If today is your day. Or mine. What will you change? How will you treat those around you? What will you spend your moments on?
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“There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man’s whole life is a succession of moment after moment. There will be nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue. Live being true to the single purpose of the moment.”
― Tsunetomo Yamamoto, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai
A friend killed himself. Monday, October 19, 2015, was his day. Typically I don’t spend much time pondering my mortality, but this was a bit of a gut punch. We were friends through work, not super close, but I liked the guy. You never expect to hear that news about anyone you know.
In it, he implores them to consider death every day as their first duty.
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So, that gut punch. It makes you realize that all too often, and in too many areas, that you are on cruise control in this life. Wem as a people, seem to pursue perpetual distraction. Any kind of distraction will do most of the time. We throw ourselves into our work, though poorly most of the time. We bend our head to look at our electronic pacifiers becoming incessant voyeurs, ignoring the people that are right beside us. Distractions and minutia, all contending for our time and stealing our life away by the minute.
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Hagakure was written by Yamamoto in the early 1700’s as a guide to the young warriors of his time who had seemingly begun to lose their way. Their society had changed from one dominated by their culture to one beginning to embrace the culture of the west, and the samurai along with their traditions, and purpose were becoming the things of the past.
In it, he implores them to consider death every day as their first duty. Why on earth should anyone think about death every day you ask? Because, if a warrior was truly prepared to die that day, he had set his mind to live fully in the moment. To not take things for granted. To honor the people he served by being fully present. By doing everything as if it were the last time, he would do it.
This has always struck me as profound. It takes everything in your life to the bleeding edge of your purpose and lifts relationships back to their right place. For example, my kids just want me to tickle them, carry them around, read books and play. My wife wants me to look into her eyes, to hear what she is saying to me both spoken and not. My work wants my full heart and effort poured into it, not some semi-aware half effort of concentration. My friends want me to laugh with them, undertake shenanigans, enjoy a beer, to check in with them and connect. They need me to dig deeper and be present when I know that an answer of “I’m fine” is a weak sauce answer, and the truth is something else.
This isn’t to say that we must live in such a spartan way as to have no distractions at all. Distraction, down time and play, are incredibly important. But, instead of relentlessly pursuing whimsy and nonsense, play at the things you always wish you had time for. The matters of enjoyment that will actually add to your life. Instead of that impressive ability to surf the internet, how about I take the much more needed break and crank out pushups or go for a run? Cook a good meal, read one of the many books that is stacked up and waiting?
I’m not just talking about redeeming time, and trading one habit for another. The biggest concept is to not live a life where you will come to the end and have massive regrets for the things you have ignored and left undone. It is not enough to know that you have just lived. What will you and I pass on? How will we be remembered?
These are tough questions. I’ve learned too often the hard way, that the ability to deal with the tough questions and situations make tough men. We all can have a purpose, and our life can have great meaning if we decide to. That is really what separates the men from the boys, in all things.
It is notable that the word samurai translates into servant or to serve. Even though they were considered the upper echelon of their society, their purpose was to serve their overlord as well as those under their protection, with their very lives. They lived by a creed, like so many other warrior groups have and continue to do. As men, I believe our highest pursuit of life should be to serve. I know this is a point that seems overused and commonplace in the areas of leadership and business, but I promise you that the man who authentically serves those in his life is rare. It is not that the desire is not there, but pursuing the practice takes real effort.
This is where the battle lies. Chasing a life of service in the midst of constant distraction. It all comes down to the reasons we have. Yours will be very different than mine. No less significant, though. The final question for us all is this.
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ay this be the gut punch you need without losing someone to remind you.
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If today is your day. Or mine. What will you change? How will you treat those around you? What will you spend your moments on? What will distractions you choose to renounce? Who will you make amends with? Who will you drop everything for and go see? How will you be more aware of your surroundings?
Go, do and be.
May you wake up from your slumber of unrealized apathy and indifference.
May you dig deep and find your worth, and use that knowledge to help others.
May this be the gut punch you need without losing someone to remind you.
May you love greatly.
May you be thankful.
May you stay humble.
May you be strong.
May you be passionately purposeful.
May you be kind.
May you, and I live as if today is the day.
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Photo: Flickr/ Sergiy Zavarykin