Being unwilling to forgive can be your greatest disadvantage in life.
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“To not forgive is a decision to suffer.” ~ Gerald Jampolsky
Once upon a time I held on to everything in my life. I had to get even. I had to get justice. I had to be right. I had to tell it like it is.
In every instance that I chose to hang on to my thoughts and feelings about someone or something, I suffered tremendously.
I found this quote from to be true.
Unforgiveness placed me at a disadvantage in life. It closed me to only my perspective. I was unable to see the larger picture unfolding. I was cut off from love and thought I could muscle my way into it somehow. I was wrong.
It doesn’t take much effort to forgive. It takes a willingness to let go of expectations. It takes courage to open up again. But most importantly, it takes trust that the act of forgiveness is for no one else but you.
If I had known the key to peace was releasing people and circumstances so I could heal on the inside, I would have done it a long time ago.
Today is a new day.
If I had known the key to peace was releasing people and circumstances so I could heal on the inside, I would have done it a long time ago.
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Now I know that when I choose to forgive someone and forgive myself, I free another small part of my spirit to be at peace.
I built the resentment up and then I tore it down. So can you.
Now is the greatest time to let go of what is no longer serving your life. Is it time to break away from the chains of unforgiveness?
If so, stand right where you are and say, “So and so, I forgive you for ____________. I release you to be you and I release me from you.”
Feel those words, take them to heart, and allow all of the negative emotion to leave you like rising steam from a locomotive.
See the good in that person and see the good in yourself. Allow your mind and heart to accept the new version of yourself you have just become.
You can give new meaning to the quote, “To not forgive is a decision to suffer.”
Now you can say with confidence, “To forgive is a decision to heal.”
Share how this works for you in the comments below.
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Photo: Flickr/BK
Great article. An unwillingness to forgive held me back from all I was created to be for years. This article hits the nail on the head. Thank you for sharing.
I think that to not forgive is a choice. And that to forgive is also a choice. But there is work associated with it, often, beyond to words of “I forgive you”. Sometimes there is deep emotional work. I like to say that almost always upset occurs in the past. That is to say that my upset with you today is often a trigger of an earlier wound that you have triggered me to remember. So, the forgiveness that I may have with you is going to require that I additionally—at the same time—do the work on the earlier original… Read more »
Good article, by the way.
Teddy, you are indeed correct. Forgiveness does require deeper emotional work and the willingness to let go of the hurt one feels. It’s about looking toward the future free and clear of what has happened before. Thank you for your comment.