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Someone once asked me is it possible to fall in love with someone you have yet to meet in person, My response was, “of course, I’m in love with Bradley Cooper and already planning the wedding,” however once we laughed that fantasy of mine away, my honest answer was, it depends on the circumstances. I mean you can’t just look at a photograph have a few texts or emails and fall in love. Can you?
Well through my research and girlie conversations, I have found that this is one of those ” Marmite topics ” where there seems to be no middle ground, people’s opinion are, you either can, or you can’t end of story.
Then one day, I braved the world of online dating and found myself being asked the same question, only this time, it was me asking myself the exact same question. Can you really fall for someone you have yet to meet in person? And without a moment of hesitation, my answer was…….YES!!!
Yes, you may think I’m crazy, but falling in love with someone isn’t a superficial thing, lust is superficial and once you get past the initial external canvas, everything else is exactly the same.
Falling in love with someone starts with getting to know them and having deep conversations with one another. Does it really matter if these conversations are by email, on the telephone, and via Skype? No…
The conversations make you laugh and smile and you soon begin to open up and share your thoughts and feelings, your likes and dislikes, your dreams and expectations, your secrets and insecurities, you feel like you can talk to him about absolutely anything and you feel comfortable expressing yourself and being yourself with him. You have many things in common and everything feels natural and you feel at ease when talking to him.
You will find yourself thinking about him, despite trying not to! You are checking your phone constantly, waiting for his name to pop up to alert you of a text message and when it comes, your heart skips a beat with excitement, it will drive you crazy that this person is consuming your thoughts, it is torturous that this person isn’t just 5 minutes away and you feel a longing and desire to be with him.
You begin to ask yourself ” What If ” and dream about meeting him. You start to envision the possibility of a future together, making plans to meet, talking about absolutely everything, nothing has any boundaries, you even feel comfortable enough to discuss sex.
Then after months or even weeks of talking…… You realise you care for him deeply and have started to fall in love with him, even though you haven’t physically met. You begin to discuss him with your friends and they may tell you, you are just in love with the ” idea ” of him, telling you to wake up and smell the coffee, it’s a fantasy, he isn’t real, you haven’t met yet and it couldn’t be love.
You find you are questioning yourself, asking, is it really possible to fall in love with someone you have yet to meet? Yet despite all of this, you can’t get him out of your head, you know he is genuine and you know how you feel.
You spent the time getting to know one another on a deeper level before meeting, you genuinely have a connection, you may have already seen each other on Skype or face time so you know what they look like and you genuinely know in your heart of hearts that you are falling in love with him and not just the ” idea ” of an ideal person.
Yes, I agree there are other important factors that also need to be considered like sex, do you even like the way he smells, the way he eats, the way he does lots of other things, but most of these things can be addressed with a little direction and a change in Cologne.
I’m of the opinion that this world has a population of 7.4 billion people, so why should we restrict ourselves to trying to find love in a certain mile radius, modern technology is a wonderful thing and aeroplanes can take us from A to B.
Love is never the same, it comes in many different forms and in different circumstances. Love is about taking chances, and as long as you are aware of the circumstances and are brave enough to face them anything can happen.
So the answer to my own question is yes!!! ABSOLUTELY!!
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This article originally appeared on Divorced Moms
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