Kenneth Patricio puts his spin on lessons a son can learn from his father.
While it is clear that JD Roberto understands misfortune in the expectations and pressures of masculinity at least more than where the current societal standard is, it seems just as clear to me that he is not all the way there in his article (and comments on) “25 Life Skills a Father Can Give His Son”.
While there are few items on his list that I think should not be there at all, I believe there are more important ones that should be on a list from a Father to a Son these days. From his comment about “father issues”, I am assuming this is still a huge personal step in the right direction to free himself of stereotypes—I applaud that, though wanted to try and take it a step further by sharing my own list.
I included my favorites that I think Mr. Roberto had really nailed, and freely acknowledge that between further growth I still could use and the fact that I am not a father, my list is likely inadequate as well—suggestions are welcome!
How to say “I love you” and “I’m sorry,” and mean it.*
How to put others first without putting yourself last.*
How to think critically, how to ask questions, how to question answers.*
How to understand that no means no.
How to say ‘I don’t know’ and what to do next.
How to be learn what you can’t yet do.
How to be thankful, not just say ‘Thank you.”
How to do the unexpected if you feel it is right.
How to treat a partner.
How to see a fight coming and resolve it before that point.
How to be a be both a great leader and a great teammate (and how those don’t clash at all).
How to see the potential in those around you.
How to be serve graciously and be gracious when being served.
How to appreciate the things that give you privilege.
How to share things both tangible and those that are not (opportunity, power, time, etc.).
How to be vulnerable and see that as a strength.
How to feel ashamed only by your actions (no one is perfect) and not others reactions (though how to learn from both).
How to both challenge yourself but know when to ask for help.
How to have your own opinion and try and understand those that differ.
How to follow a recipe (including knife and mixing skills), and how to improvise with one.
How to be a great person without feeling like you are better than anyone else.
How to give a good hug.
How to cry.
How to delegate.
How to play rock-paper-scissors (and perhaps eventually rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock).
* These items are from JD Roberto’s original list