah…
Isn’t similar to a one night stand without paying? Is the one night stand guy really interested in the woman or the sex?
Just asking.
I don’t like one night stands, but I suppose the difference is that the guy hopefully likes me and is genuinely turned on. Otherwise it seems humiliating!
@Elissa…
Frankly, I do not see how it is any different than a one night stand.
You’re just paying. I guess you know what you’re getting ahead of time.
I agree Jules, though I do acknowledge an apparent/tangible difference between how men and women perceive this form of exchange.
Hi I’m anwar my watsup num 08892889529
Sarah, you’re not paying the guy to have sex with you (more likely than not anyways. A guy who can escort would have slept with you anyways if you asked him to at a bar). What you’re paying for is the attention, the care and attention to detail. The average drunk schlub at the bar will give you the wham bam thank you ma’am. A male escort is there to fulfill a WOMAN’s desires. Not a man’s. That’s what you’re buying (or should be buying). Also, you’re paying him to leave and not fart in your bed. A regular sexual… Read more »
I have no interest in sex with a man who isn’t genuinely attracted to me. I’d get nothing out of that at all.
More exact : you cannot know whether he’s genuinly attracted to you or not.
It’s perfectly possible that he’s attracted, but you can’t know this for sure.And he wants the money either way.
I see. Men really are quite different from women that way (a generalization for sure, but one that’s more accurate than not I’d wager).
I got plenty out of it myself. Sex with gorgeous, and I MEAN GORGEOUS women!
Good times, good times! That was money well spent.
@The Wet One,… Great. But, it was not about you. It was about her. It was all about the sex. Not the “attention, the caring and attention to details.” As a man, I am sure it was simply great. Only a few men would not like to screw beautiful women and get paid for it, myself included. I am not a fan of prostitution. But that’s me. I cannot fathom the idea of having sex with a woman who has screwed hundreds of men, regardless of how she looks.. Just disgusting in my mind. But given how f ‘ed up… Read more »
I think that you misunderstood me. I was the one who was paying. I don’t see how it was about her. As for a woman who’s screwed hundreds of men, eh, doesn’t both me. Wear the glove. Think of how much of the air you breath is other people’s (and animals) fart. That’s gross. If a woman’s had a few partners (or a few hundred), it really makes no factual difference. If you’re going to bring up the disease angle (which is a real risk, but it’s the same risk everywhere you get sex unless she’s a virgin, which is… Read more »
I’m really curious why you and other women think that the male escorts are *pretending* to be attracted to you, or pretending to be affectionate. The exchange of money alone doesn’t make it fake. I’m sure there are exceptions, but I would think that anyone who makes escorting a career does it because they enjoy it – to the extent of enjoying having sex with a variety of people and bodies with varying attractiveness, and they enjoy being of service to their client’s needs. When a customer service rep at, let’s say, your bank is friendly, professional, and provides you… Read more »
@KKZ… Let’s look at the flip side of this equation. Do you think the female escorts are really attracted to the men they are having sex with? Or do you think they are pretending to be as professional as possible? Or because they enjoy the variety of sex with a variety of men? It just cannot be the money that makes them pretend? I look at some men who have admitted using sex workers and I asked myself, “I wonder what she thought when he came through the door?” Some were, for lack of a better term, pretty pathetic looking… Read more »
@The Wet One….
“……. What you’re paying for is the attention, the care and attention to detail..”
BS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think for a woman that’s the case. That’s what the interviewed woman says. I chose to take her at her word. Why wouldn’t you? This: “Sexual experiences are what you make of them and whether it’s with an escort or not. I have had some nights with my companions which were so fantastic I thought I might explode. It’s a good thing on those occasions I could extend my booking because I just wanted more and more. The difference with having sex with an escort compared to picking up, whether the partner is drunk or not, is that with… Read more »
If it is what you make of it, why not strive to make it as good in a non-paying relationship?
This rationalization that the interviewee(…?) makes, she makes it sound more like “It is what your partner makes of it”…
Because sometimes you have neither the time, the skill or the interest in making it as good in a non-paying relationship. You want sex, easy good sex right now. And you have the money to pay.
It’s just that simple. Why pay for it? Because it’s worth it. Period.
Kudos! Well put!
@The Wet One… I am not disputing this aspect of it. Same for men who go for female escorts, “easy, good sex right now.” However, what I am challenging is: “……. What you’re paying for is the attention, the care and attention to detail..” Now that’s pure rubbish! Let Mr. Escort show up without a properly functioning c**ck. We will then see if the woman is paying for “the attention, the care and attention to detail.” People (men and women) pay sex workers for sex, period. All this other rubbish is just “noise.” Btw, even porn actresses indicate they find… Read more »
Well, okay then. I’m sure the male escorts who service women, don’t pay attention to details. Because women are all about men who are sloppy and ignore their needs and are selfish lovers. I’m sure that their clients (the women) are quite happy to get what they can get for free at any bar anytime, anywhere. That makes complete economic sense. I mean, why go for free, when you can get the same lousy product with a pricetag? I’m talking about men servicing women here, not the reverse. Men are not quite so discriminating as women as you might know… Read more »
@The Wet One… “Men are not quite so discriminating as women as you might know when it comes to their sex partners.” In general I might be inclined to agree with you. However, you must be using a very very loose definition of “discriminating’? When it comes to sex for a lot of women (not all), all she need is to find him attractive and safe. He can be a thug, a jerk, unemployed……a lot of women just do not care. Why? She only wants sex! Hell, she may not even want to see him again! So, this “discriminating” thingy… Read more »
Whether or not they’re more discriminating, it’s a fact that women are harder to get off than men. Most men will have an orgasm if they have a partner they find attractive who is willing to do it with them. Only a quarter of women can often have orgasms during intercourse, many never have an orgasm from intercourse alone. Different women need different types of stimulation to get off. There is no guarantee the man at the bar will be interested in learning how, or be able to do it the first time. So, I’m sure this is part of… Read more »
I couldn’t agree with this more. Thank you for writing it!
“Hot guys, safe sex, no strings attached, willing and able, what more could you want?”
Real intimacy where I don’t have to pay someone to pretend to be interested me for starters.
When you’re in a desert of interest, fake interest ain’t so bad. Believe you me. I’ve done the same and I don’t regret a single red cent paid. Authenticity is all good and all that, but sometimes, you just don’t have the wherewithal to get it for whatever reason. But you have cash. Problem somewhat fixed and a joyful time was had.
It’s just that simple.
Sorry, that wouldn’t work for me. I have spent years single and have been rejected by men before. Sure, I was lonely and wanted affection but paying for fake affection would feel dishonest and disrespectful to myself. It would not make me happier. I don’t pay people to pretend they like me. I can use a little self control and hold out when I need to until I actually find that person that does really like me.
I try to live my life authentically. Paying for affection would go against that authenticity for me.
@Erin…
Good for you!
Sure, whatevs…
Awesomely mature response. Job well done Wet One.
Thanks!
In other words, you want strings attached. That’s what “real intimacy” creates.
But for those who do want no strings attached, the escort experienced described here does sound ideal.