You deserve somebody who doesn’t pass you by.
Most of us have one person we swear was the one who got away. Maybe it was a best friend whom we never told how we really felt or the pizza delivery guy who had the messy, but sexy, man bun. We have all experienced the loss of someone we wanted to be with terribly.
Until time passes, we cannot fully know that everything will glide into place. It is far too easy to dwell on the past and think about what might have been in our unforeseeable futures.
We get sad when we realize we have missed an opportunity that could have blossomed into something great.
People can be so depressed when they believe they have lost their chance with somebody that they no longer allow themselves to try to feel the same way about anyone else. They detach from the notion of love because they feel like love has run away from them and it is never going to return.
How can you reevaluate this situation so that when a prospective partner walks out of your life, you lead yourself to further self-discovery and further happiness? You need to be reminded of a few things.
You can reframe the situation
Instead of thinking this person is the one who got away, deem him or her the best thing you never had. The key to open-mindedness is being able to take a component of your life that doesn’t seem ideal and twisting it until it looks less sh*tty.
Are you under your covers crying in clothes that are more depressing than your mood? Are you also wallowing over how love is never going to find you now that your chance is lost? Here is my suggestion to you:
– Get out of your “I’m sad” outfit. This is one thing that will handicap you while on your quest for a significant other. The power clothing has on your emotions is real. Put on some real clothes, like that top you always get hit on in, or the jeans that make your butt look better than Kim Kardashian’s.
– Remind yourself that in a world of seven billion people, you have not missed your only chance at a happy ending.
Once you learn how to reframe and alter your perception about a situation like this one, you will have the ability to look at other facets of your life with more positivity and more understanding that things are the way they are meant to be.
Whether we like it or not is debatable, but comprehending this reality is the first half of dealing with what life throws at us.
You are still learning lessons, regardless of his or her lack of presence
Despite the fact that these people never entered our lives the way we wanted them to, we can gain any perspective from the situation. On the contrary, these absences help us evaluate what we really want to bring into our lives.
Every person who impacts us in some way is meant to teach us one thing or another. If his or her absence is significant, fill the void he or she left in a healthy manner.
People inspire thoughts we regularly would not consider, and the best thing you never had will provoke thoughts about why fate disallowed the two of you to come together.
You deserve somebody who doesn’t pass you by
Clearly, this person does not see all you have to offer. It does not mean you were not showing him or her how charming and wonderful you are; it just means he or she could not comprehend it.
We are so prone to wondering what is wrong with us when we are rejected, we never think about the other party in the situation. Maybe he or she does not want a relationship.
Perhaps he or she has a weird fetish and does not want to creep you out with it. What if this person is in love with somebody else who doesn’t want him or her, either?
You can never know what a person is going through, but there is almost always more than what is exposed on the surface. Keep in mind that a relationship is not a one-way street, so you are not the problem.
You are, however, the solution to how you handle the situation. Be understanding, reevaluate and keep in mind that this person is not the one who got away; he or she is simply the best thing you never had.
This post originally appeared at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
Cashie is a 20 year old who takes too much pride in the fact that she escaped the frightening fate of teen pregnancy. Studying at Indiana University, Cashie is majoring in journalism and double minoring in bad decisions and Buzzfeed quizzes.