I’m often surprised by the things I regret. From random incidents to missed opportunities to flubbed conversations, many have clung to my psyche. They often haunt me.
Dwelling in the past and thinking about the ‘what ifs’ always drains me of my energy, and steals from me valuable time that I could have used productively.
Thankfully, I have vowed not to let history repeat itself. Here is how I converted regret into wisdom.
1. Create Opportunities For Yourself
Recently, some of my enthusiastic colleagues organized a large networking event providing a platform for young people to freely interact with the most senior executives of Applied Materials.
Memories were created, career options were discussed, ideas were brainstormed and connections were made.
Organizing this event meant doing a lot more than the job they were hired for. They put in the effort, and are now the face of the company. From internal corporate branding to external advertising, their thoughts and experiences are shared with everyone.
But more than just being in the spotlight, their efforts have enabled them to create good relationships with key decision-makers throughout the firm. These relationships put them in an excellent position for speedier career progression. They now have direct access to resources that can give them opportunities to explore their passions, and maybe even help land them their dream job.
Most working people do a fantastic job of completing assigned tasks. But in today’s extremely competitive world, the self-starters who do more, get more. If you invest time in contributing to events or projects that will help your company and its employees progress, you will in turn see bigger personal gains.
2. Forget About Burning Bridges, Be Proactive In Reinforcing Them
I admire one of my previous housemates for his proactiveness in staying connected with me. One text a week and maybe a phone call every other month to catch up.
We often get absorbed in our lives and lose touch with many people along the way. But pushing ourselves to maintain relationships can do us wonders.
This friend recently lost his job. I remember the day he called me to break the news and ask for help. I also remember going all out to help him to the best of my ability. I reached out to all the engineering managers I knew in the industry and put in a good word for him. I’m certain he had an army of well-wishers who vouched for him. It is no wonder that he got a job of his choice 3 weeks later.
Convert acquaintances into first-degree connections, and nurture established connections regularly. Someone who you met passingly a few months ago, might help you close your next big deal.
3. You Can’t Afford To Be Shy
I am a very shy person and it has cost me a great deal. I started my career in media sales. Being the shyest person in the group, I had the hardest time voicing my opinions in meetings and engaging with clients.
This affected my performance as I was always nervous while interacting with prospects. I fumbled with my words and actions, made unimpactful presentations, and would tremble like a leaf. I was lucky to have not lost my job given the number of deals I flubbed.
If I wanted to continue there, I needed to adapt. So I had to repeatedly push myself to enter uncomfortable situations, learn from them, and become a better salesman day by day.
As professionals, we can’t afford to be shy.
It’s never great when you knew that your idea might have solved that hard problem everyone has been working on for days. If only you had spoken up during the meeting!
It certainly sucks to be underappreciated for your contributions. If only you had mentioned to others the lengths you went to get that task done!
It is demotivating to be assigned work you absolutely hate doing. If only you had set up that one-on-one with your supervisor to discuss career goals!
4. Protect Your Time. Allocate it Wisely
One of my classmates has been looking for a better-paying job for the last 18 months. When good opportunities present themselves, he tends to fare poorly and gets rejected right after the initial interview.
When I offered to be his study buddy, I realized why he wasn’t progressing. Many of his weekday evenings were lost to distractions, including social media. On other days, he just hadn’t properly managed his time well and would extend his working hours past bedtime. In addition, he lost his golden weekends to partying and going out.
His unfulfilling and low-paying job frustrates him. I wish he starts plugging major leaks in his time.
When I was in my mid-twenties, I tried starting an FMCG business. Progress was stagnant from the onset and I ultimately wound up. Sometime after that, I met a fairly successful entrepreneur and asked him why people get stuck. He said, “show me your calendar and I’ll show you why you failed”.
5. Treat Your Time With Your Loved Ones As Sacred
In both my teens and early twenties, I almost lost my mother twice to major illnesses. Now, more than ever before, I’m realizing how lucky I am to still have time with her. So I’ve made it a point to carve out more time to spend with her.
My grandparents are getting old and I know that our time together can’t go on forever. So I ensure that I make enough time to be with them, create memories and learn from their experiences. While there still are people whom I can call grandma and grandpa, I want to be spoiled as often as possible.
Don’t miss out on spending time with your loved ones. That one thing about them that annoys you might be the thing that you miss the most.
6. Don’t Follow Someone Else’s Definition of Your Life
When I was in engineering college, I knew that I wasn’t fully committed to pursuing a profession in that field. Back then, I remember how keenly interested I was in pursuing a career in sports. And I was good at it. But I gave in to societal pressure and reluctantly moved away from it.
Whether or not I succeeded as a sportsman is a different thing. Either way, I would have worked hard and invested myself in something that fulfilled me.
It took me a long time to appreciate the profession I am in and find fulfillment. But in the process, I have lost time regretting not trying something I was passionate about.
In my lifetime, I have met several people, particularly from India, who would rather not be working in tech, finance, or healthcare. Their heart is elsewhere. Often in the arts, in teaching, in sports, or public service. Imagine the wonderful work they would have done in these other fields of their choice!
Just the other day, I reconnected with a friend who finds herself stuck as a network admin. Back in the day, she took it up because she felt it is a respectable way to make a steady income. But she dislikes working in a silo. She loves people. Interacting with others brings out the best in her. In her heart, she always wanted to be in a people-oriented role. I hope she gives it a shot. Worst case, she will fail miserably but learn a ton from trying.
Define your narrative for the life of your choice and live by it. Do what makes you happy.
7. Wear Clothes That Make You Look And Feel Smart
Clothes don’t define a person but they make up 90% of what you see of them.
In my late teens, I often compromised on the way I presented myself. My clothes never fit me well. They were generally too loose. They made me underappreciate myself. Therefore, I was always uncomfortable meeting people.
When we dress well, it shows effort was taken. We feel confident about ourselves and present the best versions of ourselves.
People generally treat you the way you see yourself.
So when we put on smart attire, people are drawn to us. They instantly pick up on our dressing and treat us as a valued person.
Recap for memory: The 5 things I wish I had done more of are:
- Growth opportunities have to be created.
- Take effort in staying connected with your peers and associates.
- If you are shy, work towards overcoming it.
- Dress smartly, but it doesn’t have to be lavish.
- Protect your time.
- Treat your time with your loved ones as sacred.
- Live a life of your choice.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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