Are you feeling guilty for not being able to make a success of your marriage?
Do you resent yourself for the mistakes you made?
Do you wish you handled things differently?
Do you see the hurt in your child’s eyes and hate yourself for doing this to them?
Do you believe you failed your child for not providing a secure, loving home?
Are you disappointed in yourself for not being emotionally strong enough to cope with the divorce?
Are you ashamed of the way you have been fighting your ex-spouse through the divorce process?
Beware of indulging in the destruction of self-blame as it keeps our cortisol levels high and makes us sick. It does not serve you or anyone else in your life. Rather, accept unconditionally that you did your best in every circumstance and own your mistakes.
“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”
– Elisha Goldstein (Author of Uncovering Happiness)
Forgive yourself! Put it behind you! Move on!
Developing compassion for yourself and finding your purpose in life, will give you resilience and confidence with far better results than anti-depressants.
The beauty of forgiveness is that it only takes one to tango. You can forgive one person – yourself – and the ability to gracefully forgive others will follow.
A version of this post was originally published on FairDivorce.co.za and is republished here with permission of the author.
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