You’re in love, you can’t keep your hands off each other … but is that enough?
So you think you might be ready to take the marriage plunge? Before you jump into the biggest decision of your life, consider this ‘Are your ready?’ checklist written by a 25-year marriage veteran.
Marriage is the adventure of a lifetime but it could be a dreadful adventure or a glorious one. Doing some premarital soul searching is one of the best ways to make sure you are making a good decision.
If you are hesitant, it might be a good time to seek some help with a coach or a counselor to help you navigate your way to a healthy, happy relationship.
As great as that stage is, it isn’t how life goes. You need to love your partner out of bed as much as you love them in bed. Both are important for a happy marriage so you want to make sure that they are both in good working order.
Brain studies suggest that our brains aren’t fully developed until we are 25 and thus our decision-making may be a bit sluggish.
If not, it’s time to do that right this minute. Get your head out of the sand and address the issues that may become bigger issues later. You’re never going to find a partner that doesn’t have a few red flags so you have to decide if you can live with the flags they have or not.
Take it from a marriage veteran; getting married with the hopes of changing your partner is doomed to fail! Either accept them as is or end the relationship.
Will you have children? If so, how many? How much time will you spend with extended family? What role will they play in your lives? Religion? These are the issues that often lead to arguments between couples.
Will you share in both parenting duties as well as working outside of the home duties? What if one of your careers requires a move? Talking openly and honestly about them and not assuming you know the answer will be crucial to future marital harmony.
Marriage, when done right, is a marathon and you need to pace yourself. To stay together for the long haul you really need to enjoy each other’s company.
Can you see being happy for the rest of your life having sex with just this one person? If not, can you have a conversation about what needs to happen – either in the relationship or within yourself – for that to be true?
Will your potential partner support (or even be part of) your dreams and goals? Giving up any major aspect of yourself in order to make someone happy is a really awful idea and will ultimately sever your relationship.
This article originally appeared on Your Tango. For more like this from Your Tango, try: