“I’m just asking questions!”
No four words in the English language, placed together in a single sentence, can so clearly demonstrate one’s commitment to quasi-intellectual douchebaggery as these.
You’ll hear it from all manner of assholes and grifters.
Like the ones trying to sell you their miracle COVID cure involving bleach or nebulized hydrogen peroxide, who insist that the only reason the FDA hasn’t approved it is because “Big Pharma paid them off.”
No, they have no studies to back up the treatment’s efficacy, and no, there is no evidence that the FDA has deviously squashed the science behind it. But hey, “they’re just asking questions.”
“What?” They ask, smugly. “Are you opposed to open inquiry?”
Or like the ones who stick metal objects on their neck or cheek to prove COVID vaccines magnetize skin, and when those objects inevitably fall off, keep insisting the theory is true.
At least it might be true. How can you know for sure? They ask.
Remember, they’re just asking questions.
Or like the ones insisting the 2020 election was stolen by Chinese or perhaps Italian satellites flipping votes, possibly with the help of Nest thermostats.
Evidence? Well, no, not exactly.
But hey, many people feel very strongly that Trump won, they reply. So it would be irresponsible not to investigate every possible angle, right?
The iterations are endless, and always enraging.
We’re not trying to give Hitler a pass, bro; we’re just wondering if it might have been possible to fake the Holocaust with crisis actors and mannequins?
Same with Sandy Hook.
We’re not saying 9/11 was definitely an inside job, but did ya see Bush’s face when they told him about it in the school where he was reading to the kids? He didn’t seem shocked — more like he knew it was going down, because he’d planned the whole thing with his ex-CIA Director dad.
I mean, it could have happened, right?
Or hell, maybe the planes were holograms and the whole thing was just a controlled demolition. We can’t know for sure, can we?
We’re just asking if it’s possible Black people might be genetically inferior to white people, that’s all. Why are you trying to shut down the debate?
Is it conceivable women are naturally subordinate to men? I mean, it’s just a question. Why so defensive?
And how can you be so sure that trans women aren’t just guys who like to wear dresses and go into women’s rooms to molest little girls? I mean, it’s possible, right?
Jeez, just doing our due diligence here!
Why do you believe in censorship? Why are you trying to cancel us?
Every time someone spews horseshit for which they have no evidence — like a conspiracy theory about the Moon landing, the shape of the Earth, or the sexual habits of leading Democrats — this is the place to which they retreat if challenged enough.
If pressed for facts or proof, they will eventually throw up their hands, tell you to “do your own research,” break free from the “sheeple,” and learn to ask questions like they do.
Because the “powers that be” don’t like it when you ask questions. And this is why we must ask them, no matter how maniacal and unhinged.
According to this way of thinking, skepticism is, by definition, a sign of deep thought and independence.
Unless it involves being skeptical of a known liar like Donald Trump, in which case we should never ask questions about anything he says.
Unless it involves being skeptical of people who swear there’s a sex dungeon in the basement of a DC pizza parlor. In that case, there is no need for doing one’s research — like, for instance, a Google search that would have revealed there was no basement in that fucking pizza parlor.
Unless it involves being skeptical of a psychotic grifter telling you to come to Dealey Plaza to await the return of a not-assassinated JFK, who, despite now being 105, has been actively battling pedophiles in some witness protection program in Scottsdale or some shit.
In that case, no questions are necessary. In fact, asking them reveals one’s complicity with the Illuminati/Bilderberger/Trilateral Commission globalists who are actively delivering toddlers to Jeffrey Epstein’s island where, slathered in a red pepper and adrenochrome coulis, Bill Clinton consumes them after their faces are peeled off and given to Hillary to wear as a mask.
. . .
Look, I’m not saying I want to tie these people to a gurney and forcibly inject them with Thorazine.
I’m just sorta “forcibly-restrain-your-moonbat-ass-and-medicate-you” curious.
See the difference? By the way, that was a question. So settle down.
Like, I would never say we should actually dig up Rush Limbaugh so that we can kill him and bury him again.
But I sometimes wonder about the science behind re-animating a rotting corpse and whether we could make it a national holiday.
Like the Purge.
Hey now, it’s a hypothetical. So just back off, thought police.
I’m not saying I want the government to confiscate all your guns while you scream and cry and wail like a toddler on your front lawn, but I do have a question.
Namely, how priceless would that be? Seriously.
Never mind, I already know the answer to that one.
This post was previously published on Tim Wise’s blog.
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