“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” – The Serenity Prayer
It’s a common two-line prayer that most if not all persons would have seen and read at least once in your life.
It may have been read mindlessly on the occasion, but it is prayer that offers a powerful inspiration no matter your spiritual background.
Life offers us all situations that may be possible to change and others that you can’t change. Throughout my time in graduate school, I would often hear my professor say that the only person you can change is yourself.
Sometimes awful situations come our way and it hurts, it pains, it shocks and all the host of other emotions. Yet the only thing at those times is to change our thoughts. It may seem impossible to do but looking for even one small positive can change your viewpoint on the situation, it is as if the universe conspires then to shine some light no matter how small when we look for positive.
We also can’t change persons, this may seem obvious, yet we all try to do it.
I have, my friends and clients have, and, in most cases, it ends disastrous to say the least.
We can offer guidance if asked, but rather than spend countless hours rehashing an ill someone may have committed against us. We can take the situation apart and accept and own our responsibility in the situation unfolding as it did and approach a comparable situation differently if such should arise in the future.
No area has found persons more determined to change others than in romantic relationships. I tried to change my ex-spouse and it ended in divorce. I tried to change other persons I dated, and it also ended the relationship.
While we are to lovingly support each other in a relationship, entering a relationship with the intent to change things you don’t like about your partner will cause resentment, anger, bitterness, and loss of your peace.
Trying to change someone is exhausting and impossible.
Someone will change if they really want to on their own, without constant prodding and nagging. While offering loving support and information, to encourage your partner to consider various issues, pushing them to operate in the way you want them to will push them away, instead of pushing them towards you.
The best gift in this world is peace of mind.
If you are not sure, ask someone who has spent years trying to change someone, only to realize the futility of the action.
Letting go is not just about others, but more than any other about self.
A dream, a plan, didn’t go the way you expected. You are in a job you don’t like with more mouths to feed than income allows, and you are wondering how and when you ended up in this situation.
It wasn’t what you envisioned, and you sit bitter and angry blaming others for how things didn’t turn out the way you expected. Letting go of how it should have been and embracing the now, frees you to truly live.
Living doesn’t mean a fatalistic acceptance, living means you accept your mistakes as great teachers.
You learn from the unexpected turns and twist, and you raise your head no matter how little out of the ashes and begin to dream and have hope again. Though it didn’t work out the way you wanted, doesn’t mean it never will.
I have a secret to share, there is a better future awaiting you if you will only let go of things you can’t change.
During the pandemic, many persons in my country lost their jobs, like so many others around the world.
My friend was one of them.
It was a despondent time and still is on occasions.
She had three children and no viable source of income to purchase necessary food supplies.
While we all offered support, she knew that she needed a long-term plan.
She had always liked gardening and turned to it for thought.
As she began producing vegetables that were chemical free and having a neighborhood group who supported by purchasing, she realized that this was a viable alternative.
The support of friends and relatives, led to a small but thriving business now, that supplies her financial needs while at the same time also offering her the freedom to assist her children with school. This wouldn’t have been possible if she had continued to be employed outside her own venture.
There are always options in deciding response to situations.
Getting bitter about a company retrenching her after fifteen years’ service or consider other ways to earn an income that allowed the flexibility and freedom needed with young children. She chose the latter.
What about you…?
Maybe it’s time to consider what in life you can change and what you can’t change.
In the midst of the disappointment let go and step out to what better is awaiting you. It will surprise you pleasantly.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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