Inspiration Unpacked: Perfectionism and Risk Add Up To Reward

What one author had to learn in order to do something she’d never believed was possible.

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“If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.”  ~ Oprah Winfrey

When I read this quote it opened up my world. It made me realize my whole life I had been driven by insecurity and fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. I thought I was never smart enough, pretty enough, or good enough. I lacked the self-confidence I found so special in all of my friends. I gravitated toward them, I suppose, with the hope of being more like them.

However, this lack of self-confidence made me into the person I am today, an over-achiever and perfectionist, two things I truly love about myself. Over the years I have accomplished many amazing things. I am a wife of a wonderful husband and a mother of three fabulous boys. I have a bachelor of science degree in computers and a master’s degree in physical therapy.

With all of that I really could not complain because life was good. We did not want for much and we had each other. But, there was something missing deep inside me. I could not put my finger on it. Wasn’t I destined to do something more with my life?

I tried to think of new endeavors to fill the void. Days passed. Months passed. Years passed. Then it struck me. I have a talent. I may not have as much self-confidence as I have always desired, but I was good at something. I was really, really good at something. In fact, I would go as far as saying I was great at something.

I was a great physical therapist who made an extreme difference in people’s lives. The perfectionist in me wouldn’t allow anything less. I got excellent results consistently and I loved what I was doing.

I actually had the ability to give people their lives back and it was so rewarding.  My specialty is treating men and women with urinary incontinence. As far as my career went, there is nothing more rewarding to me than fixing this problem. Urinary incontinence is a pandemic and is one of the primary causes of nursing home admissions. It is not “a part of getting old” as so many people believe.

However, for every person I cured, there were literally millions more who suffered in silence. And that is when it hit me:  I should write a book. I should teach people all over the world how to prevent and cure urinary incontinence. That was the missing piece to fill the void. I knew it without a doubt. That is what I was meant to do.

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A weight was lifted off my shoulders that day. And just as quickly I was again weighed down. I was not a writer. I hated English class from kindergarten through college. I always had a very limited vocabulary and could absolutely never author a book. My SAT scores in math rocked, but not so much in English. Back to square one.

I battled with myself for many months, but knew deep down inside this was something I had to do. I tried to convince my best friend to help me write it because she is definitely a wordsmith. I believed in her and trusted her. I knew she could make this happen for me. No matter how many times I asked, she declined because she believed in me. Yes, it was time to believe in myself. And so it began. My life would never be the same.

“If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.” Despite how sad it sounds to me, I had never fully believed in myself, until now. In order to write a book, I HAD to learn to believe in myself. I wrote a book of which I am so very proud. It has yet to be published, but I know for a fact it will be this year.  This will happen. It was meant to be. I did it. I. Did. It!

I tried something new. It was scary but exciting at the same time.  It was so much work but so very rewarding. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel as though I have finally grown up. I have spread my wings for the first time in my life and become the person I was meant to be. It took me 49 years to say what I most wanted to hear, “I am proud of me!”

Since then I have opened my own physical therapy practice and have said on a weekly basis, “I love what I do.” I now know my path in life and it has only just begun. Anything is possible as I tell my children every day. I want them to know they have the power to change the world as long as they believe in themselves.

“If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.” This is my mantra. It is how I sign my emails, because it is now my way of life.

You, too, should take a chance. The payoff is amazing.

Read More Inspiration Unpacked on The Good Men Project

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Photo: Flickr/Quinn Dombrowski