Getting into a committed heart-based relationship with a woman, especially something like marriage, is far too significant a thing to ignore these facts.
A man should never marry a woman he does not understand, and he should not attempt to marry her even until he gets certain tangible facts about his potential wife/partner and marriage because when a man fails to understand these facts about their woman, what ends up happening is that his lack of understanding creates a breakdown in the chemistry of the marriage/relationship. And this often happens before you get to the altar.
4 things a man can do to gain the wisdom he needs for a successful, loving, committed relationship with a woman.
- Take the time to understand your woman’s emotions. This goes beyond just trying to listen to her and understand or logically get her. This is about a man actually knowing his woman emotionally. This fact demands you as a man to invest time and energy. Most men know their women sexually and physically, but it’s very few that know them emotionally. You see, typically, when a man cheats it’s because he is looking for something physically new and fun, he is being immature and has not yet grown in this area of himself as a man. However, when a woman cheats, you will find that there is some emotional deficit in her life around the relationship, in regards to her man. When a man does not take the time to truly know his woman emotionally, he puts her into a compromised position without even realizing it. You may not understand every emotion, but you should have a foundational level of understanding her emotionally.
FACT: If a man does not ever really emotionally connect with a woman, it will be virtually impossible for him to ever please her sexually.
At some point, she will stop being attracted to you if you cannot relate to her emotionally. She will stop respecting you as a man and there is no way that a woman will be able to seriously commit to her partner and if they do not truly know her emotionally.
She may love you and even respect you, but if she doesn’t trust you, it is a sign that she does not feel emotionally secure with you.
2. Every man wants to be in charge, but few men learn to lead. Women, of course, are leaders too, but we lead differently than men, and a man who knows how to lead openly and collaboratively is a powerful, respectful thing.
What does leadership require? Direction or vision. Conviction meaning character/integrity and then influence.
So, we can see why so many men today cannot lead. Yet, this is something that is required in marriage and relationship, life in general for success and happiness. You should have a sense of purpose and clarity for the future of the relationship.
FACT: A double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways.
Why would any mature woman ever put their life in the hands of this sort of man?
She would not. And if she does, it is short lived.
A leader is secure enough in his direction and vision, in who he is to embrace the views, ideas and needs of his woman and family. He will not stifle or reject her input, rather he will receive her, love her and demonstrate her value in all things. The result is that this leader of a man will be trusted, and his woman will yield to him when he is convicted.
3. She needs your attention & approval. One of the games that gets played in our dating and mating world today is that the immature, elicit man will pretend to pay attention to her. He will validate her, compliment and swoon her, but will not be real with his intentions nor his feelings and many women will fall prey to this. Women love and adore men who pay attention to them. Not just the sexual or the compliments, but pay attention to her words, desire and conversations. When a man fails to validate consistently his woman in this fashion you are putting your woman into a bad position. When a man fails at paying attention and giving approval to his woman he opens the doorway to temptation for her. Like I shared before, most of the time when a woman cheats it’s because something emotionally is lacking. Women view this as not having enough attention from the man.
FACT: A woman who feels like she is not your priority or that you are paying attention to her the way she needs you to, is a weakened woman. She will start to notice opportunities elsewhere that she would not have seen before. She will be hungry and she will need to be fed somehow.
Most men do not know this, understand this or give it enough value. Instead they grow frustrated with the fact that their woman needs attention, wants approval and will end up belittling her in some way because of it. This is a big relationship mistake!
Ignoring your woman will never let you experience the best of her.
She will end up shutting down her heart to you and not trusting or respecting you, let alone desiring you. I should note here, that all too often this is one of the main reasons women stop being engaged sexually with their partners or able to have an orgasm with him. They may still give themselves physically to their man, but if she is feeling unseen or unheard and not validated and appreciated the way that she needs you too, then she is two-steps from the door.
FACT: When a woman stops leaning in with her heart and emotions, her opinions and thoughts or sexually she is questioning if she wants the relationship any longer.
If a woman loves a man she pays close attention to him, and can read into him. Pick up on the subtle things. A man can love a woman and not be smart enough to pay attention to her until she takes a physical step in a direction. Making him question his reality. Guys are not taught how to pay attention, but that’s no excuse if you want a marriage type relationship of commitment with a woman.
Bringing home the paycheck and doing all the things on the honey-do-list, plus some sex is not enough for a woman to be happy with her man. These things are certainly needed, however a woman has emotional needs and if she does not feel connected to her man emotionally then she will not be happy. This means he MUST be paying attention and valuing her emotional needs.
How does a man attain this emotional knowledge of his woman?
→ Information gathering. This means pay attention to her words, to her expressions and through others who know her well.
→ Observation of her. Pay attention consistently. When is she most happy with you, soft in spirit, feminine, full of joy, turned on and creative verses when she is closed, negative, hyper-emotional, depressed, angry, anxious, fearful, disconnected, lost, fake or over controlling.
→ Communicate with her. This is the hardest one. Most men find this one most challenging because they themselves are scared and uncertain. They don’t want the real truth so they ignore it all together. But if a man actually just sat down with his woman in love and with a heart of listening to her he could find out so much that would be helpful.
