One time I posted about my decision to alter, or ratchet up, my managerial style, and a very bright, educated person who is studying, well I am not sure what she is studying, but it is very complex, asked why, since I am such a unqualified success, and doing such a remarkable job of guiding my associates through the rigors of daily employment, biweekly pay periods, and the demands, benefits and hazards of the upcoming college basketball season, would I change my style? I think that was the question, maybe not quite verbatim, but the sentiment was similar.
I can answer that question in three words, Cynthia. Brazilian Wandering Spiders.
Recently, at the largest banana distribution facility in Brazil, the manager in charge of banana inspection, certification, classification, and venomous spider removal became a little complacent. Oh sure, he made sure the inspector, the certifier, and the classifier were on the job, and doing well, but, he stopped for a little Brazilian coffee (which is supposed to be very tasty, by the way), and thought it would be a decent thing to bring a cup for all of his employees.
While he was enjoying a cup of the delicious, dark, tasty coffee with his employees, including the venomous spider remover, a whole shipment of bananas left the building, bound for the UK crawling with Brazilian Wandering Spiders. They were recently spotted on bunches of bananas in London supermarkets.
Brazilian Wandering Spiders are considered to be the most venomous spider in the world. But, according to the “Mirror” out of 1,000 bites only 10 will be fatal, which is extremely good news for 990 bite victims. They are very aggressive, and as the name suggests do not build webs, preferring to walk around looking for trouble. And, as is so often the case with wandering troublemakers, they are nocturnal, and rest during the day. Which makes it very difficult for them to find meaningful employment. So, the cycle perpetuates, sleep all day, walk around, causing problems at night.
You see, Cynthia, this is the price a manager pays for trying to be a “good guy, trying to “ease up” a little. One day people are calling in because they “feel too good to work” and the next Great Britain is being evacuated because of the invasion of Brazilian Wandering Spiders.
Though the spiders are asking to be referred to as British Wandering Spiders, thinking it sounds much nicer, and is more accurate. Arachnologists are undecided about the name change.
This is not going to happen on my watch
Originally Published on Life, Explained