There is nothing wrong with being a goodhearted person. There is something wrong, however, with being walked all over by someone who doesn’t deserve your goodness.
He cheated again. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
‘Of course, he cheated again,’ you’re thinking in your head. But, you can’t tell your best friend that so you keep being the person she goes to when her boyfriend messes up, time after time.
Now, as a person with a kindhearted soul, I understand how easy it is to allow someone to use his or her words to manipulate a situation. In turn, you forgive for what he or she did or said to hurt you.
The worst part, however, is we forget everything has transpired since allowing this person back into our lives once or twice or so many times already. Too many of us are guilty of such a fault. We let someone, whether it be a boyfriend, girlfriend or just toxic friend in general, reenter our lives after causing us grief.
Why? We harbor memories of the little good they did do, and we try to suppress all the negative energy they brought with their presence. We, as human beings, don’t owe anybody anything. We do, however, owe ourselves everything, and for that, we must stop allowing any mistreatment from others.
Going back and forth with people who never bring any good into your life is a waste of time — here is why:
They Never Change
“I know what I did was wrong, but it won’t happen again.” Except, this is the third time they have said this. What are you doing? Why are you listening to the excuses?
Stop giving them the time to explain themselves. If they really cared, they would have never treated you like crap in the first place. You ever think about that? If someone cared enough to not risk losing you, he or she wouldn’t continually make stupid decisions.
If You Let Them Do It Once, It Will Happen Again
So you let your significant other, or whichever toxic person, back in after he or she lied, cheated or said something you thought was unforgivable. Guess what? Now that you have opened the door and let this person know you’re kind enough to allow another chance, he or she will abuse your kindness.
Once someone knows he or she can get one over on you, that person will capitalize on that, viewing it as a weakness. Then, you will end up back at square one and even more upset.
You’re Wasting Valuable Time
I mean c’mon. All this effort being exerted going back and forth could be used to better yourself. Instead of crying and fighting with someone, you could be perfecting your craft, getting fit at the gym or just having fun.
I promise you, that one person or situation is not worth the time and tears you are wasting. Realize your worth and move on. Time is of the essence; you could be letting a great guy, girl or friend pass by because you keep going back and forth with someone who isn’t worth it!
Trust Is Broken
Once someone ruins your trust, it is extremely hard to win it back. You are spending time trying to piece back together a relationship when, in the back of your head, you don’t know if it’s worth fixing, or even salvageable.
“What if it happens again?” Your mind will perpetually dwell on doubt. Is it worth it?
It Gets Old
Going back and fourth trying to spark a friendship or relationship gets super old after awhile. Nothing is the same, and although the ill feelings are suppressed, they may eventually arise again if something happens, which it most likely will.
I am not saying things cannot change. If the person who betrayed you proves his or her loyalty and the circumstances improve, great! But, trying incessantly to make a situation work, after it’s already failed you once, gets old after while.
Ever heard of the saying, “Out with the old, in with the new”? There are better things on the horizon, and as soon as you decide to rid yourself of the old, you will discover said better things.
There is nothing wrong with being a goodhearted person. There is something wrong, however, with being walked all over by someone who doesn’t deserve your goodness. Remember, you, your time and your energy are precious; don’t waste your life on something or someone completely unworthy.
This post originally appeared at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
Sierra Paige is a contributing writer based out of Dallas, TX. Sierra is a 22 year old Senior at the University of North Texas, and is a lover of all things eccentric. When she is not busy writing for the magazine she works for, she garage sells with her grandmother’s, focuses on her major’s in Non-Profit Management and Sociology, and collects vintage vinyl’s for the hell of it. She is currently publishing her first book, and will be moving up to New York City next Fall.To keep up with Sierra you can view more of her writings on Sierrapaigee.wordpress.com or follow her crazy little life on Instagreezy @Sierrapaigee.
Photo: georgios ka/Flickr