Remember those precious moments in the 90’s when people actually had conversations at parties and weren’t glued to their smartphones, browsing the internet while being surrounded by a zoopocalypse of personalities and attractive bodies? Yea I remember those days, but unfortunately some members of our society are being swayed away from those impactful interactions. I guess you can thank the new drug: Pornography addiction
With the advancement towards high speed Internet as well as free access to porn, our world is now slowly turning into instant gratification slaves. The internet in general has given us so much simple access to almost any question we could ponder about, which in one hand is fantastic and efficient, but in the other is incredibly psychologically dangerous.
The thing is, our brain doesn’t really know the difference: It wants dopamine, and as our society is an inherently lazy place, why work on natural attraction when we can just get it from an effortless click of the mouse?
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In an idealistic society, males and females are supposed to be attracted to each other, thanks to things like gravity and biology. These days, it seems like people prefer their technological interactions more than the natural societal conversations people have every day. As much as we can appreciate the internet for making so many things simpler, we have to be wary of the fact that it trains our brains to see effort as pointless. Why read an entire chapter of a book when we can just Sparknote it? Why try and solve a puzzle or create something unique when we can just copy pasta straight from a site? Why in hell would we try and pursue the opposite sex if instead, just by the click of a button, we can see infinitely many hot videos and gratify ourselves by masturbation. The thing is, our brain doesn’t really know the difference: It wants dopamine, and as our society is an inherently lazy place, why work on natural attraction when we can just get it from an effortless click of the mouse?
Good news brain, our successful world is formed on the concept of delayed gratification: work, school, athletics and practically anything that involves action trains your brain to delay gratification.
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Now you might be thinking that I’m taking this to the extreme, and in sense I am. People obviously still get married, have relationships, have sex, love, affection and all that jazz, but the main concern here is that we as a society are blindly being guided towards effortless gratification.
Since the age of 14, I have basically been a pornography addict. I’ve memorized so many damn aliases of these pornstars, that I spent no time pursuing actual girls. Only after so many things had gone wrong, I finally realized that things needed to change. After browsing the internet reading about depression and motivation, I stumbled across a subreddit: NoFap. This thread challenges its participants to avoid the deadly trio of PMO: Porn, Masturbation and Orgasm. In theory, after attempting the challenge and fighting off the intense dopamine cravings, a lot of things change inside of you as a person.
You start feeling more energized and confident throughout your day, and the vice of social anxiety starts to recede. Daily conversations become more pleasant and less of a hassle, and the ambition to pursue new goals or relationships grows steadily. The dread of waking up in the morning and going to work fades, and is replaced with thoughts of opportunity and excitement. In general, you start to feel more ALIVE.
When the brain is told NO and instant gratification is taken out of the picture, that’s when it starts to reform. Since the brain has no easy source of dopamine, it’s forced to create new routes towards fulfilling those cravings, and that’s the initial step to the golden path. Good news brain, our successful world is formed on the concept of delayed gratification: work, school, athletics and practically anything that involves action trains your brain to delay gratification.
Unfortunately, our dopamine junkie brains listen to these signals and follow them around like a zombie follows a piece of meat.
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A porn addict picks up a basketball for the first time and takes a shot and misses, then he takes and second and whiffs even harder. At this point his brain is telling him: “why are you wasting your time with this? Go home, smoke a joint, and kick back to some hot porn action.” Unfortunately, our dopamine junkie brains listen to these signals and follow them around like a zombie follows a piece of meat.
Meanwhile a Gratification Fighter (as I like to call our type) will pick up that damn basketball and take shots for hours until he starts feeling the rhythm. Afterwards when he’s chilling at home thinking about his day and those few adrenaline-filled hours of pick-up basketball, there’s a chance he might come to the realization that he might have just found his new passion, or it could have been just a few unique hours of excitement. Regardless of his conclusion towards that activity, the pure concept of not giving up through rough beginning is where he tasted the sweetness of delayed gratification.
So if you are a high school or college student, or even just an individual that thinks that porn addiction might be ruining your life, I dare you to attempt the noFap challenge. It may sound stupid to you, but hey, don’t knock it till you try it!
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Photo: Getty Images
Great article. As much as some people want to deny it, the consequences of porn viewing are real and are negative. Those who disagree ought to simply take you up on your challenge to just try life without it. It’s much better. For those struggling to overcome a porn/masturbation habit, one new method that really works well is the one in the book Power Over Pornography. Many people are finding success with it.
Thanks!
Never heard of it, but will definitely read it!
Do I dare ask what “Fapping” is?
Slang term for male masturbation.
Congratulations on your recovery. Well done. Insightful piece too.
Plenty of good points, although not news. The anti-masturbation crusade is a trendy topic, chiefly pushed by religious proselytizers and guilt mongers. Phrases like “the deadly trio of PMO” seek to exploit fears and insecurity and guilt. Not unlike those old stories you used to hear about “masturbation will make you go blind.” But this is worse, now it’s actually DEADLY.
Well it is actually ruining couples lives. When the one watching porn is neglecting sexually and emotionally their partner because porn does come first more often in their minds then it’s not exactly ideal. Not to mention lousy sex as sole masturbation takes priority
Incredibly valid, relevant, and well written, thanks!