Dillan DiGiovanni thinks that when stuff all starts to hit the fan that you can check out and give up. Or…you can do something else entirely.
Is this sentence familiar to you, too?
No? Just me?
OK. Maybe you have your own version of it. Take a look.
What do you say when you’re completely fed up, done, overwhelmed, frustrated, annoyed and hopeless?
This is what I say: “I don’t need this s*%!”. It’s my back door. My exit strategy. It gets me off the hook and I’m no longer responsible.
I don’t have to be compassionate when someone calls me female pronouns, despite that fact that I’ve corrected the person five times in a year. We even had a sit-down about it. And he’s in a leadership role. Yeah, I know.
I don’t have to accept that I didn’t manage my time well and rushed my grad school paper and that’s why I got a less than awesome grade.
I don’t have to wake up early (like 5:30 am, early) to write blog posts and put my newsletter together because my schedule is packed tighter than a tin of sardines lately.
Basically, I don’t have to be who I need to be to do what I want to do in this life.
Guess what? You don’t have to, either. You can actually make the decision to be, do and have anything you want. You can be as angry and nasty or as kind and compassionate as you choose. You can blame, judge and criticize people as much as you want or you can treat them with love, respect and patience. You can avoid timelines, deadlines, move commitments around, cancel appointments you make for yourself and with others. You can forget to call your mom.
You can do all of these things. Or none of them. The only thing that gets in your way is you. But the opposite is also true. The only thing that can make anything possible, is you.
My life changed when I heard myself say, “I don’t need this s*%!” and realized it was true, but it was also an access to realizing that in fact, I DID need it, in some way. I saw that each time I felt stopped, stuck or limited in some way—either in my words or behavior–it was a lesson. It was like someone pressed PAUSE so I could actually see myself stuck. I could decide, in that moment, what I wanted to do with the opportunity being presented. Why was I feeling challenged, annoyed, frustrated or hopeless?
Often we get stopped when we’re up against our own growth. It means we either see something about ourselves that isn’t so awesome or we might feel vulnerable in some way, open to being wounded or hurt by someone.
Sometimes we see how awesome our lives might be if we keep being our awesome selves, even if it takes a lot of work. That’s intense. It can be tempting to quit.
Next time you hear yourself say ‘your thing’ ask yourself if perhaps you really do need it in some way. Try to rise above and see yourself in a 360 degree view. What is this moment or experience teaching you? What are you seeing that you couldn’t before? What can you do differently to change your life for the better?
Get frustrated. Life is hard sometimes. But it’s all about how and what you choose to do with it. When you see yourself as responsible for your life, you’ll hear yourself and ‘your thing’ in a different way. But don’t miss a lesson for growth when it hits you smack in the face. At least use that s*%! for something useful.