Let me take a wild guess at your current situation if you are reading this article.
You just met a great guy; you’re going on dates and spending quality time with each other, but it seems you still can’t get a read on him.
I have to release something from the black book of man secrets.
He is still trying to get a read on you, and until he does, he will remain reserved and slightly distant.
I have some good news for you.
If he takes the time to be patient and make sure he is going through the vetting process, it means he is serious about you.
The bad news?
It’s going to feel more personal to you than it is.
He wants to commit to a relationship, but in a man’s mind, when he goes all in, he is going all in with you.
So, he’s going to test you. The funny part is he might not even consciously be doing it.
Do you want to take a deep dive into what those tests are? Well, get your swimsuit on, and let’s go.
The Loyalty Test.
The loyalty test comes in many forms, but the central idea is that a man wants to ensure he is your number one.
Let’s get rid of the PC articles and get real here. While looks play a factor in men’s advantages in the dating market, it isn’t the primary thing a woman is looking for, fair?
A man measures himself by his accomplishments, character, and his confidence as a result.
When he lands a beautiful woman, such as the one(s) reading this article, he asks himself, why me?
He will fish around and get the answer to what makes him your best choice.
If you have ever dealt with a man who seemed overly skeptical about your feelings for him, this is why.
It sounds somewhat immature and the quality of someone who needs to be less insecure.
To alleviate this view above, every man hopes he is the one you want. In his mind, you have all the options in the world but like him.
He will reach for answers to make sure he is not competing against anyone else, see if your feelings waver, and if you stick with him through rough patches.
The Fallback Game
Phew, deep breath, you passed the loyalty test.
Now you can move forward and never worry again. Except you aren’t hearing from your guy as frequently as you used to.
You’re racing through your mind and wondering if there is something you did wrong and want to come up with a solution immediately.
You didn’t do anything wrong!
Men are used to the thrill of the chase.
At some point, a man wonders if you like him or were you more interested in the attention he’s giving you.
At some point, he’ll pull that attention back to see if you fill in the communication gaps.
The last thing a man wants to do is come off like he is thirsty.
For those of you who don’t know what that slang means, he doesn’t want to chase you, give you all his attention, and seem like he has nothing else going for himself other than attaining you.
The feeling you have that he might be fading away and losing interest is likely the opposite. You will know if a man has lost interest in you.
He wants to feel reciprocated interest.
The Stress Test
On the long list of things that men care about, a stress-free environment is at the top of the list.
The man in your life cares about you because you are the one thing he looks forward to, bringing him joy.
When that peace doesn’t exist, you will quickly fall into the category of things that make the day harder.
While I know this exists for women, a man’s interest will evaporate if he doesn’t think he can count on you.
The stress test is less of a test but rather an overall evaluation of how he feels about you.
Ladies, I promise you that a man who does not see you as a stressor will do anything to keep you in his life.
Once a guy knows he can trust you to be the peace in his life, he will do everything to be the peace in yours too.
Yes, before there’s an uproar, I know there are guys who won’t recognize the value you bring to them, but we are not talking about those guys.
Once you pass this test, any reasonable man will see your value.
The guys are pretty simple. We look for the reassurance that we are making the right choice.
Those who recognize what they have will do everything to not fumble.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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