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By John Alex Clark
When flirting with someone, we use different body languages to attract that person. But, how do we create such a strong connection without saying so many words?
Many experts believe and say that among the non-verbal communication methods we use to attract a person, eye contact is the most important. Remember those instances and scenes we see on the movies where two unlikely people look into each other’s eyes? During that scene, we see the chemistry. We see the possibilities. This can happen to you, too. But, the question is how.
Well, here’s something I found out about eye contact which can solve this problem. This may very well be the most effective compared to other body languages. I know…because it happened to me!
What I Experienced
Going back a few years from now, I met a girl from my local town. We used to talk and laugh a lot. I didn’t know if it was love or if it was destiny, but I found myself falling for this girl. Big time.
After several meetings, we began dating. However, what started out as something amazing, didn’t turn out as a full-blown relationship like I’d hope it would be. Instead, it just kinda went nowhere… and slowly ended. And then, there was nothing.
I began to wonder what happened. I began to ask questions. Why had something that felt so promising end up like a damp squid? I kept asking myself until it finally dawned on me.
Looking back, I realize that, although the girl was nice, she was, for want of a better word …a bit “slow.” Slow as in not the brightest woman out there. Not that there is anything wrong with this. We are all built with different cognitive capabilities, but this girl’s slowness produced an unusual effect. A few times I noticed there were instances when I was talking to her, and would finish my sentence waiting for her reply… her eyes would linger on me for a few seconds. She would look into my eyes before realizing what I had said and then answer me.
The meeting of our eyes was subtle. Yet, it was quite powerful in drawing me closer to her. And through these little gazes (which there would be a number of over the course of a short conversation), my subconscious was tricked into assuming that she, too, was slowly being drawn to me as I was to her.
Without the both of us knowing, something incredible was building up from these little intimate gazes. These little moments between our gazes slowly built up into an emotional attachment, which led to us going out with each other.
What You Can Do
I have used this little trick since on other women to build an emotional attachment in them for me. And guess what? It works! And the funny thing is that I stumbled upon this trick by accident. But hey, some of the best discoveries out there have been made by accident. Alexander Fleming, for example, discovered penicillin one day in his laboratory, all because of a petri dish he had accidentally left open by a window.
Now, although what I had with this girl lasted only a few weeks, it led me to discover that lingering eye contact like can trick our subconscious into building an emotional attachment in us for someone else.
And this can be enough to get someone you like to want to go out with you. It won’t sustain the relationship afterwards, but it can be enough to springboard your relationship with someone you like from just “friends” to something more.
Then, when you are going out with the person, you are in a position to build attachment, intimacy and love in the same the way couples do once they have finally gotten over that awkward moment where they are no longer friends, but have now started dating. This trick can be enough to get your foot in the door so to speak. From there, the rest is up to you.
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About the Author
John Alex Clark is a Relationship Coach & NLP Practitioner from Dublin Ireland. He is also an entrepreneur, a motivational speaker, and an author. His background in relationship coaching, neuro-linguistic-programming, science, psychology and—perhaps most importantly—innovation have created a unique skill-set which he has concentrated mainly in the field of love psychology. He is recognized as the world’s leading expert in the field of Lovemaps (the field of study into how to make someone fall in love with you).
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“Intimacy Hacks: One Trick to Sparking Chemistry” was originally published with MeetMindful; republished with permission.
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