She will make you work for her love — and that’s the only thing that really keeps a relationship together.
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There is nothing more fascinating in the universe than a complicated woman. Most men seem to find women to be complete mysteries, but I never really seemed to have that problem.
Women are human, just like the other half of us. They’re rational thinkers and are motivated by logic. Women most certainly live in different realities than we do, but no two people share the same reality.
There will never be a more fascinating and novel version of reality for a man, however, than that of a complicated woman’s. But maybe that’s just me. I like puzzles and I’m good at solving them — so the more complex the better.
Nevertheless, a complicated woman is definitely one worth sharing your life with. She may be hard to love at times, but she’s most definitely worth the trouble.
She will almost certainly make your life more interesting.
Believe it or not, complicated people aren’t born complicated. There is no “difficult to figure out and sometimes to deal with” gene that parents pass down to their children. People become complicated when their lives complicate things.
If she’s complicated it’s because her life — at the very least — was complicated once upon a time. Complicated lives aren’t as unpleasant as most people seem to believe them to be.
Complicated usually means intriguing, out of the ordinary and exciting. Overly complicated is one thing… complicated is another.
A complicated woman is always an interesting woman. Why? Because complicated is always interesting. When’s the last time you heard someone say, “I love how simple my life is”?
A little complexity does a person good — especially when it comes to a woman. If she’s complicated she’s bound to complicate your life a little. And, like I said, it’ll make your life more interesting.
She’ll have led a fascinating life and have plenty of good stories to tell you.
Complicated people lead complicated lives, and complicated lives make for good stories. She’s bound to have gone on adventures and have had fascinating experiences. Even if the adventures were solely emotional ones, there’s still a story to tell.
What do most people freak out over at some point in a relationship? When they feel their partner has no more stories to tell them. Eventually, you are going to be hearing repeats, which is fine in the beginning. But after years and years, your loving partner starts to sound like a broken record.
Complicated people are difficult to figure out. Not just because they’re complicated, but because they tend to keep more to themselves than the average person. The more demons people have, the more they seem to keep their stories private.
Date a complicated woman and you’re bound to hear some novel, interesting stories decades down the line.
She’s difficult to lock down
Easy is boring — for some of us at least. Humans, by nature, like a challenge and men are no exception — even when it comes to their women. We are fighters, competitors and conquerors. More importantly, we like to win and we hate to lose.
If we fall for a woman, we pursue her until she falls in love with us. Or, the lesser of us, find excuses as to why she is not worth our time and give up. Either way, in our minds we don’t lose. If a woman is easy to figure out and easy to deal with, then we lose interest.
All the mystery is lost and we have no part of her that we wish to figure out or get to know. A complicated woman will always seem a bit of a mystery. You don’t have to be wholly complicated, but don’t be easy in all manners as your lover will get bored. The very same can be said when the roles are reversed.
She can be a little emotionally unstable, but that can help keep the relationship exciting.
Everyone seems to think that a relationship constantly at peace is a great relationship. To be honest, I can’t say whether it would be or not as I don’t know a single relationship that isn’t sometimes bumpy.
Relationships hit rough patches of all shapes and sizes. Throughout our lifetimes, we all have personal issues we need to deal with — issues that often affect the lives of our partners.
If not the issues themselves then the way those issues are affecting our emotional state and the actions that they bring about.
Constant emotional instability isn’t healthy, but from time to time, it can be a refreshing reminder of how alive you are, of how alive life can make you feel — even if your emotions are only fluctuating as a result of your woman’s emotional fluctuations.
Emotional states almost never cause physical harm — we simply choose to accept that the ones that make us feel bad are bad. That’s not necessarily the case.
She’s smart.
You have to be smart in order to actually be complicated. Otherwise, you’re only coming off as being complicated when, in reality, you’re simple — usually gets messy.
This isn’t to say that there is something wrong with being a simple individual. It may make finding a life partner a bit more difficult, but there are surely people who like simple. You clearly do.
