Life just happens. It often just passes us by.
And in our busyness, be it work, marriage or raising kids, we often focus on what’s immediately in front of us, instead of what’s really important to us.
As a result, we often lose our partner like a passing ship in the night. We don’t know when it happened but it happened.
We struggle to connect emotionally. And we find that we’re asking ourselves…
Who is this person I’m married to?
In the day-to-day of life, she’s stressed, doesn’t have enough time for everything. Or we’re feeling that.
And in the cross-traffic of our busyness, we continue to lose each other, take each other for granted, and even worse, blame each other for our distance.
Do you feel lonely in your relationship?
Maybe you’ve had enough of it. Maybe you’ve tried a bunch of ways to reverse the tide.
Maybe nothing seems to work. Or maybe you don’t even know what you lost.
From coaching men over the years, I can tell you, chances are you lost connection. You lost the sense of sharing a life together.
You’ve fallen into the loneliness of what I call the ‘unlived life of the couple.’
Unlived. Jeez, sounds grim.
Yet there’s hope. When you make a simple effort, you can become two ships meeting in the night.
And in time, you may even experience this awesome thing. The more connected you and your wife are, the more powerful you both are, together.
With connection, you have a superpower, a jet propulsion. When there is connection, you feel like you can take on just about anything together – kids, work, stress.
Still, you may be saying to yourself, I have no f*#king idea how to make that happen with her.
But while we often think it’s about time, it’s ultimately about motivation. And when you realize your marriage impacts not just you and your wife, but your family and your kids, the stakes change.
When you’re energized and connected as a couple, that fruit bears great gifts not just for you and your partner, but for your kids as well. In fact, your connection as a couple is the bedrock of your family.
If you’re weak as a couple, the chances of your family falling apart are much greater.
Do you ever worry about your family falling apart?
As we often think of our kids and our partners as competing interests, what I’m about to tell you will seem counterintuitive.
The best way to invest in the well-being of your kids and the strength of your family is to invest in your wife.
Carl Jung once said, “Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on the children than the unlived life of the parent.”
Do you have an unlived life with your wife?
Let me be clear. The unlived life of the parent is also the unlived life of the couple. The couple that misses one another. The couple that feels lonely.
Judging on today’s divorce rates, I can confidently say, we are living in a nation of couples with unlived lives. And that looks like two frantic individuals going it alone, trying to cobble together a family.
Have you given up on creating meaningful connection with your wife?
Consider what it would take to create that connection. You can do it in the briefest of moments. It’s the little things that add up.
Put an end to being two ships missing each other in the night.
Are you unknowingly sabotaging your relationship?
Discover if that’s true for you in the video below.
When you connect emotionally with your wife:
- You reduce distrust and anxiety.
- You create a stronger foundation for your kids.
- And you no longer have an unlived life as a couple.
Do you want to transform your family and your marriage?
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Previously Published on stuartmotola.com and is republished on Medium.
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