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We talked right over by my desk and I was thinking about it all day.
I definitely have more important things to do than watch random videos on Oprah on why she’s so successful. But nowadays I think about Oprah and how much I love her like a lot, so I’m proud of the time I spend on it.
That morning I decided to put what I learned in the video into practice. I already am a huge empath and usually have an easy time getting people to open up, but I realized there was a whole other aspect of it.
It’s basically making prolonged eye-contact. Not staring, per-say, but instead of letting my eyes wander and staring and the carpet while speaking, I tried looking into her eyes as much as possible.
Which would be romantic if I uh-liked women, but the effect was interesting. Because I very clearly had an impact. I had felt myself gain a little authority. Even better, the conversation felt…closer.
It also made me extremely conscious of a guy begging for money on the street. Generally, in these situations, I can’t not look at the person. It’s like I know I shouldn’t make eye contact and I do it anyway. But for whatever reason I saw him in my peripheral vision, looked straight ahead and heard his voice stop just as soon as it started.
I hadn’t really thought about my eyes in that way. Especially since, most of the time, I’m only conscious of them when I’m tearing up or ripping a scratched contact out of my eye.
But it felt like power. Some sort of authority. I think I needed that.
Girl, I need as much as I can get.
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This post was previously published on www.theascent.pub and is republished here with permission from the author.
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