You question whether or not you are the problem.
I’ve been a hopeless romantic since before I could read. Literally. I remember having a crush on this little girl in kindergarten — she learned to read before me, and I was smitten.
As I got older, not much changed. Other than the apple of my eye. There is not much that I find more valuable or more important than finding the love of your life.
Hopeless romantics are people who, no matter how much they wish they could, simply can’t give up on love. They can be hurt countless times and, nevertheless, they always come back for second servings.
Being a hopeless romantic can be tough. Over the years, however, you learn a lot — both about yourself and what it is you’re looking for in a partner.
Here are a few things hopeless romantics go through as they make their way to finding true love:
1. You date a lot of the wrong people.
As hopeless romantics, finding love is always on the top of our list of priorities. So… we do what we believe makes the most sense. We date. And we date often. And we almost always date the wrong people.
Thankfully, in time, you learn what works, what doesn’t work and you begin to better understand the type of individual you should invite to be a part of your life.
2. You go through long periods of loneliness.
After many a failed attempt at finding true love, you likely decide to take a break from it all and spend some time focusing on yourself. Once you feel that you’ve had enough “me time,” you always hop back on the wagon — you can’t give up on finding the love of your life.
3. You give up on love and decide YOLO is your life motto.
Then, every so often — almost always after a bad breakup — you decide to call it quits altogether. No more looking for love. No more dating.
All you want to do is enjoy your life and make less-than-ideal decisions. The ride becomes bumpy for a while, but being the hopeless romantic that you are, you inevitably set your priorities straight.
4. You realize love will never be a Disney fairytale.
Every woman is a princess and every man is a hero — our world is far different from that of any Disney movie. Every hopeless romantic’s hopelessness stems from some love story or other.
We cherish the concept as much as we do because we believe love to be an attainable perfection. Unfortunately, nothing in the universe is perfect. Not even love.
5. You become unwilling to make compromises.
Hopeless romantics almost always start off by expecting nothing short of perfect. They expect perfect moments, perfect memories and a perfect partner. Thankfully, being in love often allows for a certain level of flaw-blindness.
As time passes, however, and we regain our sight, reality kicks in. When we realize that our partner isn’t as perfect as we believed him or her to be, we often get cold feet.
6. You start making too many compromises.
When we fail to find love repeatedly, some of us decide we’re willing to make some compromises just so that we can settle. This is incredibly unfortunate, as settling never works out for the best. Eventually, we remember our worth and decide to follow a different path.
7. You decide you need to spend more time searching.
After years of trial and error, we consider that spending more time searching for the right person may give us better results. We spend some time drawing up the ideal person and considering where we are most likely to meet him or her. Most likely, we end up signing up for several dating apps.
8. You question whether or not you are the problem.
Maybe it isn’t him or her… maybe it really is you. Of course, that’s always a possibility. Sometimes we need to grow as individuals in order to be capable of loving another person the way he or she deserves to be loved.
Sometimes we aren’t yet good enough for the love of our lives. No one is perfect, and there will always be things to improve on. Even if you’re not the problem, you hopefully decide to direct more focus on yourself and your personal growth.
9. You decide searching isn’t doing you much good.
They say you don’t find love, but love finds you. I’d like to think that you can increase your chances of finding the love of your life, but the truth is that it all comes down to chance.
Whether you find him or her while looking or if he or she just happens to stumble into your life really depends on chance. You never know where life is going to take you — especially when it comes to love.
10. You get lucky.
This is the day that all hopeless romantics wait for: the day they meet the one. How you managed to cross each other’s paths… you have no idea, but you knew what you found almost the minute you found it.
This is the beginning of the happy ending you’ve been waiting for. Now the only question is whether the two of you are strong enough and wise enough to make it work.
by Paul Hudson
This post originally appeared at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson (@MrPaulHudson) has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. He primarily addresses the successes and downfalls of love and life.
Photo: David Martyn Hunt/Flickr