Jayson Gaddis used to be the classic unavailable guy, the one whose heart women tried to melt. But it never worked. And he’s got some insight into why.
I used to be the classic unavailable guy.
I attracted insecure women who tried to crack the code of my heart.
They never found the key.
Well I’m about to share with you one simple “trick” you can do to get your shut down man to open up.
First, ask yourself a few questions:
Does your man get distant like I was?
Does he shut down and stay shut down?
Does he get irritated when you simply ask, “what’s wrong?”
Is his phone more important than eye contact with you?
Do you sense his heart is closed, guarded or protected in some way?
And, do you just long for that amazing heart of his?
If so, read on…
At a certain point while dating (or being with) a shut down guy, normal women reach their threshold.
They’ve had enough.
As one woman said to me recently, “I was banging my head against the invisible concrete wall of his heart.”
But here’s the interesting part.
These women keep trying.
Or, they leave the guy, only to find themselves with another shut down guy.
Okay, so let’s say you find yourself with a guy like this, what do you do?
One simple thing:
Do a 180.
Let me explain.
Most women are dealing with an unavailable guy backwards.
Remember, when I was an unavailable guy in my former life, I attracted a lot of women who were drawn to the mystery of my lack of openness.
They wanted “in.”
I didn’t even know I was blocking them out or pushing them away.
And guess what, the more I struggled, the more they tried to help.
Did that work?
In fact, them trying to “help” drove me further away.
The women I dated were making the same mistakes a lot of women make. As I said in another post, there are three big mistakes women make when trying to get an unavailable man to connect with them. Go watch that video.
But there’s good news…there is another way.
What is it?
Watch this video where I explain what to do instead. In this video, I share one “trick” that will get an unavailable man to want you, pay attention to you, and open his heart to you.
Check it out below.
What’s the trick, in case you didn’t watch the video?
It’s really quite simple.
So, instead of EHH, the trick is this:
Take the attention off him, and begin to focus on your own life, your empowerment, and how amazing you are.
In other words, focus all of your attention on you.
No need to wait around for scraps that resemble affection from him.
I guarantee you, when you focus on your own self care, self love, and self empowerment, he’ll do one of three things:
- Be inspired and snap out of his fog
- Feel intimidated and check out further
- Get clingy, needy, and desperate
All have benefits.
And all 3 are helpful to him and his path.
Women who date unavailable guys, slowly without knowing it, start to make it a project to “figure him out” to “get inside his head” and to “get him to love me.” It’s subtle and happens slowly over time.
And, when women do this, they lose themselves every single time.
Do you really want to work that hard to get love?
Not if you are smart.
Clawing at his heart is futile because these types of men do not value intimacy in the same way that you do.
So, if you are this woman, no need to lose yourself over time, trying to “get” the love you want by convincing your man to change.
If you do want an unavailable man to want you, then pay attention to you, embrace you, stand in your brilliance and stop tolerating men who can’t, or won’t, meet you there.
Photo: Flickr/Dan Queiroz