There are surely plenty of highly intelligent, simple individuals in the world, but not all of them are. Truly complicated individuals, on the other hand, have to be intelligent. If they weren’t then they wouldn’t be capable of navigating the complexity that is their minds.
She will make you work for her love — and that’s the only thing that really keeps a relationship together.
Most people like to rush through the relationship as if there were some sort of medal waiting for them across the finish line.
You have to learn to understand that the relationship is the reward. That’s the beauty of loving relationships — you don’t have to wait to eat your cake. They do, however, require constant maintenance. The problem most often arises when one of the two decides he or she doesn’t feel the need to do any work.
Let’s be honest, this is, more often than not, the case with men. As men believe themselves to be conquerors of sorts, once they have the love of their women, they no longer feel a need to fight for it.
That’s the difference between a man and a lover. A man knows that he has to work to keep that love alive. A wise woman knows to make her man feel like he needs to work for it.
From time to time, of course. We don’t like to feel like we could lose our lovers at any moment, but we all sometimes need a reminder that it’s always a possibility.
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by Paul Hudson
This post originally appeared at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
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Photo: York Berlin/Flickr
Mental illness can make a person a very complicated partner to have. The difference in complicated and chaos lies in the person’s willingness to live a life that is self aware and proactive rather than a life where they expect their partner to “figure them out”. Even the biggest puzzle lover deserves a partner who takes responsibility for their own baggage. As a “complex” (person with a mental illness) woman I expect patience, compassion and communication from my partner….I expect to deliver it as well. I want my man to Love me and share our lives not spend his energy… Read more »
You date her, Paul.
I most certainly have some validation in this article – for myself and my friends.
Complicated doesn’t mean mental – think Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy: because they’ve been public enough, every body knows how it turned out.
Thank you, Paul!
Comedian Bill Engvall talks about his wife changing her mind and changing the rules so much, that he asks the question Is there a manual to this thing? meaning is there a book about his wife so he can know how to deal with her..
“6 reaons women are entitled to bring their emotional bagage into another reltionship”
There, I fixed the title for you.
Aso
“If we fall for a woman, we pursue her until she falls in love with us. Or, the lesser of us, find excuses as to why she is not worth our time and give up.”
The “lesser of us”? Really?
Haven’t guys who won’t take no for an answer caused enough trouble and grief already?
You so nailed it, justification of someone bringing baggage into the relationship.
On the other end of the gender spectrum it would be “too insecure to see love when he finds it” etc …
We all bring baggage in but the “lesser of us” crack was too much.
Why not the “wiser of us” ?
lol lovely “opinion” piece though.
I think the premise is incorrect. In my experience, “complicated” women, and men for that matter, have had me embroiled in more drama than i would ever want. More trouble in a relationship than it eas worth. Now complex women are altogether a complete delight. My first wife was complicayed due to circumstances as you described. She also had all the attributes you mentioned. But complicated meant serious drama. My second wife is complex and these have been the 8 greatest years of the 28 i have had of married life. She also has all the attributes mentioned. But without… Read more »
I like how you differentiated between “complicated” and “complex” Mark. I would tend to agree with you about the difference between the two.
This is an opinion piece which is fine. I think it requires a guy with high self esteem and solid boundaries to be in a relationship with a ‘complicated’ person. That’s not me. How do come to rely on someone you can’t depend upon? I’ve been married to the same wonderful woman for 27 years, she smart and sexy but the same woman every day.
So, not all men fall for a complicated person?
Emotional states almost never cause physical harm — we simply choose to accept that the ones that make us feel bad are bad. That’s not necessarily the case.
Cardiac issues anyone, Stress related disorders ….. emotionally unstable people, Depending on degree can cause great harm.
No one “deserves” a relationship the same as guys don’t deserve X Y or Z. emotionally unstable people need to work on themselves first then think about finding a relationship.