Exactly 367 days ago, a woman I met on OkCupid completely changed my life forever.
I never had a conversation with her and, to this day, I have no idea what her name is. This random woman gave me the courage to take the leap of faith and talk to a beautiful woman I had a crush on for years.
Before that, I had a lot of ‘what if’ moments in my life. Situations and decisions where I wasn’t sure what to do and have always wondered what would have happened if I choose another path.
This woman from OkCupid gave me the courage to finally talk to that beautiful girl from college who is now my fiancée. Let me start from the beginning.
I Spent Hours A Day On Dating Apps
I was Crushing Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid like it was my job.
I used to test creative openers, funny bio’s and different pictures for hours a day. Before you get angry, I wasn’t manipulative, mean, or misleading about any of this. I just enjoyed being creative and I’m certain 95% of the women I interacted with had better days and more laughs because of it.
Little did I know that I was practicing my copywriting skills on women ages 24-35 within 5 miles of Manhattan.
I was getting sick and tired of the same old dating profiles from hundreds of women ‘looking for a nice guy’ to save them from all the jerks out there, but when the nice guy shows up, it was never enough.
One night, I matched with a girl on OkCupid who changed my life. For those of you who aren’t into the online dating thing, that means we liked each other.
Remember, I mentioned my fiancée? Her name is Lauren, and we actually met years earlier in college but I was too afraid to talk to her back then.
But She Was Different
I thought she was one of the most beautiful people I ever met in my life. There was something different about her and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Lauren wasn’t like other girls I met when I was in college. She had long curly blonde hair, a sexy hourglass figure, and a smile that would light up the room.
At the time we met, I was in a different relationship. Even after that relationship ended, I was too intimidated to talk to Lauren.
Look at her (photo above is us), why the would she talk to me?
Like most men, the more I liked a girl, the harder it was for me to strike up a conversation with her. I was too busy making up situations in my mind so my expectations were higher and the fear of rejection became even more terrifying.
Every guy knows this feeling from some point; some are better at overcoming that fear.
A few years passed and nothing happened. We never connected. We never talked. We both went on living our lives.
Lauren when on to become teacher and I traveled before settling down in New York City as a personal trainer and online fitness coach.
I Was Sick Of Wondering ‘What If’
In July of 2015, I went to San Diego for an event for male fitness entrepreneurs who felt stuck in their life. This event literally changed my life. I made the decision to not let regret or fear hold me back anymore.
I didn’t want to think “what if” for the rest of my life.
Then, one night, I was going through my usual online dating ritual before bed and I met the woman on OkCupid who completely changed my life forever.
Maybe it was her eyes. Maybe it was her lips. Maybe it was her smile. To this day, I couldn’t tell you exactly what it was.
But there was still one big “what if” lurking around in the back of my head. I never talked to the tall beautiful blonde I met in college. I never talked to Lauren.
What if there was something there?
This random woman on OkCupid, whom I had never met or talked to in my entire life, gave me an in.
The two women didn’t really look similar, but it gave me enough courage to screenshot the picture and message it to Lauren on Facebook:
Lauren and I chatted for two weeks and then had our first date. Less than 1 week later we had our second date and while eating fish tacos at Calexico (my favorite fish tacos in New York City) she was telling me stories of her students at school.
I had two emotional bombs drop in my head:
- She was a saint, I could never be a teacher.
- This was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
I took a chance, and that woman I was scared to talk to in college is my fiance.
Earlier in this article, I said I love the woman I met on OkCupid but what I really mean is that I am thankful she gave me the ‘in’ that I needed with Lauren.
For the record, the beautiful, blonde, fishy-faced girl in the photo above with me is the one I was afraid of.
Here’s Why You Should Care
We all face decisions in life that are tough and painful to make. We can analyze them for days but there are no obvious action steps to take. We all get that unsettling feeling in our gut and think ‘what if.’ These tough decisions in life aren’t always obvious and sometimes they’re painful.
Sometimes we need a boost in the right direction to get us started.
For you that might be finally making the commitment to go to the gym, hire a trainer, start a company, write a book, or in my case spending a ton of money to go to an event that got me past a few self-limiting barriers so I could ask the hot girl on a date and then marry her . . .
Consider this permission to do that ONE big thing that scares you…
Because you never know what is going to happen.
Photos courtesy of the author